Pick and Lift

[Leo]

Hey folks,

First time post to poet's corner. What do you think?

Pick and Lift

Unseen tonight,

There is no light,

Dark inside and out,

 

A sound that might,

Wake up a fright,

In those who sleep so tight,

 

Unaware,

Myself I scare,

As I break the inside,

 

A breath I take,

Of stolen air,

To fuel my long lost pride,

 

I pick and lift,

All that I can,

Tonight I dine myself, amen,

 

A king of kings,

A self made man,

A pirate on dry land,

 

But unaware,

I stop and stare,

A photo of my wife?,

 

Could It, It seems,

It couldn’t be,

I think I just had might,

 

Ashamed to say,

No easy way,

I’m robbing my own house,

[scotsman89]

leo 

flowed well but if there is a story > reason   I failed to grasp it . robbing my own house something an addict would do . no explanation  as to why  

 

john

[Leo]

13 hours ago, scotsman89 said:

leo 

flowed well but if there is a story > reason   I failed to grasp it . robbing my own house something an addict would do . no explanation  as to why  

 

john

 

Thanks John,

I agree, Iv'e changed that part.

What do you think?

 

 

Pick and Lift

Unseen tonight,

Where there’s no light,

Dark inside and out,

 

A sound that might,

Wake up a fright,

In those who sleep tight,

 

Then unaware,

Myself I scare,

As I break the inside,

 

A breath I take,

Of stolen air,

To fuel my long lost pride,

 

I pick and lift,

And break a piece,

Of someone else's life,

 

To build a whole,

To fill a hole,

To band my leaking heart,

 

Ashamed to say,

No easy way,

It’s me behind the mask I wear,

[Leo]

A new edition.

All critique is welcomed.

Pick and Lift

Unseen tonight,

There’s no light,

Dark inside and out,

 

A sound just might,

Wake up a fright,

In those who sleep so tight,

 

Then unaware,

Myself I scare,

As I break the inside,

 

A breath I take,

Of stolen air,

To fuel my long lost pride,

 

I pick and lift,

And break a chunk,

Of someone else's life,

 

To build a whole,

Fulfil my roll,

To band my leaking soul,

 

Ashamed to claim,

What I must bare,

It’s me behind the mask I wear,

[Leo]

Hey,

This has just become a song. Updated lyrics and a rough demo included.

Love to hear your opinions, thanks.

 

 

 

Pick and Lift

Unseen tonight,

There’s no light,

Dark inside and out,

 

A sound that might,

Wake up a fright,

In those who sleep so tight,

 

Then unaware,

Myself I scare,

As I break the inside,

A breath I take,

Of stolen air,

To fuel my long, lost pride,

 

I pick and lift,

And break a chunk,

Of someone else's junk,

 

To build a wall,

Fulfil my roll,

To band my leaking soul,

 

Then unaware,

Myself I scare,

As I break the inside,

A breath I take,

Of stolen air,

To fuel my long lost pride,

 

Ain’t ashamed to say,

For me no other way to be,

It’s me behind,the mask I wear.