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JoeyM    6

I would appreciate any constructive critiques before I record. 

 

It Won’t Be Love

 

She’s dancing solo, looking hot tonight
And the crowd is keeping time
Must have a thousand moves, she knows what men like
‘N I've got somethin' on my mind

 

Stepping down from the stage
She moves to my side

 

Ch1

I said I need somebody to hold

On this bleak and lonely night

Someone to cling to in a world grown cold

Then I’ll be gone, long out of sight

I know it won’t be love, call it passion if you want

Just two strangers tangled in the dark

When morning comes and our eyes meet in the sun

Sweetheart, I’m sure it won’t be love

 

She wonders if I’d been there before

Never saw me in the crowd

Said she felt something when I walked thru the door

So handsome and so proud

 

Looking into my eyes

She straddles my knee

 

Ch2

I said I used to hold somebody I knew

Just getting by on my own

Get so lonesome, didn’t know where else to do

Not the same since she’s been gone

I know it won’t be love, call it passion if you want

Just two strangers tangled in the dark

When morning comes and our eyes meet in the sun

Sweetheart, I’m sure it won’t be love

 

When morning comes and our eyes meet in the sun

I guarantee it won’t be love

 

Copyright 2017 ~ J. W. McMichael

 

Edited by JoeyM
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Blupa    46

"When morning comes and our eyes meet in the sun

Sweetheart, I’m sure it won’t be love"

 

Nice. Makes me smile :)

 

Charming story.

 

G

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You've got an interesting hook line, "I'm Sure It Won't Be Love" and for that matter, I'm of the opinion you should use that full line as your title.  It has more interest than just "It Won't be Love".  The theme has the feel of a country song to me, though it could also be a rock song.  The persona you give to her with your opening lines and "Looking into my eyes, she straddles my knee" lends to the feel that they're both looking for the same thing--like there is that possibility that she's fully aware that its not love and is okay with that.  It also lends to the feel that they might already have been familiar, the way she beelines it for him.  The chorus sounds like his appeal to her for a physical only, with no strings attached just to cover himself.  I just get a deep male drawly country voice that comes to mind as I consider the lyrics.

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