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Jenn

How to sing with confidence?

14 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

So as it's clearly demonstrated in my demo's... I'm not too good of a singer. I'd like to attribute this to being confined to my dorm room and being worried about being heard.. but I think it's so much more than that. I don't want to be heard, but at the same time, I can't not be heard. I need to sing and I actually end up getting really bad anxiety if I go a couple of days without it.. 

I've performed in front of crowds, and my nerves have gotten better. Most times I can hardly control my pitch/breathing but there have been a couple of times where I was just one with the music. And I've never felt something so.. spiritual for lack of a better word. I gave myself to the song.

The thing is, I know what my voice is capable of. When I'm not in front of people, I actually surprise myself sometimes. But when I go to record myself, I get so scared of what comes out. 

I want it to be like those few times that happened when I performed, because they truly were magical and have the confidence of when it's only just me.

So I guess.. how do you become confident in your voice? 

And also another big question... how do you decide what's a good vocal recording and what isn't? I'll record a lot of vocals and then get frustrated/lose the emotion when I think the track sounds bad, but in reality, it's probably really not bad at all...

 

This was kind of me rambling.. but I'm really tired of feeling this way :( and just need some advice..

Thank you

Edited by Jenn

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Hey Jenn,

I have to be honest with you, it's up to you. There will come a time when your confidence over rides all the insecurities and negative talk in your head (or your nerves) and it'll be good.

I always had stage fright. Then a music teacher told me to change the nervousness I thought I was feeling into excitement. It took a while but I decided to do it because I knew I loved being on stage and singing. I had to overcome or loose.

I realize your in a dorm but you wont be forever. In the mean time, I suggest going to a music store in your area and find a vocal coach. This way once a week you pay for lessons but get to sing!!!

I don't have much advice about recording because I can't stand the sound of my voice (I think that's pretty typical...) In my case I ask people who don't love me to give me there opinion. I ask them to be honest and not just tell me what I want to hear.

I've only heard one of your songs that you posted from your dorm and it sounded like you can capture the melody very well.

I hope I've helped a little bit... I did follow you on soundcloud. :-)

Be Well,

Lisa

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1 minute ago, Lisa Gates said:

Hey Jenn,

I have to be honest with you, it's up to you. There will come a time when your confidence over rides all the insecurities and negative talk in your head (or your nerves) and it'll be good.

I always had stage fright. Then a music teacher told me to change the nervousness I thought I was feeling into excitement. It took a while but I decided to do it because I knew I loved being on stage and singing. I had to overcome or loose.

I realize your in a dorm but you wont be forever. In the mean time, I suggest going to a music store in your area and find a vocal coach. This way once a week you pay for lessons but get to sing!!!

I don't have much advice about recording because I can't stand the sound of my voice (I think that's pretty typical...) In my case I ask people who don't love me to give me there opinion. I ask them to be honest and not just tell me what I want to hear.

I've only heard one of your songs that you posted from your dorm and it sounded like you can capture the melody very well.

I hope I've helped a little bit... I did follow you on soundcloud. :-)

Be Well,

Lisa

i never used to have stage fright.. when i played trumpet, yeah i would be nervous, but as soon as i got the first note, it would be ok from there on out. but my voice is so personal and i think i'm trying to break down that barrier between the outside world and what i'm like in solitude.

i've never thought of myself as a performer or anything, but i can't help but pour passion out of me when i sing alone haha as weird as it sounds. and i think that if i learn how to get comfortable, it would truly be a sight to see. i mean.. i know that's what i love to see in performances.

i think it's just allowing myself to be that vulnerable. 

 

i do take voice lessons, though it's classical and i don't like to sing classically.. 

i've come to get used to the sound of my voice. but the horrible thing with that is that i know when it sounds good and when it sounds bad. and usually i think it's bad... but i'm also my own worst critic.

 

i really just need a place where i can lose all inhibition and get in that space with just me and the song.. 

 

thank you for sharing!

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Posted (edited)

Hey Jen,

Here's my 2 cents, hope it helps at all.

