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crystalsuzy    85

I guys, Here's one that I've been working on for a bit, but I could use some fresh ears :unsure:

I'm still working on the mix, so please feel free to give me some advice...in any area :o
I know there are a lot of effects on the vocals...can you understand them for the most part?


Sorry I haven't been around much this year. I've been dealing with some serious health issues :(


https://soundcloud.com/crystalsuzy/cell-phone-junkie

 

I never leave home without my cell phone
It’s a part of me now, like an udder on a cow
It’s gotta be with me, both day and night
Or something feels wrong; nothing feels quite right

 

I’m a cell phone junkie, dut da da dut da!
I’m a cell phone junkie, dut da da dut da!

 

We’re going camping, ya, me and my friends
We’re gonna build a fire, so that we can send
Secret messages, across the flames
Text gossiping's, the name of the game

 

the summer's here and were gonna have fun

 

No one talks; no one hears
We stare at our phones, and drink our beer
We can text mean things, about a friend
But they don’t see it, so we don’t offend

 

Ya, it's summer time and were gonna have fun
Me and my phone enjoying the sun

We’re cell phone junkies, dut da da dut da!
We’re cell phone junkies, dut da da dut da!

 

Off to the beach, where we can suntan
With earplugs in, we’re lost in cyber land
Suddenly we feel like, we’re in a frying pan
Now we all look, like a red lobster-man!

 

In cyber space, we communicate
Whether fishing or swimming, in the middle of the lake
Our phones are with us, no matter what we do
Taking lots of pictures, and self-ies too

 

Walking through trails, takes a lot of skill
Starring at the screen, we can take a spill
Sometimes we’ll walk, right into a swamp
But with the touch of a button, help is prompt

 

We’re cell phone junkies, dut da da dut da!
We’re cell phone junkies, dut da da dut da!

 

We can surf the net, no matter where we go
Listen to our music, and watch our favorite shows
If there’s a fire ban, we watch it on our phones
With virtual reality; we stay in the zone

 

It's summer time and the weather is hot
We swim in the lake and smoke lots of pot!
Cellphone junkies...sell phone junckles
Da da da dat da dat da....
Ya, were cell phone junkies, dut da da dut da!
Ya, were cell phone junkies, dut da da dut da!
Da da da dat da dat da.....

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I can see this song in a weird indie movie or Wes Anderson movie. The song kinda feels jumbled at times and a little all over the place. Not sure if that's what you were going for since it seems like a hustle and bustle of visiting a bunch of places on vacation. I think maybe if you just clean it up a bit maybe take some stuff out and smooth out the transitions a bit more the song would really be able to breath. I like the idea of the song and I think its a cool concept. Keep it up!

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crystalsuzy    85
8 hours ago, Sunni Meringue said:

I can see this song in a weird indie movie or Wes Anderson movie. The song kinda feels jumbled at times and a little all over the place. Not sure if that's what you were going for since it seems like a hustle and bustle of visiting a bunch of places on vacation. I think maybe if you just clean it up a bit maybe take some stuff out and smooth out the transitions a bit more the song would really be able to breath. I like the idea of the song and I think its a cool concept. Keep it up!

Thanks for listening a leaving a comment Sunni. This song probably take a couple of listens to get what's going on. It is suppose to feel hectic and all over the map, with time changes, etc. It's about cell phone junkies after all, and I was going for a crazy B52 type vibe...but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea. I know I tend to go a little overboard and get too much going on, so thanks for your suggestions :hippy:

Edited by crystalsuzy

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Jenn    246

This is such a fun song.... At some points there is a high pitched ringing

I especially love the little like..... YuHoooo noise in the back...

It reminds me of Kate Nash if you know her.. and the B52's too!

 

-----Off to the beach, where we can suntan
With earplugs in, we’re lost in cyber land
Suddenly we feel like, we’re in a frying pan
Now we all look, like a red lobster-man!

 

We can surf the net, no matter where we go
Listen to our music, and watch our favorite shows
If there’s a fire ban, we watch it on our phones
With virtual reality; we stay in the zone----

 

These bits sound a little off... just not lined up perfectly. Which does make sense that it should be hectic, but it's a little too much on the ears right now.. And can still sound great cleaned up a little

 

 

But I think you've got a really fun song here

 

 

I also hope everything goes better with your health.....:unsure: really glad to see you're still making music!

Edited by Jenn

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IronKnee    23

I like it.....lots of fun......gotta have fun, crystal ;-)

-Tom

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MonoStone    904

Hi Suzie, I like it very much. It's hard to critique though... you have your own sound and style and it just works for you. 

 

Maybe tighten up where you come in with 'we're cell phone junkies' it feels a fraction late, but then again your style makes that less important, and maybe it's even part of the style :)

 

Mix wise... I'd like to hear the surf guitar (what I think of as 'surf' anyway) more upfront, and maybe actually bring all the music up a bit so that the vocal sits in... but that's just a matter of preference.

