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Jenn

Mr. Fox FULL DEMO

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Jenn    249

Hello everyone... very exciting news... I picked up a real microphone! So much easier than singing into a string attach to my head!

This is coming along and I'm liking the feel during the verses

But I still haven't exactly pinpointed a chorus melody...

Also.. I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions, I find it hard to sing accurately (emotively and tonally) with headphones on... is this just something I'll have to get used to or can I use another method?

 

Here it is.. I've had this in my head for a year. And this is pretty close to a final draft. Please comment on anything you would like.. But mostly, thank you so much for the support and all the help

 

Original: https://soundcloud.com/jennifer8169456/mr-fox-full-demo

Update 1 with tuba removed at 0:53 and new EQ: https://soundcloud.com/jennifer8169456/mr-fox-full-demo-2/s-Ayqh1

 

When mr fox took my hand

He stared me in the eye

And said it's better

Not to have a plan 

He came from over hills

And stumbled over rocks

Never relying on those old ticking clocks 

 

Time breaks

Love makes you make mistakes

Hope needs

A little space to breathe

 

When mr fox saw my face

He knew I didn't trust

And said that lies

Couldn't keep me safe

All the rivers I have crossed 

And songs that I have sung

Could never hold my love for long

 

Time breaks

Love makes you make mistakes

Hope needs

A little space to breathe

 

Thank you so much to @HoboSage for the chorus... it was the last element to this song that I couldn't figure out, and I hope you don't mind that I did in fact use your lyrics.. I feel honored to have them in my song and I hope I did them justice..

 

Thank you..

Edited by Jenn
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HoboSage    1,996

Jenn:  Can you upload a version with the vocal tracks muted?  I have an idea for you.

 

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Jenn    249
28 minutes ago, HoboSage said:

Jenn:  Can you upload a version with the vocal tracks muted?  I have an idea for you.

 

Afraid to see where this goes... but

https://soundcloud.com/jennifer8169456/mr-fox-instrumental/s-hSgk3

 

@HoboSage my bad.. should work now

 

Edited by Jenn
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HoboSage    1,996

Track not found.  If it's set to private, you can't use the url.  You have to copy and paste the track's "Share" link here, or P.M. it to me

Edited by HoboSage

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Jenn    249
1 minute ago, HoboSage said:

A chorus idea.  Keep or sweep.

 

https://soundcloud.com/hobosage/4jenn/s-CpvuO

Hey!!!! I like you on my track :)

I do like that a lot....

Would you mind typing out the words though? I couldn't understand the last 2 lines

I won't use them verbatim .. but just for syllables

Thank you Hobo 

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HoboSage    1,996

Time breaks

love makes you make mistakes

hope needs

a little space to breathe

 

 

I only changed the words to get a better prosody.

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Jenn    249
1 minute ago, HoboSage said:

Time breaks

love makes you make mistakes

hope needs

a little space to breathe

 

 

I only changed the words to get a better prosody.

I was never 100% happy with the lyrics of the chorus either.. I find this brilliant. Hopefully I will get time to record tomorrow! Thank you so much again

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HoboSage    1,996

It was my pleasure, and you're very welcome. :)

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Your confidence is coming through well now :)

 

I really like it... very catchy music and a steadily blooming voice. Did you actually play the trumpet here? 

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Jenn    249
Just now, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

Your confidence is coming through well now :)

 

I really like it... very catchy music and a steadily blooming voice. Did you actually play the trumpet here? 

Ah this is such a compliment from such a beautiful vocalist...Thank you.. I tried having one headphone off while singing and I think it helped a lot.. 

And no :( My trumpet is back at school and I'm not quite sure how I could go about recording it. But I definitely want to try when I go back! 

Thank you so much again

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brycebad    24

Good work! I like the way the instrumental starts, its a bit mysterious and a good fit. I agree with Sreyashi, the vocals are improving; I would try and play around with the EQ because I personally thought they sounded a bit "hissy", as in the higher frequencies were standing out and making it seem a bit unbalanced, but it could just be because I'm listening with earbuds haha. For the chorus, I think you would benefit from layered vocals and harmonies if you can do that... they always seem to take a song to that next level :)

Looking forward to whats next!

