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19 posts in this topic

I think I'm getting close with my mixes, I'm pretty dang happy with this, I see it's not... it's sort of crammed together, or like... forced to work, but I kinda like that.  Reminds me of those 70's and 80's punk bands that produced themselves and it came out awful and gorgeous at the same time.  Still suggestions are appreciated cause it could always be better.    Oh yeah and the song too, I'm not... the vocal isn't kiilllling me, but with all the difficulties I've had lately I feel like I need to settle at some point just to get something out there, confidence will probably come as I get positive feedback again.  Anywho... I'm talking too much, here's the song.  

 

 

 

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Posted (edited)

Very cool song, and I really dig it.  I hear the Bowie influence - very cool.  I really like your singing and the arrangement of vocals too, but I think overall they're a bit too up front in the mix, and I also think you could better balance them - i.e., have a more consistent blend, because some tend to pop out volume-wise here and there, and the falsettos get a bit lost; Are you singing "thank you jesus"? :)  I know what a bitch it can be to mix multiple vocals tracks, but I think you can mix these better still.  So, do it!  <heh-heh>

 

David

 

P.S.  I do wish the song was longer, but I guess that's a good thing. ;)

 

 

 

 

Edited by HoboSage

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Love the vocals, here!! Very ambitious....very Bowie!

Terrific writing and the performances are awesome. 

A pleasure!!

                                           -Tom

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I kinda like this. It is def some kind of old-school.... it's like 1979-ish New Wave vocals over 1975-ish blues rock guitar. It's kind of jarring, but it kind of works. The vocal and guitar melodies are good, they just seem weird together, but not necessarily bad.

 

This is like the 3rd song I've heard in the last month that channels the old New Wave kind of feel. New Wave was good, and I'd be happy if it made a comeback.

 

The lyrics are decent enough, but they are very wordy. That's ok in your verses, but I'd say that the chorus could be a bit stripped down, with the "tool" ad-libs maybe saved for a bridge or outro or something....? I think there's a bit too many things fighting for space in the chorus right now. All things need room to breathe.

 

Around the 1:40 mark you've got some weird hiphop vinyl scratching or something similar. It's yet another style, and I don't think this one fits the overall song. I had to stop playback to hear if it was sirens in the distance. It could maybe work as accompaniment to an otherwise a capella vocal, but I think it clashes with the instruments.

 

If you're aiming for fusion, that can be a really cool thing, especially since you have a good sense of melody. But I advise caution about just overdubbing one style onto another. Sometimes it might be better to write in the spirit of Style 1 while actually writing in Style 2, if that makes sense. Ex: I once wrote bluegrass type melodies (spirit of style 1) into a driving metal song (style 2) so I could conjur a specific recognizable feel. (*I* think the method can work. Before long I hope to post that one here and find out if I'm deluding myself about that.)

 

I'd be curious to hear some of your other fusiony stuff.

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To HoboSage:  

Thanks so much man!!  Yeah I'm finally starting to like my own stuff again.  When I was a teen I literally didn't hang out with friends, didn't go out to bars, didn't do ANYTHING cause all I wanted to do was create song after song and listen over and over, but I lost that for years, never felt like myself since, now I'm married, 32, and something in me is starting to snap and I'm really digging making this stuff again!  But as you said, I gotta learn how to record better!  I just bought this mic for micing my amp but I've never mic'd an amp before, it's giving me alot more information which is good I just don't know what to do with it all yet.  

 

Where could I go for more advice on mixing?  I feel like I really just need kind of... more muscle memory but with direction, if that makes sense... mixing is a feel thing but also a science thing, I think I'm good with the feel thing and I need more of the sciency thing haha  But thanks again man, I'll try to reel it in and I SEE what you're saying!  Oh and as for the song's length, YESSSSSSS MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Been listening to Wire alot, don't know if you're familiar but they're first wave 70's punk and they are incredible, they have really taught me how powerful it can be to make your songs VERY short, just get in, get out, make a big splash, GONE.  It's been my... thing lately.  

