Delivered From Fear

[Da Prophecy]

Hey all, this is just a sonnet i wrote a while back. I have about 50 of them total. It is my favorite type of poem. Feel free to tell me what you think.

Delivered From Fear

Dear man, throw down your chains and take your leave

From your prison, for you have been set free

By courage to have a chance to receive

What was denied you by fear’s tyranny.

Go forth and try to win the woman’s heart

That you have desired for more than a year;

To her respect and gentleness impart

And let sincere words serenade each ear.

But it would behoove you to act with haste

Because time has become your biggest foe

And as he fades freedom will be replaced

With chains and shackles of eternal woe.

So go on, go on and make your first move

Or she won’t be available to love.

Edited September 20, 2006 by Da Prophecy

[Mudknot]

I liked it. It had some great lines and imagery. The only line that bugged me was "That you have desired for more than a year." That just seems too forced to rhyme with 'ear.' Maybe something like: "That you have desired throughout the years." This would just make it less specific to the readers.

Keep it up!

[Nightwolf]

I didn't have a problem with the part Andy mentioned, but the end struck me as kind of weird cause move and Love don't rhyme. Also, are you refering to time as he? That bit was confusing. All in all I liked it though

[Da Prophecy]

Hey, thanks for the responses. Mudknot, I actually like your suggestion even though that line was meant to be specific. Nightwolf, I am referring to time as he.

[Mudknot]

If it's meant so be specific, then keep it how it is. The poetry is supposed to reflect the writer.

[saran]

Like this one too and i wouldn't change a thing. Great title!

[Da Prophecy]

Like this one too and i wouldn't change a thing. Great title!

Hey saran, thanks again for your reply and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[SoxyRoxy]

Hey saran, thanks again for your reply and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I'm sure this belongs in a great book of poetry, but I'm afraid I'm just to old or to scared to grasp it's beautiful meaning fully.If I fell ito "The Burnig Ring Of Fire" June Carter/Johnny Cash, I'd be doomed into hot ashes nevere to ignite again, at this point anyway.Who know though.Damn you're a fine writer!!! Go For It Roxy

[Da Prophecy]

I'm sure this belongs in a great book of poetry, but I'm afraid I'm just to old or to scared to grasp it's beautiful meaning fully.If I fell ito "The Burnig Ring Of Fire" June Carter/Johnny Cash, I'd be doomed into hot ashes nevere to ignite again, at this point anyway.Who know though.Damn you're a fine writer!!! Go For It Roxy

Hey thanks for the flattering comment roxy. I'm not quite sure that I understand all of it though.