Living For Me

[Pipes1975]

Before I give these lyrics I need to mention where they come from.

This is revised from 'Hero of War' by Rise Against.

Although the lyrics to 'Hero of War' were already amazing, they were somewhat limitting. I've never been a soldier!

So I changed the lyrics to better suit me, but kept all the same emotions the song was meant to make me feel .

These lyrics represent me having a conversation with the old man I'm afraid I will one day become!

I hope you enjoy, here are my lyrics:

Living For me (revised from 'Hero of War' from Rise Against)

I said sir,

Have you always been blind?

Did you question your faith?

What truth did you find?

Do beliefs, control you so much, that you can't free your mind?

He said I tried,

But no answers were found,

The more questions I had,

The more my mind spun round,

So I grabbed hold, of something strong to believe, that I could take to the ground.

I was living for me,

Their's no unity,

And if our lives are controlled,

How can we be free?

I never did know,

What direction to go,

So I gave into the greed,

To feed my ego.

And then,

I worked 9 to 5,

Hated the routine,

But that's how I'd survive,

Money, would motivate me, it's what gave me my drive,

Others expense,

Is where I'd find success,

And if that caused any grief,

Well I couldn't care less,

Was too consumed, with what revolved around me, I never thought of progress.

I was living for me,

Their's no unity,

And if our lives are controlled,

How can we be free?

I never did know,

What direction to go,

So I gave into the greed,

To feed my ego.

So now,

As I'm looking back,

I can't figure out,

How I got on the wrong track,

But emotions, get triggered inside, when my beliefs are attacked,

Peace,

And Harmony,

Were once dreams of mine,

That I can no longer see,

One time, I was so full of Love, whatever happened to me?

I was living for me,

I was too blind to see,

But I'd give it all up,

Just to taste unity,

I never did know,

What direction to go,

I lead myself astray,

A long time ago.

I said sir,

Have you always been blind?

Did you question your faith?

What truth did you find?

Edited September 3, 2009 by Pipes1975

[Pipes1975]

I should have put this in the lyrics forum, not poetry - ops

Hope I still get some readers and/or coments .

[Dennee]

Before I give these lyrics I need to mention where they come from.

This is revised from 'Hero of War' by Rise Against.

Although the lyrics to 'Hero of War' were already amazing, they were somewhat limitting. I've never been a soldier!

So I changed the lyrics to better suit me, but kept all the same emotions the song was meant to make me feel .

These lyrics represent me having a conversation with the old man I'm afraid I will one day become!

I hope you enjoy, here are my lyrics:

Living For me (revised from 'Hero of War' from Rise Against)

I said sir,

Have you always been blind?

Did you question your faith?

What truth did you find?

Do beliefs, control you so much, that you can't free your mind?

He said I tried,

But no answers were found,

The more questions I had,

The more my mind spun round,

So I grabbed hold, of something strong to believe, that I could take to the ground.

I was living for me,

Their's no unity,

And if our lives are controlled,

How can we be free?

I never did know,

What direction to go,

So I gave into the greed,

To feed my ego.

And then,

I worked 9 to 5,

Hated the routine,

But that's how I'd survive,

Money, would motivate me, it's what gave me my drive,

Others expense,

Is where I'd find success,

And if that caused any grief,

Well I couldn't care less,

Was too consumed, with what revolved around me, I never thought of progress.

I was living for me,

Their's no unity,

And if our lives are controlled,

How can we be free?

I never did know,

What direction to go,

So I gave into the greed,

To feed my ego.

So now,

As I'm looking back,

I can't figure out,

How I got on the wrong track,

But emotions, get triggered inside, when my beliefs are attacked,

Peace,

And Harmony,

Were once dreams of mine,

That I can no longer see,

One time, I was so full of Love, whatever happened to me?

I was living for me,

I was too blind to see,

But I'd give it all up,

Just to taste unity,

I never did know,

What direction to go,

I lead myself astray,

A long time ago.

I said sir,

Have you always been blind?

Did you question your faith?

What truth did you find?

I think you're right that it is a song, not a poem. If you want to turn it into a poem, read some Rumi (Coleman Barks translations)--it has that flavor. I like where it's coming from. If it is a song, why not go ahead and take that obvious rhyme in the refrain(?): "So I gave into greed/my ego to feed." From part of the structure, which could be simplified btw, and from what you say about it, it reminds me of that song "Cat's in the Cradle" (was that Cat Stevens? I guess a lot of people have covered it)--anyway, it's about a guy who never has time for his son, and when his son grows up he never has time for his lonely old dad, and the dad realizes "My son's a lot like me." So there's some kind of progression and comparison with the old man and the moral recognition that "hey, I am like that or I could easily end up like that." I think if you work on it you can clarify it even more. Good idea--go for it!

[Pipes1975]

I think you're right that it is a song, not a poem. If you want to turn it into a poem, read some Rumi (Coleman Barks translations)--it has that flavor. I like where it's coming from. If it is a song, why not go ahead and take that obvious rhyme in the refrain(?): "So I gave into greed/my ego to feed." From part of the structure, which could be simplified btw, and from what you say about it, it reminds me of that song "Cat's in the Cradle" (was that Cat Stevens? I guess a lot of people have covered it)--anyway, it's about a guy who never has time for his son, and when his son grows up he never has time for his lonely old dad, and the dad realizes "My son's a lot like me." So there's some kind of progression and comparison with the old man and the moral recognition that "hey, I am like that or I could easily end up like that." I think if you work on it you can clarify it even more. Good idea--go for it!

I appreciate the comments.

But I have 2 problems with this older lyrics I wrote:

#1 - it's not original, I just revised a song

#2 - I only looked at the negative side of 'Living for Me' - there should be a part 2 that is all positive

But I'm more into my own stuff now, so I doubt I'll reuse this - it served it's purpose on my journey, when I only saw one side of things!