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Jenn    249
2 minutes ago, brycebad said:

Good work! I like the way the instrumental starts, its a bit mysterious and a good fit. I agree with Sreyashi, the vocals are improving; I would try and play around with the EQ because I personally thought they sounded a bit "hissy", as in the higher frequencies were standing out and making it seem a bit unbalanced, but it could just be because I'm listening with earbuds haha. For the chorus, I think you would benefit from layered vocals and harmonies if you can do that... they always seem to take a song to that next level :)

Looking forward to whats next!

I'm not too well versed in EQ's and I used some presets in Garageband

I have mostly all the harmonies at the end chorus..Maybe I have to bring them out a little more.

I'll definitely play around though.. as I have no idea what I'm doing

Thank you for the listen :rolleyes:

Edited by Jenn
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MonoStone    912

Excellent work Jenn! And you really have put a lot of work into this.... I remember the very first very rough demo, I thought it had a lot of potential ...and now you've almost reached that potential. It's really good!

 

Your new vocal is a HUGE improvement. Now you sound cool, like you believe in yourself!! 

 

Being picky...I'm not crazy about the chorus melody, I think it lacks melody as it's a bit too close to spoken ...but... you gave it some attitude so it does work. I still think there's a melody playing in the music which should be sung, if not by the lead then as a backing vocal (actually it would make a great backing vocal melody for an outro!). You have a piano playing it (and strings I think) but it should ALSO be sung... it's a ghostly melody.... It's quite a 'ska' sounding melody to my ears...haunted house Ska stuff, the best kind.

 

Again, great job. I love the song. 

 

I would love to hear a more Ska version too....one day maybe.. 

 

 

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Jenn    249
Just now, MonoStone said:

Excellent work Jenn! And you really have put a lot of work into this.... I remember the very first very rough demo, I thought it had a lot of potential ...and now you've almost reached that potential. It's really good!

 

Your new vocal is a HUGE improvement. Now you sound cool, like you believe in yourself!! 

 

Being picky...I'm not crazy about the chorus melody, I think it lacks melody as it's a bit too close to spoken ...but... you gave it some attitude so it does work. I still think there's a melody playing in the music which should be sung, if not by the lead then as a backing vocal (actually it would make a great backing vocal melody for an outro!). You have a piano playing it (and strings I think) but it should ALSO be sung... it's a ghostly melody.... It's quite a 'ska' sounding melody to my ears...haunted house Ska stuff, the best kind.

 

Again, great job. I love the song. 

 

I would love to hear a more Ska version too....one day maybe.. 

 

 

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D I am going to cry.. thank you so much Dek

I'm starting to believe in myself because of everyone here! I can't say thanks enough!

I agree that the outro is missing something. I may come up with a little verse or something... how mr. fox leaves.. takes his words.. i'm alone again.. boo hoo.. etc etc

But honestly, I'm so afraid to mess up anything about the vocals right now haha! Though I was starting to get some good consistency when recording :D

 

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Nelson Z    19

It's great! I love the feel of the song, the creative arrangements and the character of your voice. Original and truly charming. If I had to point just one tiny thing that I don't like, it's the sound of the bass (at 0.53). It works OK when burried but when left alone it sounds too artificial and, to my humble ears, doesn't fit the tone of everything around it.

 

 

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Jenn    249
1 minute ago, Nelson Z said:

It's great! I love the feel of the song, the creative arrangements and the character of your voice. Original and truly charming. If I had to point just one tiny thing that I don't like, it's the sound of the bass (at 0.53). It works OK when burried but when left alone it sounds too artificial and, to my humble ears, doesn't fit the tone of everything around it.

 

 

Thank you so much :rolleyes: I know what part you're talking about without even listening

it's a bass guitar with some tuba on it actually 

maybe I'll take off the tuba for that one section ..

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Fernando    39

Hey Jenn, I just loved it.

I think it has a vintage vibe.

I don't know why the music made me think of a circus, where some lady is singing this. And in the background, they have a group of girls with a baton twirling choreography; weird, I know, lol.

I'm not sure if I figured out what this song is about; I think it is about love making us rush into questionable decisions.

Thank you.

Fernando.

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Dallon426    29

I think it's creative and has some very cool ideas.  That being said, I think the vocals sound a bit amateur sounding (the mix and then then some of the notes are a bit flat). I do like the harmonies!  I do not like the bass plugin.  I think you should invest in getting a bass or collaborating with someone on here to record a bass line.  Or IK multimedia has a great bass plugin called MODO.  Also the unrealistic trumpets aren't cutting it for me.  I think it would be much more soulful if you used real instruments.  I think you said you use garage band.  Which has some decent plugins.  But I think you might want to invest in a better DAW.

