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Peggy    403

Hi there,  Any comments/critque/suggestions welcome and much appreciated.  Pop tune and feel. Marked Areas and the bridge? are  almost spoken the way i'm thinking. 

:)

Peggy

 

Copyright 08/11/2017 Peggy L. Smart-Barnes

 

 

You Don't Have To  


---------- V 1 --------------
It's not a matter
But something inside
Put it in place
I learned to decide

--------- V 2 -------------
So far from perfect
Still wonder why
Eyes full of specs
Makes it easy to cry

-------- C 1 ------------
So so for sure
Something good to know

You don't have to use anger with me
Trust me (spoken)

Thought about it
Hides what's to see
You see.  (spoken)

You don't have to use it with me
Not me  (spoken)

You don't have to
You don't have to use it with me


-------- C 2 (m1) ------------
So so for sure
Something good to know

You don't have to use anger with me
Trust me (spoken)


-------- B 1 ------------ (Spoken or bring it up)
Really?

Really!  
Explosions burn
Too much aftermath
I hate that

So much

 

It's easy to walk away

Easier to talk

With me

Okay

-------- C 2 (m2) ------------
So so for sure
Something good to know

You don't have to use anger with me
Trust me (spoken)

-------- V 3 ------------
Life's never perfect
We love and we try
It's never in steps
We hardly know why


---------- V 4 --------------
It's not a matter
I wouldn't lie
Put it in place
We learn to decide


-------- C 3 ------------
So so for sure
Something good to know

You don't have to use anger with me
Trust me (spoken)

Thought about it
Hides what's to see
You see (spoken)

You don't have to use it with me
Not me (spoken)

You don't have to
You don't have to use it with me

You don't have to
You don't have to use anger with me

Trust me (spoken)

Trust me (spoken)

 

 

 

Edited by Peggy
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Dazzyt66    37
7 hours ago, Peggy said:

Eyes full of specs

Looking good but maybe 'Eyes full of retrospect' ?

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Peggy    403
7 hours ago, Dazzyt66 said:

Looking good but maybe 'Eyes full of retrospect' ?

Hi Dazzyt66,

Thanks for the read and the suggestions.

 

I was trying to reflect on the bible wisdom  "..... when you have a log in your own"

15 hours ago, Peggy said:

Eyes full of specs

Is like equal to a log. :)

 

But "retrospect" is good.

 

:)

Peggy

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Skin    265
5 minutes ago, Peggy said:

Nay not too deep. just seems when you read/listen to the news  everything is on the scale of 11.

 

This came out. It was a quick write.

Thanks

:)

Peggy

Hahaha thats why i dont watch the news! Seems i got this way wrong sorry!

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Skin    265
7 minutes ago, Peggy said:

I have a terrible time trying to explain my lyrics sometimes. :)

 

You should not have to explain! Some are obvious others should remain mysterious!

 

Les 

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Skin    265
6 minutes ago, Peggy said:

Readers/listeners gotta get from start to finish with something of their own.

:)

 

 

What does that mean? Exactly?

l read this made my own mind up but joe bloggs next to me he see's different? 

 

all down to interpretation as we see it!

 

Still a brill write

 

Skin

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Skin    265
16 hours ago, Peggy said:

Haha..yay, so when writing i want the reader/listener to get somewhere at the end.

:)

 

Sometimes I think they should be left hanging on the telephone lol🙂

No really,  I dont want to always give up my reason behind a lyric! 

Why you ask? Yes ya did I heard ya lol

Because we need intrigue! We need mystery! What is the point of not having to wonder about anything just Google it!

 

🙂

 

 

 

Edited by Skin

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Skin    265
16 hours ago, Peggy said:

Haha..yay, so when writing i want the reader/listener to get somewhere at the end.

:)

 

When they get there what are they left with? 

No surprise ! No cake! No prezzies to un wrap! Nothing if you tell them all the way through what they are going to get! Maybe just me Peggy but I am hooked on surprises! And boy do I get em sometimes? 

