Jump to content

Your Ad Could Be Here

fake vs real people


Recommended Posts

demons inside of me

making me cry and go on my knees

i stand there crying while i'm waiting for someone to start believing

some people think they have to be rich to be true

but just be you

and being broke doesn't make you fake it makes you humble and kind

so just leave that crap behind

everyone talking but but really ain't walking

don't listen to those talking behind your back

they really just seek the things you have but they lack

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A little tweaking and I think you're on to something. It could be just me, but the way it reads to me is kind of rappish.

Is that your intent or did you even consider it the makings of a song? Whatever the case you're on your way somewhere with it.

Good luck! Robert

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Since there is no apparent song structure, it's hard for me to say much about this. There are some good lines in there. One thing is to think about continuation when writing. For example, in the second line it ends with "go on my knees," yet the next line starts saying "I stand there." 

 

Also, look and examine common lyrics of songs you may like to get a structure going. Also, you can read this article here on songstuff about that topic: http://www.songstuff.com/song-writing/article/song-form-overview/

 

If you have a musical plan in mind, disregard that. If you're just getting started I recommend checking out that link.

 

Edited by Just1L
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry, ignore my post. I didn't see that this was in the poet's corner. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

Your Ad Could Be Here



  • Current Donation Goals

    • Raised $1,040.00
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By continuing to use our site you indicate acceptance of our Terms Of Service: Terms of Use, our Privacy Policy: Privacy Policy, our Community Guidelines: Guidelines and our use of Cookies We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.