Maybe cubase and Native Instruments Kontakt could help out your sound.  Also Addictive drums by XLN audio is really good for realistic drum sounds.

Yeah, I think I just don't like the overall nature of the instruments.  it's a bit too synthesized for me. 

Edited by Dallon426

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Jenn    249
8 hours ago, Fernando said:

Hey Jenn, I just loved it.

I think it has a vintage vibe.

I don't know why the music made me think of a circus, where some lady is singing this. And in the background, they have a group of girls with a baton twirling choreography; weird, I know, lol.

I'm not sure if I figured out what this song is about; I think it is about love making us rush into questionable decisions.

Thank you.

Fernando.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it :lol:

And maybe cause my whole life actually is a circus and filled with weird girls baton twirling choreography hahaha

The song in gist is just about someone coming along and giving me some advice but leaving me with more questions than answers I guess..

Thank you again

 

8 minutes ago, Dallon426 said:

I think it's creative and has some very cool ideas.  That being said, I think the vocals sound a bit amateur sounding (the mix and then then some of the notes are a bit flat). I do like the harmonies!  I do not like the bass plugin.  I think you should invest in getting a bass or collaborating with someone on here to record a bass line.  Or IK multimedia has a great bass plugin called MODO.  Also the unrealistic trumpets aren't cutting it for me.  I think it would be much more soulful if you used real instruments.  I think you said you use garage band.  Which has some decent plugins.  But I think you might want to invest in a better DAW.

Maybe cubase and Native Instruments Kontakt could help out your sound.  Also Addictive drums by XLN audio is really good for realistic drum sounds.

Yeah, I think I just don't like the overall nature of the instruments.  it's a bit too synthesized for me. 

Thank you for the listen, too! The vocal was done in one take with no auto tune or anything, so I expected some flaws in there. This is one of the first times I am mixing vocals into a final mix too.. hopefully I'll just learn through trial and error.

In the original I had actually sung the bass line as "ooo ba ba". For this version, I thought it was a little too electric to put that in there. I am debating putting it on the second verse though. 

And of course, real instruments would sound better haha. If I could, I would have a 100 piece orchestra! But all I can play is the trumpet, which is 1000 miles away from me right now. I also just bought a decent microphone so I can't upgrade my DAW immediately. I do want to though.... Garageband is great, but I want to expand!

Thank you for your comments and I'll definitely work on these in my next song.. as I think I would need to tear the whole song apart to make it less synthesized. 

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MonoStone    912
23 hours ago, Jenn said:

Here is the updated version with adjusted levels... Better? Worse EQ? and I addressed the 0:53 tuba :lol:

https://soundcloud.com/jennifer8169456/mr-fox-full-demo-2/s-Ayqh1

 

Vocal seems louder now, is it? I think it needs to sit into the track more (is that what you adjusted?) ... it's not wrong, but I think it would feel better lowered. Maybe some eq not just level, but have a play with it and decide what you like...it's close and partly a matter of taste...  By the way how do you listen to your mixes? Good headphones?

 

I think you deserve a lot of credit for your arranging skills... some fantastic stuff happening in this tune... It's not easy to get this vibe and dream up all the parts and execute them like that.

 

 

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Impressive mix,Jenn and your voice is so organic and emotive!  I actually can't believe this is the first time I've commented.  I've been following mostly but would run into a distraction most every time I was about to comment.  I really think this is a creative use of sound and has a bit of impending feel to it.  Great use of your very natural song-speak voice!

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Just1L    955

Good song Jen. I'm with Fernando on how it makes me feel. Kind of circusy, kind of burlesque. I could hear an additional instrument in there but can't settle on which one. I see you did have tuba or a trumpet in an earlier version but from what I've read, it wasn't working. Hmmm. If I can think of it, I'll be back. I also like the lyrics for this. It reads well. The real thing I noticed was the singing of "love makes you make mistakes." I think the melody in that line could be a touch more melodic. Interesting and cool tune.

