halld1971

I get so blinding confused, doesn't take much. I'll go seek it out....thank you

I snuck it in with only seconds remaining on the clock lol

James, Thanks for the feedback. Ah yes, you spotted a flaw in my thinking, they do have each other - I need to tighten that up a bit, I was thinking no one to make her feel safe but I was three steps down the line and the pen was trailing behind... I love the play on words, I'll pop that in. I adore Sade's voice, so much depth and emotion - thanks for the link, it was a very powerful song Thank you, as always. David

the old ones are still the best lol

I think there would be something fishy about using the POV from the character that has the most to lose. Its a good point though as I just did the opposite and maybe thats why it was so so. Anyway, I really enjoyed your song.

Ive had a stab at this weeks challenge but run out of time, so mine is AAB and may not actually be that. I'll try and grab some time later to write another verse Give it all by David Hall V1 And here they come again Brown eyes with a sad face Little child with no place to lay her head tonight. Flies all around her lips Baby hugging her hips. With no-one to hold them tonight. V2 Tiny feet without any shoes Empty bowls, nothing to choose Little girl with no place to dry her tears tonight No food for days on end All she needs is a friend to let her eat tonight Chorus I'm ashamed to say We have turned away from their dying plea it's not destiny When did we become immune to it all? Forget to call? Why can't we give it all? Why can't we give it all? Why can't we give at all?

Hey James. I like this as a folk song, kinda reminded me a little of something Dylan would have done. A sad tale of a man blind to the damage he causes when ignorant/unaware of his own actions. As I was listening it reminded me of folks that jet all around the world on vacation and then talk about saving the environment... a weak link but its what it reminded me of. I would say I didn't find the song emotionally wrenching but it was a good starter. As always, Im amazed how you turn this music out so quickly. All the best, David

sorry guv', I will give some critique tomorrow, Ive just been on and off the site today in between other stuff. I still think the title was just a bit of fun in relation to the task of putting loads of words into the pot. Anyway, maybe John can guide us in his innermost thoughts...

No, I don't think you missed anything Holz. I was confused initially but now I think people just used the title for influence... i think....

I was thinking the title for this (newt and bat) was just a reference to the fact that so many elements (words) had to be put in the pot (song), like a witch/wizard potion, not that we had to use the song title as influence. Did I miss that completely?

The lights, are on red Heart brakes, up ahead You've got, someone new I was, the one for you Your words, jam my brain My love's, been in vain Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? Dylan plays, on the radio I pray, his wind will blow You wish, this didn't hurt My tears, soak your skirt Rolex watch, marks our time Stolen love, an act of crime Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? No way, through the night London Bridge, doesn't feel right You're asleep, in his bed I'm dying, inside my head Dylan plays, on the radio I pray, that wind will blow Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? Tried to incorporate challenge 39 and 40 together, and came up with 39.5

James, Thanks for the feedback. I will revise the song structure to try and fit AAA. I read the article too but have to admit I thought the chorus was treated separately (dunno why I thought that). I tried to write about love and this is what came out, the question posed by a woman who is beaten by her partner - the initial high and then the feelings about the abuse. It just came out that way. I'll try and tweak it some to get in the right structure and then work on the content. As always, thank you for the feedback

Head over heels When you kiss me like that it really gets me high My head's in the clouds in the dream shaped sky Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? The way you touch me drops me to my knees I'm begging for mercy I'll do anything you please Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? Chorus The ship has sailed and gone to sea No safe harbour for you and me You take me places I never knew I see life from a different view I'm head over heels for you I'm head over heels for you The way you hold me and squeeze me tight I can see stars in the morning light Is this how love feels when you're head over heels? When you look at me you'll see no fear because every cloud sheds a silver tear Is this how love feels when you're head over heels?