 

To Iron Knee:  That makes me really happy!!  Glad you liked it, more to come!

 

To Vara La Fey:  Thank you for the in depth perspective!  I think you and I see song writing a little differently but you help me to make sense of the way people I've know have written before and common criticisms I've gotten on my own music in the past.  I don't really think of my work as all that... like I don't plan any "fusion", I've actually been kind of convinced I may be writing in a new genre which could be called "gospel glam" most accurately, but that's not for me to decide.  But the fusion you're talking about is ALL my songs and it just happens, I saturate myself with 60's and 70's vibes all day and then 60's and 70's vibes come out but in a hodge podge, and since I grew up with smashing pumpkins and bands that surprised you with sort of... unnerving things with beautiful things.  But yeah, all my songs are frankensteins like that, this one isn't even all that many styles in one.  

 

As far as the chorus's....  I THINK that it's probably not so much about how much I have going on and how the mix is, I really feel like the sharp "worm and a tool" vocals in this mix were just too present, and too sharp, not sure how to fix it yet but I'm a gonna try by golly.   

 

Anyway, thanks for your feedback everyone!

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This song is meant for the stage and a crowd. I bet you're a performer...and even if you're not, in my mind you are. As a Bowie fan I'm not always drawn to Bowie-esque attempts, but I really like this song and style and I'm sure there would be fans seeing this live. For what my opinion matters, there's some f*cking talent here.

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So good!

What fx are on the vocal for that Marc Bolan thing? A slight flange?

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On 5/5/2017 at 10:27 AM, mrcaterpillar said:

So good!

What fx are on the vocal for that Marc Bolan thing? A slight flange?

It's a chorus on one vocal and then another vocal underneath that one with a delay, I think the chorus has a stereo widener on it too that makes it really like.... cool lol  I dunno music stuff.

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On 5/5/2017 at 1:42 AM, kenapayne said:

This song is meant for the stage and a crowd. I bet you're a performer...and even if you're not, in my mind you are. As a Bowie fan I'm not always drawn to Bowie-esque attempts, but I really like this song and style and I'm sure there would be fans seeing this live. For what my opinion matters, there's some f*cking talent here.

Yeeeeah... I got a presence alright.  I haven't gotten to show it in front of too many people, it happens when I'm mixing or showing people my music mostly though I HAVE seen it come out a few times in jams and stuff, kind of... begin to feel really powerful and I began take on a very commanding and royal sort of demeanor, it's kind of bowie meets jagger, like a more prim and proper jagger, or a bowie that moves, and I do dance, ALOT.  And my dancing can get crazy when it's my own songs, the energy just gets me and I do stuff I don't even know how I'm doing, for example at an appropriate time just falling on the floor but doing it fluidly!!  Like... I try doing these things when I'm not "in the zone" or "feeling it" and I have no IDEA how to do them, could even hurt myself trying some of them.  But get me performing one of my songs for people and suddenly my body is doing stuff I don't know how it knows to do, it's being propelled by a jet stream of energy, it's... it's like the greatest thing ever.  Just gotta get the album and the band together and start doing it more and more in front of people, I need to get healthier too.  

 

Thanks for your comments!  

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I like this, as other's have said it has a definite Bowie feel but more T-Rex to me (who I love). I like the part where you switch back and forth from singing to falsetto (:50s), could be a interesting "hook" part used within the song.. The overall production of the song is OK, but to my ear needs some more instrumentation to fill it out, (horns would be killer).  If you plan at some point to record this professionally it could be a great track. Ending was less than dramatic. Good job!!!

 

Jay

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Posted (edited)

I truly dig this. This mix is okay for a demo but could be better for sure which would really give this some balls. Sometimes the vocals are too loud compared to the music. Overall as a song, truly enjoyable with a nice retro-feel to it. It's a good style for your vocals. 

 

Randy

Edited by Just1L

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Posted (edited)

I love this song. The vocal performance makes this. I listened to some of your other tunes on Soundcloud. I really really dig "Princesa". It's raw, it's sexy, it's great. I would buy your album for sure.

