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Force    8

I just wrote this over the course of a couple of days and I'd love feedback ,whether about mixing, vocals, or lyrics.

 

 

 

Lyrics:

 

I can’t find a way out of this place,

Driftin’, imaginin’ space,

Tryin to sieze the day but motivation is going to waste

I’m bracing against opposition,

Hating the pen, my ambition

Fighting again, I can force a smile and pretend it’s okay

Every day I see it out there, calling me

But every time I try and buckle down on a beat

The energy just slips away, like I drank Hennessey

But I’m not drunk, the will to live is just f*ckin’ exhausting me

Tell me how I fix this, tell me how I find the cure!

I got a vision but shit got me blinded, feelin’ insecure.

It’s in my head, it’s dead, it’s fed by shame and pain I can’t endure,

It hurts, I write a verse to curse my personal berserk liqueur

Stop all this carnival fun-house material,

Drop the facade and this bullshit ethereal

Pop, give it up for this not-hot mysterious

Prop, take him up to the top, it’s a miracle.

 

(chorus)

 

I think I’m in the pink of health, but shrinks tell me to drink a pill,

It stinks, me bein’ rinky-dink, wink wink, I’m on the brink of hell

Methinks I better sink or sail, ding-ding, chasing the big green whale,

It’s me, just a plastered bastard, rapping faster till I’m in clink-clink jail.

Do you know what it’s like to be me?

Shit is hard when it should be easy

I’m ashamed of myself, and afraid to get help, even when it’s offered freely

Look. This situation is a serious affliction,

‘Stead of poppin mollies, we just lie in bed without conviction,

Feelin sorry for ourselves so much it’s now become addiction,

Tryna kick the habit but still sabotage our vision.

f*ck it all, no percocet but tripping balls, still nervous yet

Not gonna fall, ain’t worth it, heck with Adderall, I worked this shit.

And the voice still says I’m inadequate,

But you don’t give up, you battle it

And you keep what it says from matterin

Find the gate to your cage and rattle it

And even when no one is havin it,

Imma be the beast, I’m ravenous

And I’ll say when I look back on it,

I’ll never live like that again.

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i like the lyrics there good but im of put by the imitation flow of Eminem. if your good at writing lyrics then a good flow should follow. a unique flow will you set you apart from other artists. it may just be the type of beat because somebeats kinda force you to have a certain flow however established artist will leave there own unique mark on any beat

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Force    8

Dang, I thought I'd distanced myself enough from Eminem, but I guess I wound up back similar to him after sounding too much like Tech N9ne and Hopsin my other two go-rounds. He is one of the big influences on my style, though, so I'm not sure where to go. I've always been closer to a chopper than a smooth-flow rapper. Where would you suggest I take my flow?

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develop one from scratch bro, take things like the way you speak normally, style of writing and beat type. you should develop something new. your rhyme structure choice of syllables etc will influence your flow

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