 

Randy

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Jenn    249
On 7/25/2017 at 0:10 PM, MonoStone said:

 

Vocal seems louder now, is it? I think it needs to sit into the track more (is that what you adjusted?) ... it's not wrong, but I think it would feel better lowered. Maybe some eq not just level, but have a play with it and decide what you like...it's close and partly a matter of taste...  By the way how do you listen to your mixes? Good headphones?

 

I think you deserve a lot of credit for your arranging skills... some fantastic stuff happening in this tune... It's not easy to get this vibe and dream up all the parts and execute them like that.

 

 

I changed the EQ of the vocals, and I think it made it louder.. I'm giving it a few days to go back and then listen again, and then I'll change it.. *secret secret* I'm currently working on something else...and getting ready to make final tracks for my EP :lol: *end secret secret* but I've been busy.. with other... stuff

I listen through Bose QuietComfort 25's... I think I've read reviews that they don't pick bass up the best

 

Thank you Dek... Though all I did was really push some buttons

 

On 7/25/2017 at 1:07 PM, Pahchisme Plaid said:

Impressive mix,Jenn and your voice is so organic and emotive!  I actually can't believe this is the first time I've commented.  I've been following mostly but would run into a distraction most every time I was about to comment.  I really think this is a creative use of sound and has a bit of impending feel to it.  Great use of your very natural song-speak voice!

That's the first time I've ever received such a comment about my voice.. Thank you so much. Ahhh I'm around the boards a decent amount.. so if ever you catch one post of mine, I'm forever grateful.. Thanks for the listen again 

 

On 7/25/2017 at 5:08 PM, Just1L said:

Good song Jen. I'm with Fernando on how it makes me feel. Kind of circusy, kind of burlesque. I could hear an additional instrument in there but can't settle on which one. I see you did have tuba or a trumpet in an earlier version but from what I've read, it wasn't working. Hmmm. If I can think of it, I'll be back. I also like the lyrics for this. It reads well. The real thing I noticed was the singing of "love makes you make mistakes." I think the melody in that line could be a touch more melodic. Interesting and cool tune.

 

Randy

I think the tuba gives it that daft circus feel kind of.. I'm pretty set on the instruments... there are many on it... probably like 20 different tracks. And like you, I don't know what I would add!!!

Thank you for your listen!

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Leo    44

Hey Jenn, 

Love your sound. The arrangements are very cool.

Your voice sounds great. I really like the song.

 

I think a few parts of the song needs a bit tighter singing. maybe another

take or two and pick the best lines from each one.

If I'm being picky.

 

Thanks,

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starise    400

Great track Jenn. It has a very mechanical feel to it in the drums. Your singing is really coming along. You've made some nice contrasts here in the music. Imaginative lyrics. I can hear a nice bass guitar in there or some other kind of bass. I can hear a lot that could be done with this in my head. It can go in lots of directions if you decided to take it somewhere else.

Did you get a mic yet? Sounds pretty good here.

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Jenn    249
On 7/27/2017 at 3:00 AM, Leo said:

Hey Jenn, 

Love your sound. The arrangements are very cool.

Your voice sounds great. I really like the song.

 

I think a few parts of the song needs a bit tighter singing. maybe another

take or two and pick the best lines from each one.

If I'm being picky.

 

Thanks,

Ahhh! So many compliments! Thank you! I may rerecord vocals when I get back down to school

 

7 minutes ago, starise said:

Great track Jenn. It has a very mechanical feel to it in the drums. Your singing is really coming along. You've made some nice contrasts here in the music. Imaginative lyrics. I can hear a nice bass guitar in there or some other kind of bass. I can hear a lot that could be done with this in my head. It can go in lots of directions if you decided to take it somewhere else.

Did you get a mic yet? Sounds pretty good here.

Thank you! Yeah the drums are the drummers available in GarageBand .. so I had limited customization 

A bass line is possible.. but I was pretty happy with the instrumentation when I posted this and I haven't really listened to it since

But maybe in a few weeks I'll change my mind

And I did get a mic!!!!! It's amazing! A blue yeti

 

 

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starise    400

Glad you got the mic,. This is probably why your vocals are coming out much better. I like the fox theme. We love them. It's a long story. You are very good at composition. I hope you are able to keep at it. I'll be interested to hear how this one pand out.

 

The drums would be good candidates for some midi velocity treatment. I'm not sure if Garage band does that . No sweat. Still sounds good.Volume automation between drum tracks can add interest in the drums too.

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