john

You joined a music forum to ask about a song that one search on google for “The Game discography” could tell you? Just saying....

Hey Fredrik Drop an intro post in the Introduce Yourself board and tell us all a little about you. It's not really a video critique as it's just a still. I would think you would get more feedback on the song if you posted it to one of the critique boards. An interesting image, but I don't think the text really works. There seems no artistic reason for the text placement, more that it fits there in that gap, than anything else. I would think you could do something more effective. There are a number of visualisers that you could look to generate video animations for your music. It would be more engaging as a video then. Even an audio spectrum or EQ visualisation on top of the image would have been more engaging. Musically, I liked it. Very pleasant. The introduction of the synth parts was beautiful. It added a real dimension to the piano piece. Musically you could have done a bit more to either develop the synth part, or let the synth come to the fore and let the piano be the support to introduce more of an interaction between the two. I enjoyed what you have, so I am deliberately looking for ways you could develop or improve it, in my opinion. I completely get that you might not want to, but isn't that why we post to get feedback? I can move your post over to a better forum, although you will be expected to provide comments and suggestions to other members on their work. Just let me know and I will move it. I hope this helps. Cheers John

Oh and remember to include your lyrics. love the guitar in your track particularly, but the vocals seem to drift in and out of key, fighting with the back line. Still I enjoyed the listen. Nice to hear something with strong classic rock roots.

Hey Simonjol, drop a topic in the Introduce Yourself board to tell us all a bit about you. We use the musician’s lounge board more for promo when it comes to posting music (it’s a general chat board), so you might get general impressions as replies or no replies at all. If you want more detailed critique, post to one of our critique boards. Note: you will be expected to contribute by offering your opinion, analysis, suggestions on other people’s work. it’s also a great way to hone your skills as you use all songwriting and production skills in critique without being encumbered by personal attachment to the work in question. You might find this useful: Welcome to our community Simonjol!

Hey Gang Of all the gigs you have attended, what are your favorites? Pink Floyd - Division Bell Tour, Earls Court, last night. 4 hours+ of music including all of Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, most of The Wall, tracks from All other albums. Awesome. Foo Fighters, rescheduled “oops I broke my leg tour”, Edinburgh. In your face Crosby, Stills and Nash unplugged tour, Glasgow. Fantastic songwriters, great harmonies Radiohead, TRNSMT festival, Glasgow. The same set as the televised a Glastonbury set a few weeks earlier. Awesome. Paul Rodgers and Bad Company, boy can he sing There are so many more I could look too . AC/DC, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Deep Purple, Fleetwood Mac, Massive Attack, Groove Armada, Hawkwind, Jethro Tull, Rory Gallagher, Feeder, Robert Plant, John Martyn, Motörhead, and many, many others Loads of Rock, electronica, chill out, folk, pop, indie, even some classical. Great memories, some really inspiring stuff. So, share your best gigs! Cheers John

Hey Michael, Welcome to Songstuff! Discovering the music of an artist that is new to me is one of my favourite things. Enjoy the journey!

I more or less agree with Mike re- the sections of the orchestra not all playing together. That will require breaking the orchestra into component parts. A little more work but more effective result. The strong orchestral rhythms are simply fighting with the percussion, not complimenting, and it’s leading to a confusion of sound as they vie with each other. It’s like a straight 4/4 piece and a reggae back line... a struggle that never settles. My guess would be that if you highlighted both parts and viewed the notes in your DAW the clashing rhythm would jump out.

Hey Astronun, welcome to the Songstuff family! What a nice intro! Hopefully Songstuff can help you and become a welcome part of your journey.

Hey Willie, great to have you with us. Welcome to the Songstuff family!

It's a good goal. Do you have a strategy in mind? Self-published or are you signed? I am off to have a listen. I couldn't agree more: written agreements upfront are the way to go. You can always amend by consent after the fact. It's liberating to have the biz dealt with, no elephant in the room, so to speak.

Welcome to the Songstuff family John! It’s good you have some valuable experience on your side. What are your musical goals just now?