 

Some are natural born performers, most are not.

That doesnt have to affect ones ability to get on a stage and sing.

 

The one fail proof way to do so, and get better at it, is to perform when ever you can.

 

I wont sugar coat it, you might fail to bring your full potential to the table the couple of first times. And you will probably have moments when you feel akward and insecure and regret the whole thing.

 

How do you handle that?

 

Well, accept it for what it is.

It's ok to fail. You will get better and more confident. Don't care about others opinion of how well you did, those are irrelevant. Shut that critic voice in your head by telling it "well, im doing my best, go away you #/*@$&$&").

 

Remember you are a true hero for putting your feelings to text and have the courage to share them.

 

Rock on...

 

B.T.W - your music is very cool

Edited by Leo

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Jenn, 

 

Leo is true about acceptance. As soon as the awareness and understanding lands on the fact that at the point of the performance, what you've got is what the people will get, the nervousness wouldn't even matter anymore! I'm not saying that it's easy. Even to this day, I get nervous too until the first step I take on that stage. 

 

Then I just go into a state of mind where it goes "this is it, there's no point worrying about it now, I might as well have a good time while I'm at it." I find a sense of freedom being on stage. To say what I want, express what I want and for that very same "spiritual" point you made, I realize that what people will say doesn't matter anymore. And what I SAY and express does. Whether it sounds good or not. 

 

It doesn't come by telling yourself that. It comes by UNDERSTANDING & REALIZING IT enough to not be bothered by anything else. 

 

I'm not saying it's easy or difficult, but it's something you can build on by setting up that state of mind before every gig and then learning from the experience. 

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Posted (edited)

Hey Jenn,

 

I'll tell ya what works for me in terms of confidence, the lack of which you can really hear. I started dragging my laptop, microphone, and USB interface into my car, parking it somewhere where nobody is around, and then singing my lungs out where nobody can hear me. This is not as bad of an idea as it sounds. Besides the fact there is a lot of glass for your vocals can bounce off of, your car is one place where you can bet that some attention has been paid to sound treating and acoustics.

 

I also look at every line I sing in Logic's pitch editor after each take. Sometimes my ears don't do a great job of telling me when my pitches are a bit wonky, but I can certainly see it with my eyes. I can see where I scoop up to pitches, and where I'm sharp or flat. I fix it in production, but more importantly I think about the mistakes I make in between takes and try to correct next time.

 

In terms of figuring out when a vocal is "good enough" what I do is record 10 takes of everything and then use Logic's "take folders" to "comp" a take (selecting the best parts of each take to form a composite take) that is as good as I can make it. Logic has a swiping feature that makes this relatively easy (easier than cutting and pasting together little bits of audio anyway). Sometimes I sing on particular part bit of a vocal phrase with more confidence / emotion / style and I like to be able to pick and choose each of the bits that I think are the best. This is tedious work but I think in the end it's worth it.

 

Good luck!

 

Edited by chumpy

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1 hour ago, chumpy said:

Hey Jenn,

 

I'll tell ya what works for me in terms of confidence, the lack of which you can really hear. I started dragging my laptop, microphone, and USB interface into my car, parking it somewhere where nobody is around, and then singing my lungs out where nobody can hear me. This is not as bad of an idea as it sounds. Besides the fact there is a lot of glass for your vocals can bounce off of, your car is one place where you can bet that some attention has been paid to sound treating and acoustics.

 

I also look at every line I sing in Logic's pitch editor after each take. Sometimes my ears don't do a great job of telling me when my pitches are a bit wonky, but I can certainly see it with my eyes. I can see where I scoop up to pitches, and where I'm sharp or flat. I fix it in production, but more importantly I think about the mistakes I make in between takes and try to correct next time.

 

In terms of figuring out when a vocal is "good enough" what I do is record 10 takes of everything and then use Logic's "take folders" to "comp" a take (selecting the best parts of each take to form a composite take) that is as good as I can make it. Logic has a swiping feature that makes this relatively easy (easier than cutting and pasting together little bits of audio anyway). Sometimes I sing on particular part bit of a vocal phrase with more confidence / emotion / style and I like to be able to pick and choose each of the bits that I think are the best. This is tedious work but I think in the end it's worth it.

