AlexVIII

Better Than Revenge

4 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

A song I came up with. The melody is a bit too high for me but I liked it so decided to try and sing it as best I could! Just looking for comments about the songwriting/lyrics/memorability/flow etc. thanks :)

 

 

 

 

Lyrics: 

Seven hours and still no call
I wait for you
I been out in the freezing cold
Just like I do

Now you say you'll live without me
oh baby, you ain't go a clue
So I'll take all my love away
and watch what you do

I heard you've been running round
asking after my name
Turns out when I kicked you out
Life just wasn't the same

You really gonna stand there crying
stop whining, I ain't got the time
I did everything you asked 
and trust me I'm doing fine

You're going home on your own
Cause I lost your number 
When I deleted it from my phone

Goodbye, it's better than revenge
I don't want any part of your love
and I sure don't miss your friends
if you wanna see me cry, 
then you're wasting your time
'cause goodbye, it's better than revenge

Letters and Old photographs
you posted right to my door
you really think those little things
would leave me wanting you more

I don't want to think about you
no thank you, what's it going to take
you'll live in my memories 
in the past you will stay

You're getting drunk on your own
cause you're not the one I call when I pick up my phone

[chorus]

Heartbreak only leads to one thing (Revenge)
And heartbreak only leaves you one thing (Revenge)
But I'm not that bitter, 
So I won't do the same
Because revenge is for heartbreakers
but I'm better than revenge

[Chorus

Edited by AlexVIII
3 people like this

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Terrific, always enjoy your stuff.  You have an appealing Colbi Caillat feel that could be very radio friendly with the right breaks.

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Hi Alex,

 

I have heard a number of your songs and they all have a sweet, folksy feeling to them. You have a nice tone, too :)

I would like to point out a couple of things which, I believe, can be a value addition to your overall song quality (which is already pretty good!) for this song as well as others 

 

1 - Sometimes, a few parts of your music pieces appear a little rushed. Specifically in this song's case, I find that happening somewhere in the chorus. Of course, you're maintaining the overall rhythm while singing them but the flow doesn't appear smooth. So, you could work on your phrasing in such sections or on the length of the sentences.

 

2 - You have a nice way of playing with the notes while singing. And as Oswlek has mentioned, your's is a radio-friendly voice. With so much going for you, it would be great if you pay a little more attention to the pitch - which, you may have noticed, falters sometimes. It may not have to be perfect (though I'm my harshest critic, in this category) but it shouldn't waver to the point that some hooked listeners get a little distracted. And the only way to deal with it is by keeping up the practice, with special focus on this aspect :)

 

Hope you don't take this otherwise. But I say these because I see you with a lot of potential.

 

Sreyashi/Sumi

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Very nice tune, the lyrics stand out too. I like your voice in this range, definitely not too high. Good work!

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