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louielouwhy

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louielouwhy last won the day on October 26 2015

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About louielouwhy

  • Birthday December 1

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    I'm Only Here for Self Promo
    Give It To Me Both Barrels
    6
    7

Music Background

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested
  • Band / Artist Name
    EVERYBODYS' LEAST FAVORITE AND THE NEGATIVE NOTES
  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    Have materialized over a dozen songs. All have melodies, chords.
    Read a few things.
  • Musical Influences
    Fifties, Sixties, Seventies, Eighties, I like other contemporary later rock music also, Older Country, Some Newer Country, Blues, Gospel, Christian Rock, Spiritual.

Profile Information

  • Interests
    Family, gardening, sleep, religion, politics, history
  • Location
    United States of America
  • Gender
    Male

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  1. Johnny, I bought a new iMac. It's loaded with Garageband Software. I find doing the music is the simplest thing. If you got a problem, you can call Apple to guide you through. Apple team has a great support network that will help you over the phone. And. You can attend an Apple tutorial course in your area for nothing as well. I'm just assuming that you might be at the technical level that I'm at, which is kindergarten. Since I needed a new computer anyway and songwriting is a big part of me, I thought investing in this IMacI already with the Software programed into it was the least expensive way to go as well as the simplest. Of course you have to purchase an Interface to hook up to your computer. I bought what I thought was the least expensive one, which had the best quality for the money. It only has two inputs, but since I'm a lone musician here it works. What is killing me is getting around on the computer. For example like earning how to import data, registering for things etc.. like on Youtube. Filing Mp3s and stuff. I can't organize it and store it to know where to go to access it when I want it. It took me a few days to get the sound I wanted for my song. But it has been over a week trying to coordinate my work what I've materialized. And I still don't know what I'm freaking doing. There are just so many instructions! It's like my brain is jug that full and it don't have the capacity to fit anymore info so i can get to the next step. Anyhow. This video is what i've done with an acoustic guitar, and electric guitar, and the rhythms I had to select to download and adjust to my liking. Oh yeah, some instruments from my keyboard in the intro, and near the end. I didn't include my voice because it ruins the song. At the end of the first song, you can listen too me singing which says it all about my critique on my vocals lol, I'm sure you will agree.
  2. I'll be hoping that as you endeavor to progress it becomes easier and natural for you so it becomes easy, fun, and lucrative all in one package. Good luck! Louie
  3. Jamestoffee You have an outstanding gift for correlational homonyzing. Only thee things that bothered me: 1. There is not enough in the third line that completes it to me. 2. For my taste, I thought the fifth line was kind of discusting. And. 3. If the music was done well it's a hit in my book, paper or otherwise. No matter. The idea is ingenious. Louie
  4. James Ingenious! I take it as though the fish are people that had been lured into something (net), only to be exploited for profits for the fisherman, only to be let go in spite of their expectations which the fisherman attracted them with (noble cause). Which was, getting subjects to think that the company is going to improve the workers' conditions or environment. But. As a result, wound up destroying their lives while the fisherman profited for him, her, themselves invested in a company.
  5. Song Challenge #41 The Growing Distance The Gap Between THE COMMUNIST STOMP WITH THE CAPITALIST TWIST (Intro) Damn! dg cf D dg cf D Intro We can’t see your face But pay offs are all over the place F G Just as clear as night is day Vs 1 In a whispering shout Your promises came echoing out Contorting the masses In a whispering shout Problem > At the top,intelligence & power are Your promises come echoing out corrupt Contorting the masses With a whispering shout vs 2 For you, it turned out like you said A well prepared comfortable bed Root of the problem > Greed But a title wave of burdens of debris For poor old, in debt, unemployed, pitiful me Mega millions for you while I'm thoroughly screwed (bridge) Now today tomorrow is a better worse Except I see it in a reverse Solution to the problem > Rounded, After issuing plows with no pay validated education Opposed to yesterday Commies just taking them away (pre chorus) Oooh! How so very nice You have given me a choice To take my pick without an