 

Good luck!

 

i've actually taken my computer with me in my car and done that haha.. funny how we work alike. i was afraid of a cop coming or people walking by... :\

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The problem is that we worry way too much about what others think about us. And the truth is that there's nothing that can be done about what they think about us (singing included) :D:D

 

If you take a moment to think about it and just relax, your natural confidence and singing will take over. You can't please everyone but you can start with pleasing yourself, which would be the most difficult if you are your worst critic (I struggle with this, too). And this is where acceptance comes in. There's an audience for every kind of artist... you have your place, too. Just work on yourself and have fun along the way :)

 

 

 

 

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On 5/16/2017 at 9:28 AM, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

The problem is that we worry way too much about what others think about us. And the truth is that there's nothing that can be done about what they think about us (singing included) :D:D

 

If you take a moment to think about it and just relax, your natural confidence and singing will take over. You can't please everyone but you can start with pleasing yourself, which would be the most difficult if you are your worst critic (I struggle with this, too). And this is where acceptance comes in. There's an audience for every kind of artist... you have your place, too. Just work on yourself and have fun along the way :)

 

 

 

 

it's kind of gotten to the point where i've stopped caring about singing in front of people.. but i still definitely keep it quiet. but maybe that will change soon too.. and i'll be singing full volume :D

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Correct me if I'm wrong but when you say "one with the music", I've made the assumption you do not play in a band, but rather sang to a track. Rehearsing in a band in some ways is a baptism of fire, the fear of making mistakes is there but if you make a mistake it isn't like on stage where it's done and dusted, you'll possibly be stopped during the track and go over it again, or at the end of the song someone will say something.

 

Not all people can take that sort of constructive criticism from peers, and not all peers give it in a kindly manner. But it certainly does make you grow as a performer and a singer.

 

The thing that helped me most was when I realised that most of the places I play the people there just love the fact that there is live music and people by and large do not have excellent musical perception as it is. Live performances are VERY different to studio recording, if you don't quite get the note or reach it with strain it's sometimes acceptable. In a recording we look for the absolute best we know we are capable of. By and large, if you don't get it with the first five or six takes... Take a break and come back fresh!

 

The front man in our band has suffers with bad anxiety. In the past when we played "Don't stop believing" he sang it perfectly without fail everytime. One time during a recording he botched a note and he developed a psychological barrier for that song where it was 50/50 if  he would sing it well or not. With time, practice and recording other, simpler songs very well and performing very well his confidence grew and now he sings it perfectly once again. The mind is a powerful thing but at the end of the day it's -usually- up to you how far you want to go in honing your skills. I say usually because I don't know your personal circumstances such as health, time constraints and personal life. Those things usually play a big part in your overall confidence.

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4 hours ago, AlexOConnor said:

Correct me if I'm wrong but when you say "one with the music", I've made the assumption you do not play in a band, but rather sang to a track. Rehearsing in a band in some ways is a baptism of fire, the fear of making mistakes is there but if you make a mistake it isn't like on stage where it's done and dusted, you'll possibly be stopped during the track and go over it again, or at the end of the song someone will say something.

 

Not all people can take that sort of constructive criticism from peers, and not all peers give it in a kindly manner. But it certainly does make you grow as a performer and a singer.

 

The thing that helped me most was when I realised that most of the places I play the people there just love the fact that there is live music and people by and large do not have excellent musical perception as it is. Live performances are VERY different to studio recording, if you don't quite get the note or reach it with strain it's sometimes acceptable. In a recording we look for the absolute best we know we are capable of. By and large, if you don't get it with the first five or six takes... Take a break and come back fresh!

