crystalsuzy

COME WITH ME!

22 posts in this topic

Hi Guys,

Here's one of my latest creations. I know it's on the long side...I could probably cut some of the intro(with some difficultly)...what do you think?

It's not fully produced, as it doesn't have any drums or bass...do you think it needs them?

I won't say what this song is about to me, but I would be interested to know what you get out of the lyrics :rolleyes:

Thanks for listening and I will get to listening to more songs asap [smiley=hippy.gif]

 

https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/come-with-me



:Come with me, to the other side of the moon:

Come take this trip, on a sailing ship
It leaves at dawn, and it won't be long
Before we reach, our destination

So come aboard, you can't afford
To miss this boat, cause tho stay afloat
You must assess, your situation
It's time for, some exploration

Come with me now, can't you see
What's on the other side of the moon, ya the moon
If you'd only take, this chance we me
I could guarantee, your satisfaction

It's hard for you, without any proof
To follow blind, through your mind
Without complete, evaluation

The captain said, as we pushed ahead
Trust in me, cause beyond this sea,
Waits a land of, higher vibration
It's time for, some exploration

The possibilities are endless
Step out of your limited physical box
Discover your unbounded self, your true nature
Come with me, to the other side of the moon
You won't be sorry, if you take my hand, and trust in me

So trust in me, don't be afraid
I wouldn't lead you astray
So take my hand, come take this trip
To the other side of the moon...to the other side of the moon

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14 hours ago, crystalsuzy said:

Hi Guys,

Here's one of my latest creations. I know it's on the long side...I could probably cut some of the intro(with some difficultly)...what do you think?

It's not fully produced, as it doesn't have any drums or bass...do you think it needs them?

I won't say what this song is about to me, but I would be interested to know what you get out of the lyrics :rolleyes:

Thanks for listening and I will get to listening to more songs asap [smiley=hippy.gif]

 

https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/come-with-me



:Come with me, to the other side of the moon:

Come take this trip, on a sailing ship
It leaves at dawn, and it won't be long
Before we reach, our destination

So come aboard, you can't afford
To miss this boat, cause tho stay afloat
You must assess, your situation
It's time for, some exploration

Come with me now, can't you see
What's on the other side of the moon, ya the moon
If you'd only take, this chance we me
I could guarantee, your satisfaction

It's hard for you, without any proof
To follow blind, through your mind
Without complete, evaluation

The captain said, as we pushed ahead
Trust in me, cause beyond this sea,
Waits a land of, higher vibration
It's time for, some exploration

The possibilities are endless
Step out of your limited physical box
Discover your unbounded self, your true nature
Come with me, to the other side of the moon
You won't be sorry, if you take my hand, and trust in me

So trust in me, don't be afraid
I wouldn't lead you astray
So take my hand, come take this trip
To the other side of the moon...to the other side of the moon

 

Really nice sound! Lovely little chord progression, too. For the most part the vocal harmonies are really nice and there's enough going on both in terms of chords and layers of different sounds to keep the listener occupied the whole way through. What I like about the chord progression is that there's really something quite dark about the second chord, probably because it's completely dissonant with the tonic. There's also something quite whimsical about your delivery of lines, especially when you're just talking and that echo effect is there. I like that.

 

I would say that sometimes you could take a step back more when writing the music. For instance, the stanza (can it be called that? Lol) that starts with "It's hard for you..." sets up something quite melancholic with the chords that I feel could have been explored a little further, but you instead reigned it back to a happy dominant chord quite quickly. Perhaps this was your intention, but I think an opportunity might have been missed here.

 

If we're getting nitpicky, I would say that the start is too quick, abrupt, and is disruptive towards the otherwise very effectively suspended dreamy, sad-ish atmosphere. 

 

I'm curious to know if the tuba(?) instrument is real or synthesised? Either way, very nice.

 

As for length, I see no problem. Everything in there served the overall feeling of the song so I don't know if cutting would be that necessary. Perhaps cutting down just slightly would be beneficial purely as some healthy stripping back to the very best parts of the song?

 

Bass could be very good. Definitely worth a try, it could give some depth to some parts of the song. If you don't have the bass for most of the song and reserve it for certain parts, I think that will be more effective as the dreamlike atmosphere will be sustained overall and the bass will serve a single a nice bit of contrast to the otherwise very floaty (in a good way) sound.

