Unsure of 'sound' on my first ever EDM/Electronica track

[GregB]

The draft version MP3 supplied here has now been deleted because the final/official version has been released. 
It can be heard (and discussed if desired) in this 'Showcase' forum link ...  
https://forums.songstuff.com/topic/57145-running-from-red-extended-mix/

 

Hi

 

In the absence of any NEW music, I'm re-visiting an old track.  Considering history is repeating itself in Ukraine, I'm giving a new twist to Running from Red from Prescient (2015).   The original is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0wp17gtQDE.  

 

Below is the first draft which passed my wince test.  The central core of the song is the original vocal and guitars (thank God for home recording and backups) placed against dance-flavoured electronic drums.  Several new themes have been added before and after this core. Although the new version sounds faster, both are 150bpm!

This EDM approach was inspired by Jeff Wayne's remix, The Spirit Of Man (DubUlladub), from his “War of the Worlds” album, a great favourite of mine. 

 

Because this is my first ever foray into EDM-style arrangement, I'd appreciate some feedback on:

• do any of the structural elements seem ill-judged or feel out of place/style?
• is the mix suitable for the instruments/sounds being used?
• is anything screeching or uncomfortably 'pumping' in your ears?

 

Please don't hold back on ... I understand that comments can only ever be personal opinions based on experience/taste.
If worried about appearing overly critical, you can message me direct.

 

Cheers,

 

Greg

 

Edited October 20, 2022 by GregB
Closing and re-posting with final version

[eclecticnosepicker]

The mix is a bit boxy sounding. A lot of EDM is really hyped. Big bass, bright treble. Your song has a lot of midrange, which would work for a rock arrangement, but it doesn't pop the way EDM should. Those synths at around 1:15 come in way too loud also, they bury everything else. The music itself doesn't really inspire to dance (down tempo harmonic minor stuff usually doesn't), but I don't think that was your intention since this was based on an old song. Just trying to electronify it?

[GregB]

On 8/22/2022 at 7:22 AM, eclecticnosepicker said:

based on an old song. Just trying to electronify it?

 

Correct.

[Glammerocity]

I can hear the Wayne influence (quick aside, my old friend and songwriting partner sang the part of Spartacus on his follow-up 15-years-in-the-making album Spartacus, which flopped massively).

 

It's not really EDM. I wasn't keen on the drum sounds or programming, which is possibly not your thing. There was a pattern over the fade-out which was good but it didn't seem to have been anywhere previously. The Waynesque synths are too loud, even for Waynesque.

 

Overall, it seems to fall between two stools. I think it'd be more you going the Floyd route, simplify the drum patterns with some real-sounding samples, go OTT on effects and get smoother transitions between sections to link it all - maybe more Cold War vocal samples? Or simplify the drums with some proper EDM sounds, lose all the guitars and Waynesque synths and half the length.

[GregB]

On 9/11/2022 at 2:44 AM, Glammerocity said:

I can hear...

Thanks. Great feedback and suggestions.

And you are correct. .. EDM is NOT my thing 😆