• Announcements

    • Songstuff

      New Chat App   06/02/2017

      We have a new chat app available. You will need to sign up for it. You can pick up the invite link at the top of your member hub page:   http://forums.songstuff.com/member/hub/   Remember to use your Songstuff registered email and user name when you sign up! Using the invite link will automatically add you to the Songstuff chat channel.
MonoStone

Circle Around (Plus NEW VERSION)

31 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

Hello, I'm looking for any feedback on this one as it is so far. I keep thinking of things to change and I only did it yesterday so I've not really had time to let it settle enough to even know whether it's good or bad... Anything you want to say will be useful.

 

Thanks

1st version - 

https://soundcloud.com/monostone-1/circlearound02/s-LC8Gq

 
I"ve done a second version now...better? Worse? - 

 

From the mountains to the forest

You are lost out there in the rain

When the cold wind blows

You’ll sell your souls

For a flame

 

We have left a trail of sugar

For the faithful in the fog

If you follow the blades that glitter

And the sound of love

We’ll turn you on

 

Hey little lambs

Follow the sound

Hey little lambs

Green as the ground

Holding hands 

We’re singing life as we 

Circle around

 

Giant sunflowers out of season

Light the forest road

And the music on the breeze

Is bringing the sheep back home

Edited by MonoStone
2 people like this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dek - lots of really nice sounds on this one and the mix is sounding okay so far, nice separation. Really like the verse parts, but not feeling the chorus. I don't know if it's that it is so much of a departure from the verse, which sounds very electronic for you, but the chorus has an almost 60's vibe to it (well to me anyway). The lyrics on the chorus don't work for me either and again, I feel the verse lyrics are strong, but the chorus doesn't feel like it's from the same song.

 

Its a really good start and I think you should invest the time in this one, but wait and see what others think, as you know what my style and taste is like.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I find the synths around 0:25 to be a little too icey.. maybe if you just did quarter notes or blended them in more. 

You sing this song differently than your other songs and I actually really like it. 

I actually like the flute thingy you use around 1:40.. it gives a Beatles feel and/or some kind of Mongolian thing... I'd say it's pivotal to the song and I wasn't expecting it

The tubey synth that's constantly keeping a pulse kind of distracts me at points, but it definitely has a place. Maybe if it had less attack? 

2:50 is absolutely beautiful and I was hoping you'd go about it this way.. and you did not disappoint :)

Contrary to Richard, I think the chorus fits very well with the verse... one of your best yet. However, I do think that the icey synth you use doesn't allow for a clean transition. This is only a hypothesis and would love to hear it without that noise/another noise.

This is really good Dek.. I would love to hear it finished.

It's also interesting to see how you're changing from your EP :D! Keep it up!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

Thanks Richard and Jenn, I'll see how it sounds to me after a break. I guess I succeeded with the 60s feel to the chorus then... there is a reason for it and it ties in with the lyric but I'm not going to explain it as it should either work or...not.

 

Jenn, I'm not sure what the 'icey synth' is. I didn't use any tubey or icey synth type sounds but maybe something else sounds like that in the mix. I have some choral vocal sounds in there, maybe that is what you mean?

 

 

Edited by MonoStone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

It comes in right at 0:17 and is on the left side and at 0:25, it's that high pitched noise.....:unsure:

 

and the tubey one.. is keeping like a "ding dong" "ding dong".. and is extremely to the left

hahahah sorry!

Edited by Jenn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
11 minutes ago, Jenn said:

It comes in right at 0:17 and is on the left side and at 0:25, it's that high pitched noise.....:unsure:

 

and the tubey one.. is keeping like a "ding dong" "ding dong".. and is extremely to the left

hahahah sorry!

 

Ah ok, the taped strings sound. I like that one but we'll see what I think after a time... :)  I find it hard to judge so soon. I might hate the whole thing after a week.

 

Still not figured out what the ding dong you mean is...but that penny might drop in time too :) 

 

Thanks Jenn.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

P.S Jenn, thanks for noticing and liking my different voice. I'm not sure I like it yet but the tune made me sing that way.