 

You operate outside of the norm... so all that matters is that people like it, and people do!!! :) I find all your music is good for the soul, there's a feeling of genuine goodness to it rather than deliberately being quirky for attention...it's very authentic. Keep them coming! Put an album out! 

 

 

 

 

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Matthew76    232

Every time I discover a new piece from you, Suzy, I always think it will be a weird and cool experiment to listen...

And this one is really weird and cool to listen^^...

Like this madness in your stuff... The singing works very well with the whole atmosphere of the tune...

Crazy and fun... Well done for this!

 

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crystalsuzy    85
On 2017-07-05 at 4:30 PM, Jenn said:

This is such a fun song.... At some points there is a high pitched ringing

I especially love the little like..... YuHoooo noise in the back...

It reminds me of Kate Nash if you know her.. and the B52's too!

 

-----Off to the beach, where we can suntan
With earplugs in, we’re lost in cyber land
Suddenly we feel like, we’re in a frying pan
Now we all look, like a red lobster-man!

 

We can surf the net, no matter where we go
Listen to our music, and watch our favorite shows
If there’s a fire ban, we watch it on our phones
With virtual reality; we stay in the zone----

 

These bits sound a little off... just not lined up perfectly. Which does make sense that it should be hectic, but it's a little too much on the ears right now.. And can still sound great cleaned up a little

 

 

But I think you've got a really fun song here

 

 

I also hope everything goes better with your health.....:unsure: really glad to see you're still making music!

thanks so much Jenn...it's suppose to be a silly little fun song, so I'm glad you found it to be so :) I know some of Kate's songs, and I really like them, so thanks. Those two sections where the music speeds up, were the most difficult parts for me to sing, and I know I didn't nail them, but I'll keep working on them, because I know what you mean about it being a little too much to take in, especially if they're not lined up perfectly :unsure:

thanks for the well wishes fro my health...I'm slowly getting better :hippy:

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crystalsuzy    85
On 2017-07-05 at 9:03 PM, IronKnee said:

I like it.....lots of fun......gotta have fun, crystal ;-)

-Tom

Thanks Tom! Your right...gotta have fun and I certainly did with this one :hippy:

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Dallon426    29

I think it's really cool.  I like all the different sections.  I like the ska influences, I think the mix could be brighter sounding.  It sounds a bit muffled to me.  I love the parts where it speeds up!  It's got some really cool changes.! Nice!!!!!

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crystalsuzy    85
On 2017-07-06 at 2:33 AM, MonoStone said:

Hi Suzie, I like it very much. It's hard to critique though... you have your own sound and style and it just works for you. 

 

Maybe tighten up where you come in with 'we're cell phone junkies' it feels a fraction late, but then again your style makes that less important, and maybe it's even part of the style :)

 

Mix wise... I'd like to hear the surf guitar (what I think of as 'surf' anyway) more upfront, and maybe actually bring all the music up a bit so that the vocal sits in... but that's just a matter of preference.

 

You operate outside of the norm... so all that matters is that people like it, and people do!!! :) I find all your music is good for the soul, there's a feeling of genuine goodness to it rather than deliberately being quirky for attention...it's very authentic. Keep them coming! Put an album out! 

 

 

 

 

Thanks so much for your kind comments Dek :) That last comment about my stuff being very authentic and good for the soul, kind of brought tears to my eyes. That really means a lot to me, so thank you :heartpump:

I know my timing can be a little off sometimes, and I had quite a hard time with the chorus for some reason, but I will work on this one some more, cause it's not meant to be part of my style :rolleyes: LOL!  Mixing is not my forte either, so thanks for the heads up on the guitar and other instruments! I'll bring them up a bit. 

Maybe I'll put out an EP some day, but I'll have to get the tracks mastered first :hippy:

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Love the sarcasm created by the lyrics juxtaposed with the hectic-sounding arrangement. (that sounds way more pretentious than how I mean it to sound :) )

 

"It’s a part of me now, like an udder on a cow", seriously, LOL!

 

I like how you've managed to mix different musical styles. It works well, and adds to the sentiment of the lyrics -- i.e., the world's gone mad, running around frantically, carrying these devices with us wherever we go. I mean udders. LOL

 

I agree with what others have said about the mix.

 

Good stuff. I'm gonna have another listen!

 

Edited by Will Sketches

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MonoStone    904
6 hours ago, crystalsuzy said:

Maybe I'll put out an EP some day, but I'll have to get the tracks mastered first :hippy:

 

Nah... the quality of your mixes is fine. Maybe try a quick online Master if you want (like Landr) to see if it sounds better...but I think the sound quality in general just works for your music. It does not need to be perfect... some music needs a lot of polish in production/mastering...yours doesn't, because the slightly wonky, slightly lo-fi (for want of a better term) natural nature of it just works for you IMO. 

 

Put a bunch of songs together, do some crazy artwork for a cover, and call it an album :) I just think you should.

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starise    397

Wow. Certainly a very relevant song today. Almost everyone on the street is walking land looking at a cell lol. I love the retro sound this has. I think this is mainly the guitar and the vocal mix that makes it that way. I enjoy the uniqueness of your material. Always refreshing to listen to it.

