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Philjo

Love In The Cold

7 posts in this topic

Love In The Cold:

New York Winter '82
That first apartment me and you
We signed the lease as the Hudson froze
Central Park hid away in snow

Top-floor windows were thick with ice
Radiators more leaks than pipes
Just two weeks later we'd lost all heat
And Brooklyn landlords were hard to reach

(Ch)
But we had love in the cold
Yeah we'd have and we'd hold
Couldn't prise us apart
It was Spring in our hearts
Making love in the cold

We dreamt of flames in an open hearth
Watching soaps in our coats and scarves
Friends and family trudged along
Stamped and shivered then soon were gone

We’d wave them off and then bedward bound
Two was company - more a crowd
Young newlyweds seeking paradise
At minus plenty in fahrenheit

(Ch)
But we had love in the cold
Yeah we'd have and we'd hold
Couldn't prise us apart
It was Spring in our hearts
Making love in the cold

(Br)
We'd lie beneath a pile of blankets
Making plans for warmer days
Pushing strollers at Coney Island
Seemed another world away

(Ch)
But we had love in the cold
Yeah we'd have and we'd hold
Couldn't prise us apart
It was Spring in our hearts
Making love in the cold

(Out)
Love in the cold
We'd have and we'd hold
Lump of coal seemed like gold
Making love in the cold.....

© P. Jones


 

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2 hours ago, Philjo said:

Love In The Cold:

New York Winter '82
That first apartment me and you
We signed the lease as the Hudson froze
Central Park hid away in snow

Top-floor windows were thick with ice
Radiators more leaks than pipes
Just two weeks later we'd lost all heat
And Brooklyn landlords were hard to reach

(Ch)
But we had love in the cold
Yeah we'd have and we'd hold
Couldn't prise us apart
It was Spring in our hearts
Making love in the cold

We dreamt of flames in an open hearth
Watching soaps in our coats and scarves
Friends and family trudged along
Stamped and shivered then soon were gone

We’d wave them off and then bedward bound
Two was company - more a crowd
Young newlyweds seeking paradise
At minus plenty in fahrenheit

(Ch)
But we had love in the cold
Yeah we'd have and we'd hold
Couldn't prise us apart
It was Spring in our hearts
Making love in the cold

(Br)
We'd lie beneath a pile of blankets
Making plans for warmer days
Pushing strollers at Coney Island
Seemed another world away

(Ch)
But we had love in the cold
Yeah we'd have and we'd hold
Couldn't prise us apart
It was Spring in our hearts
Making love in the cold

(Out)
Love in the cold
We'd have and we'd hold
Lump of coal seemed like gold
Making love in the cold.....

© P. Jones


 

This is wonderful!  The details here are what makes the song!  I also like the subject and its unique.  Very clever wording, and great rhythm to it.  You've got stable lines and stable rhyming with this song which fits well with the sweetness of the topic. "Seemed another world away" brings to mind once again the idea of reminiscing in the mind of the listener at a very appropriate moment in the song--near the closing.  This song has a lovely sense to it.

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Hi,

Thanks for reading.

I had the first line on my mind for a while and then just kept going until I got to the end! And hopefully I stuck to the theme.

Cheers,

Phil.

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Again I like the general idea of the lyric, I like the opening lines... I do think some lines are a bit too technical .. (let´s say too documentary...) 

Like the line with the "Brookliyn Landlords" .. just by reading I can never tell if a lyric is good or not. It´s all about if it´s singable or not (but it is always just my opinion)... The first verse flows excellent. In the 2nd verse there is some trouble. If I combine the last lines of Verse 1 and 2

Central park hide away in snow
And Brooklyn landlords were hard to reach

Sound it out loud.
Cen-tral-park/hide-away/in-snow
And-Brook-lyn-land-loards/were-hard-ot reach... 

In a perfect world, the same rhythm can be used, so the 1st verse should match with the 2nd verse, structurally ... an example? 

Mor-ning-has-brok-en
Sweet-the-rain´s-new-fall
Mine-is-the-sun-light

 

See? Same rhythm... so the composer/singer can easily use the same melody. Sure, there are examples when you would like to use something else, most of the times, when the music is already composed or you have a tune in your head or you just don´t care about these things, like I do... but I understand you are a Lyric-writer, so it could be possible that you will need a partner for a Co-writer.. and finding a partner is easier, when everything is in good structure :)

JUST MY 2 CENT

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The two lines before the choruses provide a lift into the chorus. It all fits the way i sing it (badly!). You have done well to spot the difference in flow.

Their landlords were quick to take their rent and deposit but slow to respond to requests for repairs. Once I got them cold I had to keep them cold!

Cheers,

Phil.

 

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Posted (edited)

On 6/13/2017 at 1:07 AM, Philjo said:

New York Winter '82
That first apartment me and you
We signed the lease as the Hudson froze
Central Park hid away in snow

Very good intro.  You set the scene with a minimum of words, sort of like:

"Bus stop/Wet day/She's there/I say"

Edited by Patty Lakamp

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On 6/13/2017 at 1:07 AM, Philjo said:

Top-floor windows were thick with ice
Radiators more leaks than pipes
Just two weeks later we'd lost all heat
And Brooklyn landlords were hard to reach

I'd take "were" out of the last line to better match the last line of V1

On 6/13/2017 at 3:28 AM, Pahchisme Plaid said:

Young newlyweds seeking paradise
At minus plenty in fahrenheit

Creative imagery and interesting rhyme!

 

On 6/13/2017 at 3:28 AM, Pahchisme Plaid said:

We'd lie beneath a pile of blankets
Making plans for warmer days
Pushing strollers at Coney Island
Seemed another world away

Something hit me wrong here.  Maybe it's the verb tenses or message inconsistency: They're making plans for warmer days; they're planning a family; and then comes  "SEEMED another world away."  I was hoping for a line that would maybe end in "someday" to tie in with future plans.  Past-tense "seemed" feels counter to what's going on.

 

On 6/13/2017 at 3:28 AM, Pahchisme Plaid said:

Love in the cold
We'd have and we'd hold
Lump of coal seemed like gold
Making love in the cold.....

Lump of coal seemed like gold.....very nice

 

Good job, Philjo!--Forgive me getting the sources of the quotes mixed up!  

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