 

I don't think drums are good idea. Percussion, if you're going to include it, should in my opinion be very soft and minimal, but I really think the piece stands up on its own without it.

 

Echoing your introduction, the end is again a bit abrupt. I think the final chord just needs some more time to linger before silence comes.

 

Overall a lovely song, makes me smile and relax. There's something ever-so-slightly sinister in there too, and I love it.

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This has a haunting psychedelic kind of vibe to it with the angelic ooohs and ahhs.. the way you are singing reminds me of some 60s songs.. I dig that trumpet! It really ads a cool element to the folk/ soft rock kind of sound u have. The weird echo talking bits really made it weirder ahah.. I like this. Maybe turn up the guitar? Its very quiet. 

 

Very different sound.. i liked and commented!. Would u be so kind as to return some feedback to me? Thanks!
 

 

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Wow ! Nice vibes all over this one. It has the 'Beach Boy' feeling ... thinking about the album Pet Sounds written by Brian Wilson when he was at his very best creatively. There are a million ways you can do when you do move forward with a full production ...

 

The base is brilliant and really enjoyable to listen to. This certainly is my favorite piece of yours so far !

 

Thanks for sharing :) I absolutely love the vocal arrangements !!!

 

Cheers !

 

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Posted (edited)

23 hours ago, lflux said:

 

Really nice sound! Lovely little chord progression, too. For the most part the vocal harmonies are really nice and there's enough going on both in terms of chords and layers of different sounds to keep the listener occupied the whole way through. What I like about the chord progression is that there's really something quite dark about the second chord, probably because it's completely dissonant with the tonic. There's also something quite whimsical about your delivery of lines, especially when you're just talking and that echo effect is there. I like that.

 

I would say that sometimes you could take a step back more when writing the music. For instance, the stanza (can it be called that? Lol) that starts with "It's hard for you..." sets up something quite melancholic with the chords that I feel could have been explored a little further, but you instead reigned it back to a happy dominant chord quite quickly. Perhaps this was your intention, but I think an opportunity might have been missed here.

 

If we're getting nitpicky, I would say that the start is too quick, abrupt, and is disruptive towards the otherwise very effectively suspended dreamy, sad-ish atmosphere. 

 

I'm curious to know if the tuba(?) instrument is real or synthesised? Either way, very nice.

 

As for length, I see no problem. Everything in there served the overall feeling of the song so I don't know if cutting would be that necessary. Perhaps cutting down just slightly would be beneficial purely as some healthy stripping back to the very best parts of the song?

 

Bass could be very good. Definitely worth a try, it could give some depth to some parts of the song. If you don't have the bass for most of the song and reserve it for certain parts, I think that will be more effective as the dreamlike atmosphere will be sustained overall and the bass will serve a single a nice bit of contrast to the otherwise very floaty (in a good way) sound.

 

I don't think drums are good idea. Percussion, if you're going to include it, should in my opinion be very soft and minimal, but I really think the piece stands up on its own without it.

 

Echoing your introduction, the end is again a bit abrupt. I think the final chord just needs some more time to linger before silence comes.

 

Overall a lovely song, makes me smile and relax. There's something ever-so-slightly sinister in there too, and I love it.

thank you so much for your very kind, and very thoughtful review, Iflux. I hear what you're saying about that melancholy chord, and I guess I did that on purpose, but maybe I should stay there a bit longer. Hmmm?

I also hear what you're hearing at the start...I never realized how abruptly it starts and ends! I'll have a look at that.

That's me playing a trumpet with some effects on it. I'm not that great a player though, so I'm glad it sounds OK.

I'm happy it didn't seem too long for you, but I could try and strip it back here and there.

I think you're right about adding some lower end in certain spots, but I'll have to find a bass player, or maybe adding some cello might sound cool.

Thanks again for taking the time to listen and comment. :hippy:

Edited by crystalsuzy
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4 hours ago, crystalsuzy said:

thank you so much for your very kind, and very thoughtful review, Iflux. I hear what you're saying about that melancholy chord, and I guess I did that on purpose, but maybe I should stay there a bit longer. Hmmm?

I also hear what you're hearing at the start...I never realized how abruptly it starts and ends! I'll have a look at that.

That's me playing a trumpet with some effects on it. I'm not that great a player though, so I'm glad it sounds OK.

I'm happy it didn't seem too long for you, but I could try and strip it back here and there.

I think you're right about adding some lower end in certain spots, but I'll have to find a bass player, or maybe adding some cello might sound cool.