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Fernando    39

Hi!

I loved it!

If I had to criticize something, it'd be that there are too many transitions between rhythms and melodies, it is very fragmented. Nevertheless, I think it is kind of your trademark, and it works!

I think this piece is designed to be a scene in a broadway musical, lol.

;)

Edited by Fernando

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Nelson Z    19

Add me to the praise: It's so fun and creative! I love it.

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HoboSage    1,990

Hey, I don't have to complain about a piezo crappy-sounding acoustic! :)  Fun tune.  Many of the megaphone spoken-word vocals are hard to make out, and in the phrase "We can text mean things," I can't hear "mean things" at all.

 

Hope you're feeling better.

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crystalsuzy    85
On 7/6/2017 at 5:33 AM, Matthew76 said:

Every time I discover a new piece from you, Suzy, I always think it will be a weird and cool experiment to listen...

And this one is really weird and cool to listen^^...

Like this madness in your stuff... The singing works very well with the whole atmosphere of the tune...

Crazy and fun... Well done for this!

 

Sorry I'm a little behind in thanking you for for very kind review Matthew, but I've had pneumonia :o I love creating these weird and crazy tracks, but I'm going to surprise you sometime, with a completely normal song, and I hope you won't be disappointed.:rolleyes: I have to do one once in a while, just so I don't forget how :hippy:

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crystalsuzy    85
On 7/16/2017 at 4:33 AM, Dallon426 said:

I think it's really cool.  I like all the different sections.  I like the ska influences, I think the mix could be brighter sounding.  It sounds a bit muffled to me.  I love the parts where it speeds up!  It's got some really cool changes.! Nice!!!!!

thanks for listening and I'm glad you liked this track, Dallon :) It's definitely suppose to have that B52 vibe and the ska feel. I'm working on the mix, so hopefully I can brighten things up a little :hippy:

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crystalsuzy    85
On 7/18/2017 at 11:43 PM, Will Sketches said:

Love the sarcasm created by the lyrics juxtaposed with the hectic-sounding arrangement. (that sounds way more pretentious than how I mean it to sound :) )

 

"It’s a part of me now, like an udder on a cow", seriously, LOL!

 

I like how you've managed to mix different musical styles. It works well, and adds to the sentiment of the lyrics -- i.e., the world's gone mad, running around frantically, carrying these devices with us wherever we go. I mean udders. LOL

 

I agree with what others have said about the mix.

 

Good stuff. I'm gonna have another listen!

 

thanks for the kudos on the lyrics Will :) I was really pushing it with "udder on a cow" :rolleyes:

"the world's gone mad, running around frantically, carrying these devices with us wherever we go"...that just nails it! LOL!

thanks for the thumbs up on the different styles as well...I'm never quite sure if it works :hippy:

 

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crystalsuzy    85
On 7/19/2017 at 7:37 PM, starise said:

Wow. Certainly a very relevant song today. Almost everyone on the street is walking land looking at a cell lol. I love the retro sound this has. I think this is mainly the guitar and the vocal mix that makes it that way. I enjoy the uniqueness of your material. Always refreshing to listen to it.

thanks so much starise :) this song had been brewing for at least a year, and one that I definitely had to write :o I have a cell phone junkie son, so I know first hand the insanity of it all :rolleyes:

"I enjoy the uniqueness of your material. Always refreshing to listen to it"...Thanks....means so much to me :hippy:

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Oswlek    87

This is terrific.  Unique and you.  I can imagine it setting an ironically positive backdrop to a graphic scene in a Quentin Tarantino movie. :)

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snabbu    439

It's very idiosyncratic and a lot of fun. Your style feels to me like musical theatre writing.

 

Cheers

 

Gary

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crystalsuzy    85
On 7/19/2017 at 8:33 PM, Fernando said:

Hi!

I loved it!

If I had to criticize something, it'd be that there are too many transitions between rhythms and melodies, it is very fragmented. Nevertheless, I think it is kind of your trademark, and it works!

I think this piece is designed to be a scene in a broadway musical, lol.

;)

Glad you liked it Fernando, despite how fragmented it is :o That was the intention, and I think you're right...I should write a Broadway musical to go along with it :hippy:

 

On 7/21/2017 at 4:40 PM, Nelson Z said:

Add me to the praise: It's so fun and creative! I love it.

Thanks Nelson...means a lot :hippy:

 

On 7/24/2017 at 4:09 AM, HoboSage said:

Hey, I don't have to complain about a piezo crappy-sounding acoustic! :)  Fun tune.  Many of the megaphone spoken-word vocals are hard to make out, and in the phrase "We can text mean things," I can't hear "mean things" at all.

 

Hope you're feeling better.

LOL! That's why I wrote this one without an acoustic:D I'm working on the "mean things" as we speak...it is hard to get clarity with the phone effect, but I just thought it was so perfect for this :rolleyes:

Slowly but surely I'm starting to feel a little better! thanks :hippy:

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