KaGy
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Everything posted by KaGy
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* Kris Kristofferson in Auckland * It was the best night ever!
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Hi Dhananjay Rap is a great for pouring out frustrations. KaGy
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Hi Summer Dawn, I'm excited about the last Hobbit movie KaGy
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Hi Deepak Welcome to Songstuff. KaGy
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Hiya Hiya Pat! We are all exceptionally fine here Welcome to Songstuff KaGy
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Hi Ashley, Welcome to Songstuff I'm sure you'll enjoy being a member, we're all very friendly here. KaGy
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Hi Miscellaneous, I felt the sadness in your poem when I read it, so the emotion is conveyed well. I would be inclined to spend the time to pull it in a bit because the idea is really good. For example, the first line, I'd take out 'never ending', it's cliche which is okay, but as poets we try to create new phrases to wow our audience that haven't been heard before. If you use a cliche, try to put a different spin on it. The first two lines in the second stanza are saying the same thing; if you want two lines, then add more 'showing' to your poem. Have you heard the expression 'don't tell, show,' if not, then look this up, it's an important skill in writing that I am still trying to master. Furthermore, I think you would like the effect of the poem with less personal references - 'I' - try a re-write reducing these in your text. I hope this helps. This poem has a rhythm, it just needs a little help. KaGy
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Kwfields979, I hope you post your lyrics, I'm always interested in what the rappers have to say. I'd need a muso. to decipher the rest of your intro. Welcome to Songstuff KaGy
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J Franke Band Reinvented, 1 Song Per Week For One Year
KaGy replied to JFrankeBand's topic in Introduce Yourself
Hi JFrankeBand, I'd like to be able to write a song a week, though it won't happen, I'm struggling to write songs, period. Lots of talented members here, enjoy Welcome to Songstuff. KaGy -
Hi Kenny, I like the topic and I enjoyed the excellent imagery, though I got confused; is the flaming abyss the lake and where did it come from. Is the lake a water or sand lake. I was drawn into the poem and then that area lost me. '...make us fly' great! Thank you for sharing. KaGy
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Hi seahorse, you'll enjoy being a member of Songstuff. WELCOME ABOARD! KaGy
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Always pretending that things are fine, All you hear is my laughter, All you see is my smile. (you might try 'shine' here) But there is more on the inside. If others were to see me from within, They would see a different person. They'll surely find an angry soul, shouting and cursing. (not always, because you pretend - as in v1, also, changes strength) A broken heart always crying and moaning, Desperately yearning to feel love's warm touch. Lost hopes and dreams once filled with life Have slowly diminished and died. Such things, of course, I tell no one Only me, myself, and I All on the inside. Smurfiee, I attempted to pull it in a bit, I think it has the same emotive impact, I hope that's okay - it's my take on it and I hope it leaves you with some ideas. KaGy
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Hi Alexx, I'm really glad you've joined, will look out for you in the forums. KaGy
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Hi Isaac, Welcome to Songstuff the place to grow KaGy
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Welcome Latifa I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for at Songstuff KaGy
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Oh yeh, an' yuv told everyone
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Because I didn't notice due to the capitalisation style of the letter 'H' Thank you for pointing that out HoboSage, and I'm really pleased you thought it was cool. You've put a space before, 'in human disguises'
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Welcome Ayrayen, I enjoyed reading your introduction, refreshing. So you compose music, do you write lyrics? KaGy
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Hi Sammy, Welcome to Songstuff - learning will help improve your - start with that What are your musical influences KaGy
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Hi DeAmber, Looking forward to getting to know you and your work. Like justsoulin says, get familiar with the forums you'll enjoy the banter there I'm sure. KaGy
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It's in the Poetry Forum
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as you've been and if it helps rock your And I thought you'd complain about the font
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This poem should be read in font 'AR CHRISTY', it's creepier and without it, it doesn't really work. It wasn't until I looked at this from another PC that I realised the font doesn't show Maybe I can upload as a jpeg image and how do I do that Snakes & Wizards There’ a leon to be learned here, hy not come along dear And open it It’ full of nice urprie in human diguie open it And no I kno your ecret Don’t you kno our ecret’ afe ith me KaGy
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Hey Tal, Everything they said and another hearty WELCOME KaGy
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Hi Viktormarkin, nice teeth Very much enjoyed your introduction, great location. Probably would have got more info. if I understood Turkish (if it is Turkish), so any chance of the lyrics so I can translate them. In the meantime, Welcome to Songstuff, I look forward to seeing more of you. KaGy
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