MazingMaryRocks

Thanks for sharing! You are one lucky guy having those musical elves around. Hrm...

Hi! Thanks for sharing! One day, in the subway, someone talked in the phone and said something that got stuck on my mind. I used that line BUT, what if you have a story in your mind, can you manage to get it out or will it take its own way? Deep, deep question, but I am really curious //MMR

Hi! Got a question to you all. When I write lyrics, they just come to me. Usually I have no idea what to write about, I just pick up pen and paper – and there it is! Sometimes the result amazes me when I read the finished story. Do you usually have at least a clue about the story or are you like me and just get the result? Curious to hear YOUR experience! //MMR

My vote goes for.....nr 2

WING OF A BAT, NEWT IN TOWN Vs 1 E F# E I saw this dude at half past noon d#c#f Was hairy and scraggly, greasy and maroon aeb An awkward crazed loony tune vs 2 Its attire it wore Was from a shanty town Six, six, six tattooed all around (pre chorus) Who are you?! I asked in my gown It raised its arms then flung em down (chorus) Like the wing of a bat Flap flap flap I'm newt in town And I need to take a crap vs 3 I offered him some deodorant It asked how bout suave No Thanks it said, I think I'll pass As he released what smelled like a putrid gas vs 4 Then it took a sip of a cape cod Guzzled it down like it wasn't hard Threw it away then began to nod (pre chorus) After the odor had settle down, I blurted out "You Bozo the Clown!" Then it raised it's arms then flung em down (chorus) Like the wing of bat Flap, flap, flap I'm newt in town And I need to take a crap (chorus) Again it raised it's arms Then flung em down And said just for that It took a crap Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap (chorus) Then I raised my arms too, in a fling Then ran so fast Zing, zing, zing Raising my arms flinging em down Moving fast to get out of town Like a wing of a bat Flap, flap, flap (bridge) E-COLI!!! Now I got to take A CRAP! (outro) Raising my arms fling'n em down Moving fast to get out of town Like a wing of a bat Flap, flap, flap Hi! Sorry for the late reply! I really enjoyed reading your lyrics! They seems a bit different to me, with that fun and flirting undertone. One particular part that cought my mind was: I offered him some deodorant It asked how bout suave No Thanks it said, I think I'll pass As he released what smelled like a putrid gas Overall, I think you used the words in a cleaver and fun way to create these lyrics. Nicely done! And to all of you: it's been amazing to see how different we all write with the same words. Made me think of creating an EP together, named : Wing of a bat... //MMR

Link to the critique board: http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/38773-the-wizards-hand/ //MMR

Hi! Thanks for the feedback. I really liked your suggestions and will probably make some changes to it! I only struggle with the rhyming. Just until recently my lyrics were rhyming, now I kind of left that behind and I don't know why, it just happened. Good or bad? I think it is a matter of personal preferences. But I will definitely consider your sugg for rhyming in this one. Thanks again! //MMR

Great! Now I can easily write songs in any genre, haha //MMR

Hi James! Thanks for the feedback. The Nefertiti/Cleopatra thing were a simple mistake, it should say Cleopatra throughout the lyrics. I think you are right about switching verse 1 and 2. My initial thought was that she were outside at first and then reluctantly got down into the catacombs. The 30 years is the years she got to live, then the poisoned wine took her life. "It" reffers to the hand. Most of my lyrics are leaving something behind to think about and I do that intentionally. To me that creates a bit of mystery that I like to bring into the story But at the same time, the readers/listeners must have some kind of clue and I try to balance on a fine line here. I appreciate your feedback and will keep it in mind! //MMR

Hi! Nice write! The fact that you added another verse took the story to a higher level and made it come together nicely. I think you used the different elements in a smart way throughout the yrics. The only thing that cought my eye (and now I'm being picky...) was the "skirt". I think I would have tried to incorporate something like a "blood stained shirt" or something like that. Good job! //MMR

The wizard’s hand Verse 1 In the catacombs of magic, no light were found Supposed to die, right at that moment Drinking her poisoned wine Gave her just 30 years Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Verse 2 The Jaguar by her side, could not help Guards fell like bricks without knowing Protection did fail He took her life that day Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Verse 3 The dress she wore, designed to protect With magic so strong, it made her fall A wizard too powerful She had no chance Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Outro The wizard’s hand That poured the wine Which hides in the dark Are still alive //MMR

The wizard’s hand Verse 1 In the catacombs of magic, no light were found Supposed to die, right at that moment Drinking her poisoned wine Gave her just 30 years Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Verse 2 The Jaguar by her side, could not help Guards fell like bricks without knowing Protection did fail He took her life that day Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Verse 3 The dress she wore, designed to protect With magic so strong, it made her fall A wizard too powerful She had no chance Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Outro The wizard’s hand That poured the wine Witch hides in the dark Are still alive

Thanks Louielouwhy for the kind words! I loved your explanation on why we'll never see you on stage //MMR

Haha, I was actually considering that for my first performance ever this saturday. But, I'm not sure what it will do to my voice //MMR

Hi all! Thanks for sharing! White Soul Black Heart: Pink Floyd - Wish you Were Here. Dig that one too! Green Bat: I had to "Spotify" Starcastle. Nice music! //MMR