iron fist Genocide or slavery Aftermath > reliance on being dependant on others for self preservation (chorus) (refrain) Take your pick To the capitalist twist Genocide or slavery Take your pick To the capitalist twist Genocide or slavery (Music only) (pre chorus Woe no! We can’t see your face, but it’s all over the place Just as clear as night is day (bridge) Now tomorrow is a better worse Except I see it in a reverse Issuing plows with no pay Opposed to yesterday Commies just taking them away Oooh! But how so very nice You have given me a choice To take my pick Except without the iron fist Genocide or slavery (chorus) Take your pick But with the capitalist twist Genocide or slavery Take your pick With the capitalist twist Genocide or slavery (outro) Oooh! How so very nice You have given me a choice (refrain) Genocide or slavery
  6. The crap thing was just a joke. You'll get it after you see the lyrics.
  7. Influence in relation to it, I would think. Otherwise, why put something specific? Unless it's something that I didn't get. I've been known for that quite often. Doesn't anybody give a crap about my song?
  8. Mazing Mary I'm taking it that the wing of a bat and the eye of a newt might be a potion that Cleopatra drank which the Wizard had something to do with. Interesting! To me some of the lines and a few words added here in there I think would make the lyrics more rhythmical. Other than that, it's anamazital, Mary. In the catacombs of magic, no light were found Supposed to die, right at that moment Who is supposed to die? Drinking her poisoned wine Gave her just 30 years why not another number that rhymes with wine Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling Night it cam crawling in In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand I feel a need to want to hear a word that rhymes The hand of the immortal wizard somewhere in these lines Verse 2 The Jaguar by her side, could not help Guards fell like bricks without knowing Protection did fail He took her life that day Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling Night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Verse 3 The dress she wore, designed to protect With magic so strong, it made her fall But with magic so strong, she had not chance A wizard too powerful It made her fall She had no chance He was a wizard too powerful Chorus Black skies were closing in At night it came crawling In the pyramids of Cairo Where Cleopatra took her last breath That’s where you’ll find the hand The hand of the immortal wizard Outro The wizard’s hand That poured the wine Which hides in the dark Are still alive
  9. Holz If it is a pitiful story you want to project about the subject, you definitely got that point across. I'm believing that the eating dirt and dust for breakfast is relevant to the newt, and guessing because the poor soul appears to have no direction in life indicates the wing of a bat, suggesting that as he roams around always under the influence he does it blind as a bat. I'd start the intro off with what you got for chorus lines. I'd keep them chorus. I'd put the word But before no matter how hard I wish I'd invert the last two lines to be the first two lines in vs 1. And ad the word dish to of dirt and dust. There's a lot of profound descriptions in the verses. But to me it sounds more like you are talking to tell it to me rather than making what you are saying melodic. Louie
  10. I thought the story was really interesting, and well written. Except for the end. Everything going on was made obvious, but like the first critic I couldn't figure out their fate until you explained it. After you explained the scheme, then I realized that it was I that wasn't keen enough to figure it out. To sum it up, I got to say. To describe a title like that and tie it to all the objects and the characters and circumstances, I give you lots of credit > The lyrics were > OUTSTANDING! Makes my version of the title shine like crap. Of the three songs 38, 39, and 40, as well done as the other ones were, lyrically, for my taste, this one tops the other two. Louie
  11. James > E coli approach > > Little did I know that there was so much substance to this song. "No idea where it was heading" . That was exactly what I thought after I read the Title. This time, i didn't follow your lead, I felt that I shouldn't have been influenced in anyway for this one. So. I haven't seen or heard anybody elses yet. Before I wrote this one, I came up with another song which I finished without the reference of the lyrics. I just used the guidelines of the other content John gave us not knowing the title. In the near future I'm going to post that one in the lyric critique forum. I titled it At Dusk. Yes. I agree with your critique. I'm surprised that was the only negative. But even I know we are pretty much limited with this title. I got chores to do now, so I've got to give this a rest for now. Will be viewing everybody elses before the dead line. Thanks for the enlightment! Louie