Have you removed the track Scr1pter? I was just going to have a listen.

hi Welcome to the Songstuff family! Are you a musician? Lyricist? Both? What's your jam? Cheers John

Hey Jonathan, welcome to the Songstuff family! Critique is one of the best things you can do to improve your writing. You exercise all your songwriting skills without your decisions being compromised by personal attachment. Plus you get to learn a little from every person whose work you review and even from other people performing critique, because critique is first and foremost a discussion. Every critique is a bit like a little collaboration with all the people contributing to the topic. Critiquing the work of others is one of the fastest ways to improve your own work. All you can do is try your best. Be detailed, explain your thinking. Ask questions. Your writing will improve and so will your critique. Even someone who started writing yesterday can contribute, so don't let inexperience put you off. Dive in, swim about, encourage others to critique. Only other advice I would offer is: Be honest but don't bash people with comments. Give comments with the hope they take up your suggestion because they are inspired by your insight and suggestions. You don't need to put everything in that first message. Prioritise the issues you see and work on a couple at a time Be constructive. That doesn't mean "say nice things" It means "make suggestions, give useful information and good ideas" Remember to tell them what works, not just what doesn't work or could work better.

Hmmm. This could be a long post, but I don't really have time right now. Meanwhile I will try to mention a few things to look out for. Some main issues: Forced rhymes The wrong rhyme scheme for the emotion Using the wrong language for the 'voice' of the song Inconsistent rhyme scheme Using unnatural phrasing/not being conversational Lacking an emotional dynamic Using words / melody / arrangement that do not compliment each other, that fight each other Being inconsistent with the message Lacking clarity or commitment to the message Not having a message Being inconsistent with the vehicle Not using or understanding hooks / placing hooks in the wrong or poor place Using hooks that fight each other Not using a range of hooks (lyrical, melodic, rhythmic etc) Not using a clear and complimentary structure Not using song real estate wisely Cramming the story into one verse and chorus leaving the rest of the song to filler and pointless repetition Not using repetition wisely Not understanding the use, and therefor power, of different sections of a song Giving away the song lot in the title Giving away the entire song plot in the first verse Overusing the same structure/theme/story/concept across too many songs Not using prosidy Lyricists not understanding lyrics are not a poem. Lyrics have some unique needs because they have to fulfil musical needs. The words do not exist alone in a song. I'll come back to what you can do about them... gotta go! Cheers John

Hey Scr1pter I enjoyed that. Emotionally it feels authentic, real and that is something in poems with strong rhymes. Partly layout on the page, but something more than that, I felt it needed a pause for breath or two. Just now it just kinda all just splurges out there, tumbling out. That might be something as part of the song, but it robs it of some emotional dynamic, the rollercoaster of intensity, or aspects of building tension etc. It's just flatly, there. Cheers John

Interesting idea and challenge Mike. It's closer to remixing than anything else!

Hey Erik, welcome to the Songstuff family! We have topic/goal based boards. It makes it easier to find conversations. We have few dedicated critique boards, plus places to showcase finished works etc. There’s a useful description here: By posting to the right board you will get a better response. With critique boards you are expected to offer comments and ideas on the work of fellow members. It helps keep critique flowing, plus often writers/producers etc learn more when it is other people’s songs. Simply by having no ties to the song being analysed they tend to make better decisions. Dive in, I hope you like it. Feel free to ask any questions. Cheers John

Hey Brett, good to meet you. Welcome to the Songstuff family. Do you have any recordings online that we can listen to?

Hi WhiteSharky, welcome to the Songstuff family! A couple of questions so I give better advice... Are you the finished artist, or a beat maker for other artists, or both? is this finished track as an artist? When you say finished, do you mean a fully mixed and mastered for release, or just mixed on your DAW? What are your goals? I will probably ask some other questions.

Hey Miraj, Welcome to the Songstuff Family! There are some additional requirements for lyrics, because the lyrics have to work with music, and music generally has some restrictions. Once you get over that it should be pretty straight forward. Many lyricists started out as poets.

Welcome to the Songstuff family Timothy

Welcome to the Songstuff family Tony!

Hey Dave, welcome to the Songstuff family! Have you done much recording?

Hi gang just to wish everyone a merry Christmas / Yule. I hope you have an awesome time. Cheers John