 

The front man in our band has suffers with bad anxiety. In the past when we played "Don't stop believing" he sang it perfectly without fail everytime. One time during a recording he botched a note and he developed a psychological barrier for that song where it was 50/50 if  he would sing it well or not. With time, practice and recording other, simpler songs very well and performing very well his confidence grew and now he sings it perfectly once again. The mind is a powerful thing but at the end of the day it's -usually- up to you how far you want to go in honing your skills. I say usually because I don't know your personal circumstances such as health, time constraints and personal life. Those things usually play a big part in your overall confidence.

You're right, I haven't been lucky enough to play with a proper band :(. But I have had to sing with a piano accompaniment for a group of maybe 20 people.. and have had to sing in front of my two teachers for a grade. To be honest, I just kind of drank so it would take some of the nerves away and give some confidence. 

I would say I'm pretty good with constructive criticism if I know I can do better. And I don't think I've been put into a position where I couldn't possibly do any better. 

I think it's just breaking through the point of being ashamed of my voice, and just letting it out..

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I try not to comment twice on the same thread unless it's absolutely necessary but when you say your ashamed of your voice... I find that sort of heart breaking.

 

It's okay to be nervous. For some (not all) people, being over confident causes them not to try not quite so hard. Being ashamed however is not the same as being nervous. To define being ashamed: "embarrassed or guilty because of one's actions, characteristics". Such feelings will not enhance your performance, they may even hinder your progress as a musician and vocalist!

 

Singing to an audience is an art form where you openly express yourself in a way most people are incapable or too scared, it takes a lot of bravery. That is certainly nothing to be ashamed of! It's true that initially you may feel a form of embarrassment about publicly sharing your work, particularly if you play originals, but these feelings shouldn't get in the way of what's really important and that's you!

 

Your voice is an extension of yourself and you ought to be proud that you're one of the few people that can perform publicly and share your creativity, not ashamed. There are many people that sadly are incapable of performing for various reasons or -feel- they are incapable. Just be sure you don't find yourself thinking you are the latter! Singing with confidence only comes with time AND self belief.

 

I personally feel a sense of humility and modesty is good, I personally don't gel well with overly proud or boastful musicians but the balance is always tricky!

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Posted (edited)

4 minutes ago, AlexOConnor said:

I try not to comment twice on the same thread unless it's absolutely necessary but when you say your ashamed of your voice... I find that sort of heart breaking.

 

It's okay to be nervous. For some (not all) people, being over confident causes them not to try not quite so hard. Being ashamed however is not the same as being nervous. To define being ashamed: "embarrassed or guilty because of one's actions, characteristics". Such feelings will not enhance your performance, they may even hinder your progress as a musician and vocalist!

 

Singing to an audience is an art form where you openly express yourself in a way most people are incapable or too scared, it takes a lot of bravery. That is certainly nothing to be ashamed of! It's true that initially you may feel a form of embarrassment about publicly sharing your work, particularly if you play originals, but these feelings shouldn't get in the way of what's really important and that's you!

 

Your voice is an extension of yourself and you ought to be proud that you're one of the few people that can perform publicly and share your creativity, not ashamed. There are many people that sadly are incapable of performing for various reasons or -feel- they are incapable. Just be sure you don't find yourself thinking you are the latter! Singing with confidence only comes with time AND self belief.

 

I personally feel a sense of humility and modesty is good, I personally don't gel well with overly proud or boastful musicians but the balance is always tricky!

music has never really been embraced by my family.. it's no sob story, but I suppose it has affected my confidence. And yes, causes me to be ashamed of my voice.. 

But the few moments that I've had on stage/in my car, where I let the world fall away, I truly understood the platform that music becomes for emotional exorcism.. so my goal is to be able to have this feeling all the time.. then go back to my family and show them what I am

I think slowly but surely, I'm beginning to believe in myself :) and kind words from others always gives a great confidence boost.. thank you

Edited by Jenn

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On 15/05/2017 at 4:18 PM, chumpy said:

I started dragging my laptop, microphone, and USB interface into my car, parking it somewhere where nobody is around, and then singing my lungs out where nobody can hear me.

 

That was you?!

Damn... You scared me man!

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