  12. A color - Maroon A time of day - Half pass noon A named place - Shanty town A named famous person, alive or dead - Bozo the Clown A brand - Suave A type of food or drink - Cape Cod A number - 666 A part of the body - Arm An item of clothing - Gown WING OF A BAT, NEWT IN TOWN Vs 1 E F# E I saw this dude at half past noon d#c#f Was hairy and scraggly, greasy and maroon aeb An awkward crazed loony tune vs 2 Its attire it wore Was from a shanty town Six, six, six tattooed all around (pre chorus) Who are you?! I asked in my gown It raised its arms then flung em down (chorus) Like the wing of a bat Flap flap flap I'm newt in town And I need to take a crap vs 3 I offered him some deodorant It asked how bout suave No Thanks it said, I think I'll pass As he released what smelled like a putrid gas vs 4 Then it took a sip of a cape cod Guzzled it down like it wasn't hard Threw it away then began to nod (pre chorus) After the odor had settle down, I blurted out "You Bozo the Clown!" Then it raised it's arms then flung em down (chorus) Like the wing of bat Flap, flap, flap I'm newt in town And I need to take a crap (chorus) Again it raised it's arms Then flung em down And said just for that It took a crap Flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap, flap (chorus) Then I raised my arms too, in a fling Then ran so fast Zing, zing, zing Raising my arms flinging em down Moving fast to get out of town Like a wing of a bat Flap, flap, flap (bridge) E-COLI!!! Now I got to take A CRAP! (outro) Raising my arms fling'n em down Moving fast to get out of town Like a wing of a bat Flap, flap, flap
  13. Hi Les I'm thinking that word 'this' relates to a period of time within eternal time. Like in relationship to specific events that are encompassed by the whole creation of what is a segment of eternity. By using 'this' I'm imagining that I'm relaying a message that has already been revealed. Matt.24:35, 2 Peter 3,10, 18, etc.. If I use 'our or man', it could hint to those that resent God for this life, it gives an impression that this 'time' segment is God's doing to punish us. If I us the word 'the', I'm insinuating that 'time' is God. I want to project that time is an object that is subordinate to the Word.
  14. Yes James! Thank you very much for your feed back. To start, I'm going to start the song off with 'Believers or not" opposed to 'Believe it or not'. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I'm not qualified to debate based on my education. But after reviewing the AAA style, I tend to see how the second set of verses related to the melody veers from the AAA style. But after reading Johns critique about What Were You Thinking and reviewing the references relating to the subject matter. I'm not exactly sure where I veered off lyrically. I've been noted to not to understand things at a slow pace or totally misunderstand. So in order to meet the required guidelines, that I think I deviated from, would making the second set of verses sound the same do it? In an attempt to answer your question to the 'Time clock', I thought the following set of verses would hint at that in relation to this life's knowledge of unfortunate experiences in general during this 'time' factor. The spaces between each phrase represents pauses. Gadgdg < chords > C taa C ta ta Taa taa ta D ta g g f# g g ddebbde g f# d e Believers or not! Better days are coming g g g f# g Believe it or not! g g g f# g gddebbd g g f# d d d e Gadgdg < chord Believe it or not! This time clock will stop running g g g f# f# g D d d g Gadgdg D Gadgdg < chord Better days are coming Believers or not! g g g g d d e I know living in this world g g g g d d e I know living in this world b b b d Can bring you down d d d d d d d g Now there is not need to worry g g g g d d g Though it's harder than it sounds g g g g g g A d d g g f# g Gadgdg C b C D That better days are coming! Believe it or not! g g g f# g d d d dg g g Believer's or not Better days are coming D Gadgdg C Gadgdg C D Gadgdg Believe it or not! (1x) (1x) (1x) C A dg Believer's or not!
  15. Why Thank You MIke! Problem. My computer is an old Dell. I have a Tascam Interfacer which I never figured out how to record my recordings from either my VS 880 EX Roland, or from my guitars through it to somewhere on the internet. The Common Phrase. I thought "Believe it or not" and "Better days are coming" were common phrases. No? Or. Is it the way the song is formatted that doesn't fit AAA? Anyway. I cut the song for this at where I thought that I might have deviated. It is funny how this song happened. It came very easy. Originally, I was going to use "Believe it or not" about a drunk getting caught stealing a beer, then using that phrase as an excuse along with the story line. Then, to make a longer story short, something in me said write about Jesus instead. And. I dig the peace sign! The point that I forgot to mention was but forgot was, the Jesus song came a lot easier.
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