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That is it Cheers Gary

Now thats a cool blues lyric Cheers Gary

Hey Les I thought that too Probably drop the "then" , "Promised me passion steamed me put me on ice" You can't be out of depth with blues structure its pretty simple. Use the university of the radio, go and get a 12 bar blues song like hound dog and rewrite the words then the form will click real quick. I did that the other week to write sonnets I just got some old William stuff and started to rewrite it and I got the idea fairly quickly. I found they took a long time to do once I worked out how it was done, because of all the restrictions of the form. But once I had done the rewrite I was able to do a couple that I need to do for this play thing. So I say go print out hound and rewrite to that structure. The point of the exercise is, I guess, to understand what the form is then fiddle with it. I actually was surprised at the result music wise because forms like blues can be pretty same same, so I deliberately didn't resolve the chord sequence like a traditional blues thing. I think I finish on the V chord instead of the I, and I thought this is going to sound hanging there and weird but it didn't. Now i see from looking at blues derivations that Lennon McCartney did this 50% of the time. I also chucked in an extra chord. The straight sequence is first, fourth, first, fifth, fourth, first. I I I I IV IV I IV IV I I So In the key of D which mine is. Its D G D A G D But I chucked in an extra chord F#m and finish on the A instead of the D and I've got Em in my B part which isn't standard either. What is important about learning a form is then looking at the way good song writers then muck with the form, some of them so much that unless your paying close attention you don't know it's the form. 50 Years on I have just realise a song "The word" I think off Revolver is 12 bar blues. Cheers Gary

Well Ive done my basic structure now just got to tart it up a bit write the riff and do some harmonies. I put a link on the post. Cheers Gary

Hi les you got to leave room or the lead guitarist will not be happy. I think they get about 45 to 50 percent of the bar space for their blues riff. This looks to me to be 12 bar blues half measure which is six bars, it's a variation but I think it's ok to do that. blues has an a and a b part but it's not like we normally mention parts because it's all part of the verse / refrain section. So you can say the verse has motive A and motive B and if you want you can do a B section like in Bluberry Hill. But if your doing half measures you gotta do 6 verses or 4 verses a 6 bar B part and a 6 Bar coda. Im hearing it like this which is 12 bar half measure. Well its D day, signed the papers today Yea it's D day. Signed our marriage away there's nothing left for us to say we signed our love away. if you want to check 12 bar half measure you can sing it to Lennons Yea blues which from memory is that. What your doing is 8 bar and that ain't a variation of 12 it's it's own thing I think. Also in the blues there there is a refrain line that's the same in every verse and it can be any of the lines so it's like it's D day, I gave that woman every breath it's D day ( desolation baby) i gave that woman every breath hey the BVs just stole the lead break space but you get the idea cheers Gary

Hi John A great way to take my mind of things as I sit here with a hot wheat bag on my back. :-) Here is my go at a 12 bar lyric. Cheers Gary Window Shopper © Gary Yeomans 2016 Find me the doorway I gotta get out of here Find me the doorway I gotta get out of here fast She was a window shopper, liked to shop around I was so easily fooled, selfishly used Promised me passion, steamed me then put me on ice Promised me passion, steamed me then put me on ice fast She was a window shopper, looked but never touched I was so easily fooled, selfishly used I tried to buy her, she cashed me in then sold out I tried to buy her, she cashed me in then sold out fast She was a window shopper, bargain hunting girl I was so easily fooled, selfishly used Here is the basic tune no intro no lead break etc. its private so you gotta press this secret link

In that instance the person at pronoun is stressed rather than the noun to make a point. ie your asking too much and I'm not the one for you. " it ain't ME babe" and that is a normal exception. And you can do whatever you like as long as there is a good and valid reason for doing it. Cheers Gary

It used to be simultaneously for me, but now it's lyrics first.

Music is the most important, which is hardest depends on your natural talents. Having said that a properly crafted lyric combined with basic music theory determines 80 percent of the music content. The groove the speed the chord pattern are pretty much proscribed by the lyric. Melodic tension and release also, theory has its cadences to be dealt with, types of pattern repetition so there are only a few notes to actually put in out of choice. Cheers Gary

If you write enough songs you are going to make a mistake something is going to come out if your subconscious and end up in a song. If it does it's not a big deal if it's unintentional. The infringed party is going to get a share of the royalties. Which is fair so it's only a drama if you are in denial. If you had access to the infringed work and it's substantially similar then you need to come to an agreement. And try to stay out of court. Look at Lennon's result as apposed to Harrison's. So I don't worry about it. Other than if someone points out that it sounds like something else and if I agreed I would imeadiately take it down. But that has never happened. Cheers Gary

I only stick with a first draft lyric if it's right. If it's nearly right I will amend it in the studio as I record. My editing is less than it used to be. I never start a lyric I can't finish. I allways right in one sitting. Cheers Gary

Hi Omenrama I'm glad you got something from it. Cheers Gary

Hi Joe This is a good example and something that I missed pointing out in my original post. That is if the stress isn't working, going with word reordering is a good option to avoid problems with melody variation. Also the phrase "In your eyes.. I can see.. so many wondrous things.." Is interesting because it can be stressed different ways to give a slightl different flavour. If for example the "I" fell on a stressed first beat. It could be, that you don't think your up to much, but "I" do. This would be an example of stressing a pronoun which is normally unstressed, but doing it for a purpose, and it subtly alters what the lyric is saying. If on the other hand the stresses fell on "eyes" "see" "man" and "drous" as you have written it, then it just means what it says. Without that connotation. I guess the point of this is, to go back over your lyric and consider every line,and use stress as tone of voice for your song, as well as making it flow conversationally. To use stress to put lines in context and to show what the lyric is saying. It is that extra bit of communication that will make the song the best it can be. Cheers Gary