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh.. very rich sound, you've got going.. to the extent that I'm paying more attention to everything else more than your singing :blink:. Currently, it feels to me that the music arrangement is the primary focus and the singing is more of a filler. Your different sounding voice is blending nicely but is not taking control of the song. But that could in itself could be the music format, if that is what you wanted to achieve. I guess I prefer the more "traditional" format :)

 

P.S. : I agree with Jenn regarding the "icy synth". It's not particularly "icy" all the way but there's a particular section where it tends to veer towards pitchy-ness... and again all my attention goes there, waiting for the rebound.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The icy-sounding synth is probably the thing I like - but then you know my preferences when it comes to music.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

Oh.. very rich sound, you've got going.. to the extent that I'm paying more attention to everything else more than your singing :blink:. Currently, it feels to me that the music arrangement is the primary focus and the singing is more of a filler. Your different sounding voice is blending nicely but is not taking control of the song. But that could in itself could be the music format, if that is what you wanted to achieve. I guess I prefer the more "traditional" format :)

 

P.S. : I agree with Jenn regarding the "icy synth". It's not particularly "icy" all the way but there's a particular section where it tends to veer towards pitchy-ness... and again all my attention goes there, waiting for the rebound.

 

53 minutes ago, Richard Tracey said:

The icy-sounding synth is probably the thing I like - but then you know my preferences when it comes to music.

Interesting. The 'icey synth' does deliberately get kind of pitchy which was intended to make things feel uneasy...but maybe that didn't work well. 

 

And I put a lot more time into the music on this than the vocal so you're right about that too, Sreyashi.

 

Maybe it'll turn out that this isn't working yet... Or might not at all... I wonder what I'll think after a few days :) 

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is good quality stuff, Dek. At first I thought you got someone else to sing this song! The drums sound really cool, sounds like hip hop drums.

 

My only issue is that I can't make out most of the words that you're singing in the chorus.

 

That is all from me. Really enjoyed listening to this!

 

Good luck with it,

 

Ken

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)

9 hours ago, MonoStone said:

Hello, I'm looking for any feedback on this one as it is so far. I keep thinking of things to change and I only did it yesterday so I've not really had time to let it settle enough to even know whether it's good or bad... Anything you want to say will be useful.

 

 

I think it's definitely good or bad. :) 

 

P.S.  Could be your best bass line yet.  Diggin' it!

 

P.P.S.  There's a Bee Gee's quality to this, and that's a compliment - for real.

Edited by HoboSage

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, ImKeN said:

This is good quality stuff, Dek. At first I thought you got someone else to sing this song! The drums sound really cool, sounds like hip hop drums.

 

My only issue is that I can't make out most of the words that you're singing in the chorus.

 

That is all from me. Really enjoyed listening to this!

 

Good luck with it,

 

Ken

 

Thanks Ken, yeah well ... I did the music first and I started out thinking I'd aim for trip hop, but ended up wandering away... but it still does use hip hop beats, mixed with some Indian stuff. And... at first I thought I would get someone else to sing it, seriously, because I felt like my usual voice wouldn't work for it. I agree it's hard to make out the words in the chorus... it was tricky to sing.

 

Glad you liked it.

2 hours ago, HoboSage said:

 

 

I think it's definitely good or bad. :) 

 

P.S.  Could be your best bass line yet.  Diggin' it!

 

P.P.S.  There's a Bee Gee's quality to this, and that's a compliment - for real.

 

Bee Gee's... because of my attempt at falsetto singing or because of the tune? The chorus was originally intended to be sung entirely falsetto, I just didn't think my attempt was strong enough to work alone, so mixed it in a bit, but there's still a WannaBee Gee in there.

 

Recently my wife accused me of looking like Barry Gibb (I think she meant circa 1977 but that may be wishful thinking)...sadly she didn't mean it as a compliment...

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The soundscape hangs together really nicely on this one. Really good choice of sounds there. Yes, the synth on the left is icy-sounding; if there was a polar opposite to a warm Rhodes, that synth wouldn't be far off the mark. But it fits the tune well.

 

I like the vocals, and the chorus is good. 

 

The vibe that the synths create, together with the slightly hip-hop sounding beat, reminds me of early 2000s Dido. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I really dig the song overall. I'll leave any production critique to those more qualified but fwiw I really like how it came together. I do think the chorus could benefit by having a slightly different treatment, it seems to blend too smoothly with the verse and it deserves a more distinct presence, imho. I've heard the BeeGees reference but to me, from a melody and "feel" (whatever the f that means), I can hear late 80's-90s Bowie. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Will Sketches said:

The soundscape hangs together really nicely on this one. Really good choice of sounds there. Yes, the synth on the left is icy-sounding; if there was a polar opposite to a warm Rhodes, that synth wouldn't be far off the mark. But it fits the tune well.