Thanks again for taking the time to listen and comment. :hippy:

No problem, glad it was helpful! It's a lovely song and I've been listening to it some more since you posted it. Another small thing I noticed that could use work is the timing of the vocal harmonies; I don't believe they're always in sync, one or two times they are audibly a bit distant from each other

 

As for bass, obviously finding an actual bassist would be ideal but if it comes to it I could provide you with a MIDI bassline? You or I could write a bassline and then I could send you it in MIDI. Or if you don't use a program that supports MIDI then I could convert it to MP3 and send it from there. I think trying cello is a good idea though!

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Wow.......got that Lohn Lennon / Beatles sound going on with those horns and vocals mix.

Love the brightness, here. Very uplifting. Great harmonizing.

Good stuff!

                                       -Tom

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On 2017-05-01 at 3:57 AM, outss said:

This has a haunting psychedelic kind of vibe to it with the angelic ooohs and ahhs.. the way you are singing reminds me of some 60s songs.. I dig that trumpet! It really ads a cool element to the folk/ soft rock kind of sound u have. The weird echo talking bits really made it weirder ahah.. I like this. Maybe turn up the guitar? Its very quiet. 

 

Very different sound.. i liked and commented!. Would u be so kind as to return some feedback to me? Thanks!
 

 

Thanks for stopping by for and listen and leaving a comment outss :) It's definitley got taht psychedelic vibe...most of my songs do [smiley=hippy.gif] PS   I'll turn up the guitar

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On 2017-05-01 at 3:33 PM, Simon Darveau said:

Wow ! Nice vibes all over this one. It has the 'Beach Boy' feeling ... thinking about the album Pet Sounds written by Brian Wilson when he was at his very best creatively. There are a million ways you can do when you do move forward with a full production ...

 

The base is brilliant and really enjoyable to listen to. This certainly is my favorite piece of yours so far !

 

Thanks for sharing :) I absolutely love the vocal arrangements !!!

 

Cheers !

 

WOW! Thanks for you very kind comments Simon, and the comparison to Brian Wilson is a real ego booster :hippy:

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I enjoyed listening very much and that is what it is all about.  Your style is right on with your voice.  the arrangements and creativity are very good!!

 

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On 2017-05-01 at 10:50 PM, lflux said:

No problem, glad it was helpful! It's a lovely song and I've been listening to it some more since you posted it. Another small thing I noticed that could use work is the timing of the vocal harmonies; I don't believe they're always in sync, one or two times they are audibly a bit distant from each other

 

As for bass, obviously finding an actual bassist would be ideal but if it comes to it I could provide you with a MIDI bassline? You or I could write a bassline and then I could send you it in MIDI. Or if you don't use a program that supports MIDI then I could convert it to MP3 and send it from there. I think trying cello is a good idea though!

Hi Iflux, Sorry for the delayed reply to your very kind offer. I use garageband, and it does support midi. I'm certainly no bass player, so what I would come up with, wouldn't be very good. I'm still toying with the idea of a midi cello, but haven't had the time to work on anything yet. I'll keep you posted, and thanks again for your very kind offer :hippy:

 

On 2017-05-03 at 10:31 PM, IronKnee said:

Wow.......got that Lohn Lennon / Beatles sound going on with those horns and vocals mix.

Love the brightness, here. Very uplifting. Great harmonizing.

Good stuff!

                                       -Tom

Hey Tom, thanks for the kind words, and the reference to the Beatles :) Can't go wrong with that :hippy:

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Another amazing song, Suzy...

So delicate and so weird...

I always amazed by your singing... and the way you create this weird atmosphere...

The passage with the guitar is so cool... Nice harmony with the trumpet...

Great inspiration and great piece!

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On 2017-05-04 at 10:45 PM, Dennis Van Nice said:

I enjoyed listening very much and that is what it is all about.  Your style is right on with your voice.  the arrangements and creativity are very good!!

 

I'm glad you enjoyed listening, Dennis. Thanks for the thumbs up on my vocals, arrangement and creativity :) I couldn't ask for a nicer review :hippy:

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Good stuff! I get a Pink Floyd kinda influence emanating from it for sure. I like the vocal and music key changes, and the background vocals add a good vibe. The length of the song may be the only drawback in terms of keeping listeners to the end, even though it's a good tune. Attention spans are short these days. Still, Good work!

