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Highs and Lows

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Ray888    159

I am now looking at the lyric/melody as a whole and am happy that you dumped the facebook idea which I felt did not add anything to an otherwise potentially great song. It's definitely improved since the first draft.

I think that it will be stronger if you change the "You" to "We" and "Our" so that you include the singer in the equation. 

 

Highs and Lows

© 2017 Gary Yeomans

 

Verse 1:

how can we know what its like to be up  

If we have forever...... been down (A little change in word/melody might be nice)

Contrast is all it is

 

Verse 2:

How can we know what its like to be right

If we have neverever........been wrong

Contradiction is what that is

 

Chorus:

Highs and lows

Life ebbs and flows

Highs and lows

We know we’ve all had some of those

That's the way life rolls

Not gonna drown if we swim with the flow  after all it's only highs and lows If you use drown it may be more appropriate to use swim

Highs and lows"

 

Bridge: I think that this bridge could be a lot stronger if you weren't so fixed on the social network idea. But hey, it's your call.

"The colour scheme of the social scene 

Has painted your emotions grey

No one can be radiant and brilliant all the time 

All the time

 

Chorus:

Highs and lows

Life ebbs and flows

Highs and lows

We know we’ve all had some of those

That's the way life rolls

Not gonna drown if we swim with the flow  after all it's only highs and lows 

Highs and lows"

 

Verse 3

How can we know what its like to be loved

If our together means alone May be nice and it also matches the melody in verse one if you use `forever`.

Counterpoint is all it is 

 

Chorus:

Highs and lows

Life ebbs and flows

Highs and lows

You know we’ve all had some of those

That's the way life rolls

Not gonna drown if we swim with the flow  after all it's only highs and lows

Highs and lows"

Edited by Ray888

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Skin    254

Just a thought me ol sparrow!

 

Highs and lows

And the what evers

Highs and lows...thinking of opposites.. Head to toes?

Some days have been so much better..(or similar)

Thats the way life goes

Not gonna harm you to let it flow after all it’s only high or low or what ever

Highs and lows

 

Not Sure of the head to toes but was trying to break the pattern, slightly flippent with the what evers or not? 

Edited by Skin

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I really like the theme but I liked it more when it was less wordy... just a glance and it sang very easily... the words reverberated well, too. Except for the need for a few minor changes, I liked that version more..

Personal preferences :)

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snabbu    436
5 hours ago, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

I really like the theme but I liked it more when it was less wordy... just a glance and it sang very easily... the words reverberated well, too. Except for the need for a few minor changes, I liked that version more..

Personal preferences :)

Thanks Sreyashi

 

Cheers

 

Gary

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snabbu    436
15 hours ago, Ray888 said:

I am now looking at the lyric/melody as a whole and am happy that you dumped the facebook idea which I felt did not add anything to an otherwise potentially great song. It's definitely improved since the first draft.

I think that it will be stronger if you change the "You" to "We" and "Our" so that you include the singer in the equation. 

 

Highs and Lows

© 2017 Gary Yeomans

 

Verse 1:

how can we know what its like to be up  

If we have forever...... been down (A little change in word/melody might be nice)

Contrast is all it is

 

Verse 2:

How can we know what its like to be right

If we have neverever........been wrong

Contradiction is what that is

 

Chorus:

Highs and lows

Life ebbs and flows

Highs and lows

We know we’ve all had some of those

That's the way life rolls

Not gonna drown if we swim with the flow  after all it's only highs and lows If you use drown it may be more appropriate to use swim

Highs and lows"

 

Bridge: I think that this bridge could be a lot stronger if you weren't so fixed on the social network idea. But hey, it's your call.

"The colour scheme of the social scene 

Has painted your emotions grey

No one can be radiant and brilliant all the time 

All the time

 

Chorus:

Highs and lows

Life ebbs and flows

Highs and lows

We know we’ve all had some of those

That's the way life rolls

Not gonna drown if we swim with the flow  after all it's only highs and lows 

Highs and lows"

 

Verse 3

How can we know what its like to be loved

If our together means alone May be nice and it also matches the melody in verse one if you use `forever`.

Counterpoint is all it is 

 

Chorus:

Highs and lows

Life ebbs and flows

Highs and lows

You know we’ve all had some of those

That's the way life rolls

Not gonna drown if we swim with the flow  after all it's only highs and lows

Highs and lows"

Hi Ray

I am now working on melody and chord edits.

Im about half way through that.

I am pretty settled on the lyric now I don't want to change the voice or change the rhymes in there.

 

Cheers

 

Gary

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Ray888    159

 

Ok Gary, I've always been a bit of a perfectionist so I have a tendency to probably look a lot deeper into a lyric than most.

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Patty Lakamp    41

I really like the latest chorus, especially the melody of "after all, it's only highs and lows."

And of course, a great, memorable voice.

 

Will you post a final version of the lyric?

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snabbu    436
On 16/07/2017 at 2:01 AM, Patty Lakamp said:

I really like the latest chorus, especially the melody of "after all, it's only highs and lows."

And of course, a great, memorable voice.

 

Will you post a final version of the lyric?

Yes I will, I spent another few hours on it today. I want to listen with fresh ears tomorrow to decide if it's finished. 

I have extended the end by four bars, fixed the missing esses, fixed the piano playing ( sustain pedal) tweaked the harmonies like a 3rd above on high and an under harmony on Low. So little stuff just polishing. I've checked the melody and the chord sequence and there's nothing I can see to do there. Unless I edit the chorus lyric. The reason being to get a high falsetto note in the back end of the chorus, which ups the hook, so tomorrow will tell. 

 

Cheers

 

Gary

Edited by snabbu
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tomcollins    512

Hey gary.

Read this a few times . like where its going ! 

Simplicity you know me!

Think bugs working out fine.

Just spun threw comments and seen download. Which for me the chorus should stop before the last set of highs and lows till the end then throw in what you have. Couple reasons as you hit in length . but it also breaks it up a bit.not that going into the that doesn't just seems a bit long. 

Good to see and here you again on here mate!

Off to make a dime in a dollar world.

Will come back and read comments a but more

Rock on!#

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