 

I like the vocals, and the chorus is good. 

 

The vibe that the synths create, together with the slightly hip-hop sounding beat, reminds me of early 2000s Dido. 

Thanks Will, all the 'synth' sounds in this are from a mellotron...so tape strings, flute, guitar... I didn't want it to sound typically 'synthy', so maybe I failed in that respect. And maybe I will revisit the choices, because I agree it sounds quite nice together but ... maybe just 'nice'. (Can't stand Dido, so I need to be far away from that). 

 

38 minutes ago, kenapayne said:

I really dig the song overall. I'll leave any production critique to those more qualified but fwiw I really like how it came together. I do think the chorus could benefit by having a slightly different treatment, it seems to blend too smoothly with the verse and it deserves a more distinct presence, imho. I've heard the BeeGees reference but to me, from a melody and "feel" (whatever the f that means), I can hear late 80's-90s Bowie. 

 

Thanks Kena, I'm glad you like it. I know what you mean about that smooth transition... I think I can solve that. I'll take Bowie over Dido any day ;)  But neither are really what was in my mind. I think I know where I went wrong though.... I tamed the massive reverb I originally had on the chorus vocals, and I think it probably needs it back. It should have been more Flaming Lips featuring Barry Gibb kinda thing (well, in my head anyway ;) )...  I think I made it all just too 'normal'... 

 

Thanks for the feedback both of you. 

 

Dek

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just done another version. If anyone has time I'd be grateful for any thoughts on the track as it stands alone and Vs the first version.

 

https://soundcloud.com/monostone-1/circlearound05/s-2ovOh

 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the bass should be ever so slightly louder in the new mix. Ah the chorus sounds beautiful Dek. And you even lowered the icy synth and I don't mind it as much anymore. I would pan the mellotron to the left I think.. it competes with that other synth you have going on that's similar in color. Unless if you want them to sound like they blend. At 3:20 the backing vocals could be a little louder too, they get a little lost. Just what I hear!

 

Damn I love your stuff so much... 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow... that's a world of a change! And I guess the tweaks that brought about this were minimal. I'm definitely listening to you singing now and as I soak up the rich musical arrangement, I also take notice of how obscure your lyrics are (yup.. that much of a change)... the trance is working well :)

Another thing that I notice is that out of the many percussion sounds you've used, the tabla has been kept to the left. It has a sharper timbre than the others so along with the now less-than-icy-and-better-sounding synth, there seems to be a little more stress on the left side (especially when the vocals are not running). Wonder if you hear the same thing...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, Jenn said:

I think the bass should be ever so slightly louder in the new mix. Ah the chorus sounds beautiful Dek. And you even lowered the icy synth and I don't mind it as much anymore. I would pan the mellotron to the left I think.. it competes with that other synth you have going on that's similar in color. Unless if you want them to sound like they blend. At 3:20 the backing vocals could be a little louder too, they get a little lost. Just what I hear!

 

Damn I love your stuff so much... 

 

 

1 hour ago, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

Wow... that's a world of a change! And I guess the tweaks that brought about this were minimal. I'm definitely listening to you singing now and as I soak up the rich musical arrangement, I also take notice of how obscure your lyrics are (yup.. that much of a change)... the trance is working well :)

Another thing that I notice is that out of the many percussion sounds you've used, the tabla has been kept to the left. It has a sharper timbre than the others so along with the now less-than-icy-and-better-sounding synth, there seems to be a little more stress on the left side (especially when the vocals are not running). Wonder if you hear the same thing...

Just a thought... I could do with some singalong vocals for the chorus... Both of you interested? Not fancy vocals... Just singing along as you would in a crowd. 

 

No worries if not... Just an idea. I'll be grateful if you do... 

1 person likes this

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, MonoStone said:

 

Just a thought... I could do with some singalong vocals for the chorus... Both of you interested? Not fancy vocals... Just singing along as you would in a crowd. 

 

No worries if not... Just an idea. I'll be grateful if you do... 

Oh you know I would love that!! I'll try to get them over to you sometime this week if I can!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Jenn!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like that bass descending down at the end of the chorus as it transitions into the flute solo, and again a few times  in the"as we circle" part. I really enjoy the chorus, more so than the verses. In fact, I think the verse melody is a bit dry and somewhat uninteresting -- like I'm waiting to get to the chorus. But the production is so wonderful, that it forgives and enhances what would be a lack-luster verse for me. 

