xena467

Ahh that was truly awesome to read. Thanks for writing it. I just have a few comments to make it a bit stronger still. The line "Back is up against the wall," not sure why you put it in there. Because you're standing tall, right? So why would your back be against the wall. Maybe you could switch it with the second line. Back is up against the wall But I'm standing here, standing tall. And for the second verse: When you take a look inside Give no room to run or hide And anything that comes along Find out if its right or wrong I don't really get it. Do you mean When you take a look inside me Give no room to run or hide from me ? I think it should be clearer on what you're trying to say. I mean, why would someone look inside you if he has your back against the wall? Who are you asking to look inside you? I'm confused lol And these lines And anything that comes along Find out if its right or wrong I'm not sure what you mean. I'm thinking it should be clearer. BUT...these 3 stanzas below are AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D In my world I am the king Love and passion from within I am everything and more Lost the battle won the war (love this line especially) Life is there to take control Hear it coming from your soul Boiling over flowing through All those thoughts that come to you Now your living in today Find your true self on the way Ever more and ever true (so nice ) All the love you thought you knew (Hmm..maybe "All the love that comes to you" instead?) In my world I am the king Heart discards of fear and sin ('discards' is a verb, yes? Not a noun..So it should be "Heart discards fear and sin" not "discards of fear and sin") I am everything and more..Other things rhy Life is what's worth fighting for (awesome ) I am karma i am lust (Ok um...what does lust have to do with karma? Seems like two separate things..Other words rhyme with trust..must, just (as in, "keeping all causes just") Raw emotion sacred trust (not sure what raw emotion has to do with trust, maybe choose words that relate more) Everytime I fight I win Cause in my world I am the king. Ok this might be a judgement call, but I don't see "win" and "king" rhyming..Maybe you could say "Winning is my treasured thing, cause in my world I am the king" Ok that's my critique. Hope you take it with good humour. I wouldn't have been so thorough if I didn't think it was such a great song to begin with

Er...Sorry for the font size, I'm still experimenting to get a good size that's easier for me to see haha (yes I'm "4 eyed," but even then...)

Yeah that's me haha Well the name is more tongue in cheek than anything. I look nothing like her.

Heya guys, thanks for the warm welcome

Hiya I'm from Alberta, just looking to collaborate with some musicians on songs. I'm all about bringing in some new energies to the music world. Seems it's too sex and violence oriented nowadays. I'm looking to create songs that will boost everyone's self assurance and power so they can help create a better planet. I'm inspired by the Eminem song "Beautiful." It was so depressing I thought I should offer my 2 cents into the music world. But I don't play any instruments or anything. I can sing but I don't like the sound of my own voice on tape haha So, if you want some inspirational lyrics for a high energy song, gimmee a shout. Thanks Kim