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Very cool Suzy - definitely the Beatle's 'Because' influences in there

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Hey Suzy,

 

Long time since I heard one of your tunes.  Thoroughly enjoyed it.  I too hear all the influences mentioned ... beatles ... beach boys.  Just a great vibe.  Love the horns ... it adds so much.  Since I didn't see anyone else take a stab at the meaning of the lyric, I will give you my take ...

 

I think it is a story about a gravely ill individual close to death who fear's the reaper's hand.  There is an old favorite Twilight Zone episode of mine starring Robert Redford, who plays death.  There is an older woman who is afraid to leave her home, because she fears death.  She eventually lets Redford into her home, who very peacefully and heavenly leads the woman to her final destination, so to speak.  All that being said, i could be way off! :)

 

Loved it.

 

Dave

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On 2017-05-12 at 4:40 AM, Matthew76 said:

Another amazing song, Suzy...

So delicate and so weird...

I always amazed by your singing... and the way you create this weird atmosphere...

The passage with the guitar is so cool... Nice harmony with the trumpet...

Great inspiration and great piece!

Thanks so much Matthew, for your kind review :) Means a lot to me that you like my vocals. I never think they're one of my strengths:hippy:

 

On 2017-05-13 at 11:50 AM, LooknGlass said:

Good stuff! I get a Pink Floyd kinda influence emanating from it for sure. I like the vocal and music key changes, and the background vocals add a good vibe. The length of the song may be the only drawback in terms of keeping listeners to the end, even though it's a good tune. Attention spans are short these days. Still, Good work!

Thanks LG! Glad you got the PF influence B) I know it's on the long side, so if it's not too much work, I'll try and shorten the intro [smiley=hippy.gif]

 

On 2017-05-16 at 2:13 PM, daryl1968 said:

Very cool Suzy - definitely the Beatle's 'Because' influences in there

Thanks Daryl! I love "Because", so that's awesome :hippy:

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I like the novelty of the trumpet at the beginning. I really like the entry of the vocal harmonies at the beginning. After the simple and sparse intro (which works well and I like), the vocals come as a nice surprise. This reminds me of the Siren's song from Greek mythology, trying to lure sailors to the shore. The whole song is peaceful and soothing. Well done.

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On 2017-05-17 at 7:08 AM, GocartMoz said:

Hey Suzy,

 

Long time since I heard one of your tunes.  Thoroughly enjoyed it.  I too hear all the influences mentioned ... beatles ... beach boys.  Just a great vibe.  Love the horns ... it adds so much.  Since I didn't see anyone else take a stab at the meaning of the lyric, I will give you my take ...

 

I think it is a story about a gravely ill individual close to death who fear's the reaper's hand.  There is an old favorite Twilight Zone episode of mine starring Robert Redford, who plays death.  There is an older woman who is afraid to leave her home, because she fears death.  She eventually lets Redford into her home, who very peacefully and heavenly leads the woman to her final destination, so to speak.  All that being said, i could be way off! :)

 

Loved it.

 

Dave

Thanks so much for your kind words Dave. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the listen. It has been a while since I've posted anything :( I've been dealing with a health issue, but hopefully I'll be back at it full-time soon.

I like your stab a the lyrics...not totally what I was meaning, but in a way, it is. But more about the death of the ego, than the body...of letting go of our instilled belief systems, and not being afraid of our spiritual selves...the other side of the moon :hippy: Thanks again!

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On 2017-05-19 at 4:28 AM, Paul Battersby said:

I like the novelty of the trumpet at the beginning. I really like the entry of the vocal harmonies at the beginning. After the simple and sparse intro (which works well and I like), the vocals come as a nice surprise. This reminds me of the Siren's song from Greek mythology, trying to lure sailors to the shore. The whole song is peaceful and soothing. Well done.

Thanks for listening, Paul. I was just improvising with the trumpet, so I'm glad you liked it, and the vocals :) I like the reference to the Siren's, although I was not intending to

lure anyone in, to have them hurt. This is meant to be a peaceful song, so I'm glad you found it, to be that :hippy:

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Hey Suzy, I've definitely heard this one before. I love the song and the way you do it!

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On May 26, 2017 at 3:48 AM, MonoStone said:

Hey Suzy, I've definitely heard this one before. I love the song and the way you do it!

Well, thanks again Dek, for stopping in for another listen and your kind comment! [smiley=hippy.gif]

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