Why bother getting stress right? The purpose of a lyric is to communicate something. An emotion a feeling or perhaps a story. For that to be put over the best way it can be, it needs to sound natural. For a lyric to sound natural and conversational, it needs to use language that we use everyday, in the way we use that language when speaking to each other. Now every multi syllable word in the English language has an agreed stress pattern. These can be seen in a dictionary. Not only that but each multi syllable word has a melody. Some syllables are pronounced with a higher or lower pitch than others. The reason for this is when we hear a multi syllable word for example "evenhanded" You will notice that the stressed syllable "hand" is a higher tone than the others. Why is this so? It is because we do not hear a multi syllable word as four separate syllables, we hear it as one entity. It is like driving a car when you turn a corner you do several things automatically without thinking about them separately. You are just thinking I am going to turn the corner. The things you need to do that happen automatically it is a learned response. So if you hear someone speaking a foreign language it always sounds as if they are speaking really fast. The reason being you do not know the agreed stress patterns and tunes of that language, so you are hearing it as separate syllables. They are not speaking fast at all. Now what does this mean to song writing? Several things. It means if you do not place your stressed syllables in the corresponding positions within matching meter lines, within a section of a song. You will end up with unnatural stresses, and forced rhymes. If you do not match the stresses in the same lines verse to verse, you are going to end up with a lot of melody variation between the verses, or a stumbling meter when it's read out aloud. What about single syllable words? Normally verbs nouns and adjectives are stressed other parts of speech are not. The exception to this is some times you may want to stress a pronoun to get a particular point across. For example "it ain't ME babe" the idea being that it is not me your looking for. Because I am not going to meet your expectations. Ok enough of the boring English lessons what to do? Well you can sit there in silence and say each of your lines as you would say them in normal speech, then go through and underline each stressed syllable. Then check that you have the right number of stressed syllable per line, in approximately the right places. Note and this is important. line length is determined by the number of stressed syllables per line. Line length is not, I repeat not determined by the actual number of syllables in a line. Now I don't know about you but this seems to be a boring and laborious way to go about things. So what else can you do? You can write new lyrics to existing songs making sure the stresses all work and you can do that in your head. Or you can get, or make yourself a series of loops. Either straight drum loops, or drums and pad, or drums and base. Then say your lyric out loud to the loop. Test the stresses, just hear them. If English is your mother tongue you will instinctively hear what is correct and what is not. So no need to go through the stress analysis on paper. Just feel the meter of it naturally. Now this can also be done by tapping a pencil in time on the desk. It is however easier to begin with to use loops. Especially if you are writing to a groove. Less to think about. Songs are meant to be heard and felt, not read. So it doesn't make any sense to be writing in silence. It is like writing in a vacuum. Say the words out loud, hear how they feel. Now and here is a bonus for writing or polishing a lyric to a loop. Prosody. Make your line FEEL the same as what you are saying. This is achieved by how the lyric is phrased, where it is positioned in the beat. To test this put on a drum loop in 4/4 time and recite this line to the beat. " I feel good today" Now the first time you recite it just say it naturally with out the drum loop. You will hear that the natural stress of this line is. "I feel GOOD to DAY" So the first way we are going to try it is as a positive statement, simply it's a great day and I feel good and all is right with the world. To FEEL this from the lyric the first stressed syllable "Good" will fall on the first beat of the bar. "I feel" are pick up notes from the previous bar. So count one two three "I feel good today" with the "I feel" as half notes on the fourth beat of the pick up bar, "good" on the first beat of the bar, "to"on the second and "day" on the third, rest on the fourth. Say it several times like that and note how it feels. If you then try this, you can get a slightly different feel. This time count one two on the pick up bar and say "I" on the third beat and "feel" on the fourth beat, then the rest of the line the same as in example one. Now it could be saying "I" feel good today, you may not , but "I" do. Now if in the context of your song this line is conveying I feel good today, but maybe I won't feel so good tomorrow, because today I'm drowning my sorrows, and tomorrow the hurt will come back. Then try it like this. Count one "I feel" as half notes on beat two, "good" on beat three, "to" on beat four, and "day" on beat one of the following bar. Now it should feel as if your actually saying "I feel good today, but". You should feel a certain doubt or anxiety to the sound of the line. Now having said all this, if you write your own melodies you should be having an aha moment right now. Because the lyric is dictating the grove, meter and feel of the melody. You will also notice the pitch. " good" will be a higher pitch and "today" will be descending, because that is how we say it in natural speech. This has to tell you, that if this statement is in a verse, Then in the corresponding line in the next verse, if the natural shape of the language doesn't move pitch wise in the same direction,you are going to have a melody variation. That is ok, easier if you don't, but no big deal it is done all the time. Just note that it is there, so that when you set the melody, in one verse you may be going up in a spot, and in another verse going down. Even if you are not writing the melodies it is your right and responsibility to get the feel to the lyric that you want. So make Margin notes. For example if you need the "I feel good today" line to be simply I feel good today. Note that you want "good" on the down beat. IE, beat one of the bar. The technical term for these phrasing techniques is "back heavy" and "front heavy" phrasing. Front heavy being the first stressed syllable on the first best of the bar. Back heavy being the first stressed syllable on the third beat of the bar. When I am preparing a lyric for melody writing. I make notations on the lyric sheet, for the phrasing notation I will write ( BH) at the end of any lines I need to have that feel, the assumption is that if it's unmarked it's front heavy. This is not a convention it's just my own short hand. So if I ask the question again: Why bother getting stress right? The answer might well be because if you don't, you have some nice words on a page. But what you don't have is a song. In summary Write to drum loops it's so much easier. Play with the phrasing to get the feel of how the lyric sounds, to match what it is saying. Happy writing. Cheers Gary