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Tony00237    8

So um yeah, this is my first attempt at songwriting and im not sure if its any good but here. Thx in advance for any help!

 

 

Lonely boy with a guitar

Sitting on the corner

With your beat up blue jeans

Who you singing to

 

Lonely Boy playing the blues

How far will you go

Oooh lonely boy

Oooh Lonely boy

 

Lonely boy on the street

Keep playing them blues

You're going to be a star someday

Shining bright like a diamond

 

Lonely boy papa told you no

But here you are guitar and all

Lonely boy making a dream

With nothing but a guitar

 

Play them Blues, play them loud (4)

 

Lonely boy with a dream

Playing them blues for the people now

He playing them blues all day and night

He aint dreaming now

 

Lord may give him his soul

But he found his muse

Now he playing them blues

All night long

 

Lonely Boy playing the blues

How far will you go

Oooh lonely boy

Oooh Lonely boy

 

Signed to the company

Soul and all

Making his way playing

That dream


 

Traded in that old six string

For a shiny new one and a band

Playing them blues for the masses now

Sing them Blues Sing em loud

 

Lonely boy on the stage

You’re diamond now

Play them blues

Play them proud

 

Lonely Boy playing the blues

How far did you go

Oooh lonely boy

Oooh Lonely boy

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Blupa    46

Hi Tony,

 

Okey I'm guessing it's a blues ;)

 

The blues is NOT about someone's sucsess, it's about misery, broken hearts, low life, slavery, etc. It's hard to believe your story about a 'lonely boy' - making millions - still playing the blues and feeling sorry for himself.

 

It's your first lyrics, so you shouldn't feel bad about it. Read the lyrics of your fav artists and get inspired! Write more!

 

Cheers, Geir

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Tony00237    8

Hey thx Geir really appreciate you taking the time to respond and giving the helpful advice and encouragement you did.

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What if you tried "Lonely boy strumming cigar box strings"? It would add to the visual of poverty and sound good with "jeans" and "dream".  I thin you could cut out most of your later verses to keep the theme of the blues.  

 

Edited by Pahchisme Plaid
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Tony00237    8

Thx I tried this and also changed the ending the song at the "selling your soul" line and adding the line "Lonely boy was your dream worth it" (not sure if ill keep it though.

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I'd have to see how you transitioned it.  My sense is that you could come up with something with more impact for the ending.

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HoboSage    1,904

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a musical pussy calling himself Andrew Gold did a song entitled Lonely Boy.  It was a pretty big hit.  It's also one of the worst piece-of-shit songs of all time.  Even without music, your song is better. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  More recently, and closer to home, the Black Keys also did a song called Lonely Boyand it's pretty damn cool. :)

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Tony00237    8
8 hours ago, HoboSage said:

Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a musical pussy calling himself Andrew Gold did a song entitled Lonely Boy.  It was a pretty big hit.  It's also one of the worst piece-of-shit songs of all time.  Even without music, your song is better. :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S.  More recently, and closer to home, the Black Keys also did a song called Lonely Boyand it's pretty damn cool. :)

Hey thanks, honestly I imagined there was other songs with the same name I just hope I didnt steal anything. Thank you so much.

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