 

I love this song from the first chorus on. Absolutely love it. You are very skilled!

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 minutes ago, emilyandersonmusic said:

I like that bass descending down at the end of the chorus as it transitions into the flute solo, and again a few times  in the"as we circle" part. I really enjoy the chorus, more so than the verses. In fact, I think the verse melody is a bit dry and somewhat uninteresting -- like I'm waiting to get to the chorus. But the production is so wonderful, that it forgives and enhances what would be a lack-luster verse for me. 

 

I love this song from the first chorus on. Absolutely love it. You are very skilled!

 

 

Thanks Emily, yeah I like that bass bit too :) I think the wobble helps... 

 

You might be right about the verses... I'm feeling they drag a bit. I might try some other ideas before this is finished. I feel like the verse melody could be busier... We'll see...

 

Thanks for the kind words.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 6/19/2017 at 1:08 PM, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

Another thing that I notice is that out of the many percussion sounds you've used, the tabla has been kept to the left. It has a sharper timbre than the others so along with the now less-than-icy-and-better-sounding synth, there seems to be a little more stress on the left side (especially when the vocals are not running). Wonder if you hear the same thing...

 

I agree that percussion sound on just the left side is distracting.  I would bring its volume down some and center it, with maybe a wide stereo width setting if its a stereo track, and/or maybe a wide-spread stereo delayed left/right echo further back, and I might then have dryer right and left shakers playing off each other.  I also thought the flute sound near the end, since it's essentially a lead instrument at that time, should be a bit more upfront.  Otherwise, I think it all sounds great - or "top" as you say. :) Good Stuff, Bro.

 

 

Edited by HoboSage

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
12 hours ago, HoboSage said:

 

I agree that percussion sound on just the left side is distracting.  I would bring its volume down some and center it, with maybe a wide stereo width setting if its a stereo track, and/or maybe a wide-spread stereo delayed left/right echo further back, and I might then have dryer right and left shakers playing off each other.  I also thought the flute sound near the end, since it's essentially a lead instrument at that time, should be a bit more upfront.  Otherwise, I think it all sounds great - or "top" as you say. :) Good Stuff, Bro.

 

 

Thanks David, I will address those things before it's done. I'm still deciding whether or not I like the verse melody/vocal enough....

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

very eclectic track! can identify the influences mentioned by previous comments!

 

I find that this song wasn't immediately accessible, i thought its because all tracks (percussion, synths, and that bassline!) are pretty interesting, and initially there isn't a centre of gravity to hold onto for me. its not necessarily a tradeoff, but i felt there is a lot of substance in the song and high relistenability. 

 

midway into the song, it struck me that i really like it. that moment for me was at 2:20 entering the second chorus. the vocals in the chorus rallied all the instruments together.

my favourite part of the song is the 2nd half of the chorus (slightly beatlesque!). 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 MonoStone,  I think this is a very cool song. I love how you've achieved a very open and airy feel to your mix.    Great work and love you voice.

 

take care, moptop

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, MonoStone said:

Thanks David, I will address those things before it's done. I'm still deciding whether or not I like the verse melody/vocal enough....

 

I kind of like the verses as they are... sounding subtle but smooth against the New Age-y vibe. It might not sound interesting as a stand-alone piece but it seems to be doing very good teamwork with the music arrangement... just my thoughts :)

 

If you're still looking, I can send you a clip of me doing the singalong for the chorus. Do you prefer a full voice or falsetto for that?

Edited by Sreyashi Mukherjee

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
7 hours ago, damonkoh said:

very eclectic track! can identify the influences mentioned by previous comments!

 

I find that this song wasn't immediately accessible, i thought its because all tracks (percussion, synths, and that bassline!) are pretty interesting, and initially there isn't a centre of gravity to hold onto for me. its not necessarily a tradeoff, but i felt there is a lot of substance in the song and high relistenability. 

 

midway into the song, it struck me that i really like it. that moment for me was at 2:20 entering the second chorus. the vocals in the chorus rallied all the instruments together.

my favourite part of the song is the 2nd half of the chorus (slightly beatlesque!). 

 

 

 

 

7 hours ago, moptop said:

 MonoStone,  I think this is a very cool song. I love how you've achieved a very open and airy feel to your mix.    Great work and love you voice.

 

take care, moptop

 

Thanks both of you, I really appreciate it. Very glad you liked it.

 

Dek

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.