I just think keeping things a little secret and only revealing a bit in some but not all lyrics is far better that spilling the beans?

 

still brill write

Edited by Skin

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Peggy    403

Hi Les,  

Thanks for the feedback.!!  Appreciate all your thoughts on content with this one.  Keeps me thinking. It was such a quick write, you say deep. It is a packed bunch of words and thoughts, for sure.

It always comes up for me in writing.  Depending on the feel of the idea sometimes too much or  too little.

I try to intentionally give room for the reader/listener. Often leaving multiple ways to get some place, where ever that place is. I probably do lean to the vague side. That could just be bad writing, too.😁

With lyrics we have just a few words to get there and "there" is different for folks.

4 hours ago, Skin said:

Maybe just me Peggy but I am hooked on surprises! And boy do I get em sometimes? 

 You're lucky.  How boring when there are never surprises ... i agree it's always more fun for writer and hopefully for the reader/listener to go away thinking a bit. Unless, of course, it's just a full blown party lyric. Haha!!

 

:)

Peggy

Edited by Peggy

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On 12/08/2017 at 5:45 AM, Peggy said:

Eyes full of specs

 

On 12/08/2017 at 5:45 AM, Peggy said:

Something good to know

 

On 12/08/2017 at 5:45 AM, Peggy said:

Hides what's to see
You see

 

Peggy, 

 

It's a nice write... I like it 😊

And yeah... I did have to read it a couple of times to get it... so yeah, you're definitely making the reader/listener work hard! :lol:

 

To me, the above three lines seem a little forced when compared to the flow of the preceding and next lines. Of course, you can still choose to be cryptic but perhaps also take care that the reader/listener in on a smooth ride, once he/she gets the theme? 

 

These are just my thoughts, of course :001_smile:. Out of curiosity, what kind of pop music do you imagine going with this, tempo-wise?

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Peggy    403
16 hours ago, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

 

Peggy, 

 

It's a nice write... I like it 😊

And yeah... I did have to read it a couple of times to get it... so yeah, you're definitely making the reader/listener work hard! :lol:

 

To me, the above three lines seem a little forced when compared to the flow of the preceding and next lines. Of course, you can still choose to be cryptic but perhaps also take care that the reader/listener in on a smooth ride, once he/she gets the theme? 

 

These are just my thoughts, of course :001_smile:. Out of curiosity, what kind of pop music do you imagine going with this, tempo-wise?

 

Clarity is something i am trying really hard to work through in my writing.  My thoughts flood as i write and the meaning starts chain-linking and blending as i  try and resolve. I am probably a guarded writer. But i do want, so much, for the reader/listener to find one of the paths i have presented. Or at least have enough that they can take away a picture or feeling that's relatable. Wanting them to come back for another read/listen for the right reasons.

 

In most of my lyrics there is a bit of "reality" behind them, probably some a "mystery".  Not necessarily personal, (although i personalize alot with i you me we .. 1st/2nd person pronouns) but within the wide sphere I've defined for myself to write in.  I just need to keep working at not letting my natural guard cause the reader/listener confusion. 

 

My voice is not that great, terrible, but always in tune.  I sing all the time. Not as a singer but thinking it's about time i  get over "afraid to be  embarrassed" and sing a quick melody so folks can hear were i am with my songs.  But dang, that's a huge hurdle for me.  Yikes, telling you this, knowing your voice is beautiful and enchanting.

 

I just need to keep working at all my weaknesses .. which is great fun for me and driven alot by my experiences here with you all.

 

Thanks so much for the read and comments.  I have a bit of work here and a couple of more ideas now to kick around.  

 

I really thought this worked a bit better than i'm seeing now. Main focus was no one is perfect here on earth.  we can understand and talk instead of being angry. Anger has it's place but .. 

 

:)

 

 

Edited by Peggy
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Skin    265
5 hours ago, Peggy said:

 Main focus was no one is perfect here on earth.  we can understand and talk instead of being angry. Anger has it's place but .. 

 

:)

 

 

So true Peggy so true!!

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