 

The mix of Princesa is better than the mix you posted. Doesn't mean that it's a bad mix, I think it's a simple matter of the vocals needing to come down and/or the rest of the instruments brought up. 

 

I'm by no means a mix professional, but the one advice I would give you, is to take a song (or more) that is similar in vibe to what you're trying to achieve, and use that as a reference track. Start mixing, then every now and then, check against the reference track.

 

 

 

 

Edited by Will Sketches

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 I really appreciate all your feedback guys, I will respond better later, my cat died this week and my wife started a new job and things of just been kind of hectic, I'm reworking the song however, I'm adding more parts and fixing the mix, your suggestions have been  very inspirational 

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Posted (edited)

Is it going to make any sense at all, then, when I say that ... while the first third of this song is actually killer, the other two-thirds seem to shrink back from this and sound like ... "just another jilted boy?"

 

The first sections set an immediate and extremely-marketable contrast between the singer and his object, and in a way that any still-rebellious (even fifty years later ... :rolleyes:) lover could instantly understand.  In those sections, you plunge very-successfully (and, very-originally ...) down the very same avenues that have made a lot of money for a lot of people.

 

But then, I think, "you stop, and hand-over the keys to the girl."  Inexplicably, the lyric stops "moving rebelliously forward," even as it stops "rebelliously observing, and rejecting," the state-of-affairs that had been set-forth by "the girl."  Don't give-up control of the song like that.  At the end of the song, the singer should (IMHO) be absolutely and unapologetically just as he was at the beginning – and, every bit as insightful.  ("I'm eigh-teen and I like it!")  Yes, he presents us with several different contrasting viewpoints as one verse passes into the next, but, start to finish, he never hands-over the keys to the girl.

Edited by MikeRobinson

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Posted (edited)

I think it sounds like you are having fun in the song... and hell, I think that's what everyone tries to achieve. The only thing I would change is just a little more confidence in your vocals, for real... go crazy!!! And turning up the instruments in the mix. 

2:00 reminds me of What's Up by 4 Non Blondes.. which is a great song and you managed to get the same feel while being unique. It has a Bowie sound overall, but much punkier. I don't know.. I would download it like this. It's just a matter of how far you want to go with production.. if you want to keep this rawness..

anyway.. I enjoyed the song and I'm gonna listen to your other stuff :)! 

 

 

Yes... very sorry about your cat as well :(

Edited by Jenn

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Sorry to hear about your cat, Symph.

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Hey Stranger

cool little ditty...hit me up for some mixing advice (check your PMs)

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I like this song.  I couldn't really understand the words, but the way the rhymes were working, it seemed to feel good as I was listening to it.

 

i really like the melody and interesting rhythms in the chorus.  Also, I think the way the voice is mixed is nice right now.  The whole thing feels a bit messy, but in a good way :)

 

on a side note: be careful about how many style labels you give your song.   I noticed all your tags, but didn't hear all that in the song.  Just some food for thought :)

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Cool song idea.  Vocals are really really good.  You definitely captured a 70s glam rock feeling, especially the vocal arrangement.

 

Mix could do with some work - guitars are too low.  Drums could be mixed better - more ambience, do not sound like they were treated with the usual onslaught of plugins, vocals are too loud.  I would make the solo more exciting and longer - it gets buried.  The guitar tones don't do it for me - a little too fuzzy, maybe EQ them and bring out more mids?  Also, I would double-track the guitars, sounds like they are mono and panned L only.

 

I would spice up the intro a bit - like you have a kick on the 1,2,3,4 for the intro.  I would have the guitar come in alone for 4 bars, then have the kick and two toms play on 2 and 4 and add an exciting roll to bring in the song.  Sometimes less is more, and it will make the build up more dynamic - just a suggestion.

 

I would also consider for the guitars to alternate palm muting with some unmuted strums to make the guitar part more exciting.

 

Hope this helps.

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