Don't Have A Name Yet

[anonymousrap]

So this is my first post. its just a verse that lyrics for have been coming to me all day

I'm just a simple guy

camouflaged before your eyes

the guy no-one has ever truly known

the ikr no-ones never really wanted

so I came up with a plan

a plan to make them wish they had of accepted at the time

a famous rapper I would become

Anonymous

would be my name

so that is who I became

I distanced myself from people

so I could change for the better

everybody knew me as the guy

who sat in the corner

just listening to his beats

it may sound like a bit of a cliche

ya know, the loner in the corner

kinda like a mourner

except I wouldn't get any stronger

and I couldn't wait any long

to become a famous performer

and like I've been sayin from the start

I'm not doing this for the money and the fame

only for the music and the fans

but for now its time to say cyanara cause the chorus is about to come into the fray

[anonymousrap]

Oops meant One not ikr

[Dhananjay M Venkatesh]

sorry but...i really don't get this at all.

i don't get the tempo, you're rhyme scheme is decent but some words dont sit but i dont know how you intend to be rhyming it so...

 

peace

 

 
 

[justsoulin]

Edit is greyed out, near the Multiquote button, bottom right area. Mouse over it

[snabbu]

Verse

I am just a simple guy

Some say dumb I don't know why

Could it be that I can't read the forum rules

Yea that's must be it am I a fool

Chorus

Yes yes yes I'm an idiot

Yes yes yes I'm an idiot

Yes yes yes I'm an idiot

Now Gary that's childish stop it.

Yes I know but I promised myself I'd never grow up.

Yea well talking to yourself is not Normal.

[justsoulin]

He is talking about himself.

 

These aren't good rap lyrics, sorry. And I know little about rap.

[Dhananjay M Venkatesh]

justsoulin's right, these aren't good rap lyrics. it doesn't give the audience the feel of what you're saying. you need to get clever word play in, use metaphors and similes...also, you need to bear in mind about the target audience instead of looking at the whole thing from your perspective. what i do for my songs are, i re-read or sing my raps out loud...and i look at it from a random person's perspective.

 

peace

[Dhananjay M Venkatesh]

and also, "just listening to his beats  it may sound like a bit of a cliche"

 

you do know the pronunciation of cliche dont you?