[Love]

This is a piano melody of this song I've compose, your criticisms I will not be taken personally I will only see it as a person wanting to help. Do you think that after listening to this (the way it is) A singer can sing this song?

 

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=495672&songID=13439581

 

LOVE
©2016 Irwin Abrigo

(1st Verse)
Sometimes 
I realize 
Like a miracle
I’m cured inside

That’s how
I’m feeling
Right now

Some people
Never fell in love
Yet they look you
In the face and say 

This world
Is a crazy place
That’s what they say

They can feel
Nor understand
What is love

They would know
Nor understand
What I’m talking about
It is love

(Chrous)
I’m 
Not the guy
Who will lay down
And die
I’m willing
To fight
To survive
And 
If love
Don’t work out right
The first time
I will
Give love
A second 
Try

(2nd Verse)
They say
Love breaks your heart
So I’d stayed away
Without a doubt

Wanted 
To find a way out
Met someone
And I fell in love

To those people
I would like to say
This world
Is a happy place

That’s what I’ll say
I can feel 
And understand
What is love

I know
And I understand
What it’s all about
It is love

(Chorus)
I’m 
Not the guy
Who will lay down
And die
I’m willing
To fight
To survive
And 
If love
Don’t work out right
The first time
I will
Give love
A second 
Try

(Bridge)
So whenever
you fall in love
Look those people 
face to face and say
This world
is a happy place
That you can say

You will feel 
And understand
What is love

You will know
And understand
What I’m talking about
It is love

(Chorus)
I’m 
Not the guy
Who will lay down
And die
I’m willing
To fight
To survive
And 
If love
Don’t work out right
The first time
I will
Give love
A second 
Try

It is love
It is love
It is love
Love, love ,love

[DUMP or KEEP]

Sure John, your comment and advice above helps a lot. I think you said everything you at to say to make me do better.

Thank you

 

Irwin

 

[DUMP or KEEP]

Hi Tom, Thank very much for the reply.  I will keep it for future reference. I appreciate you posting my post back up to the top for members more qualified to share an opinion. 

Irwin

[DUMP or KEEP]

This is some drum beats that I have put together and would like to know if I should dump it or keep it. Please give it to me (tell me the truth) I can take it.

I call this: 

Beats Together:

 

 

[Want A Band To Record Your Songs?]

Hi, I am I am interested too! But can I hear something you may had done before?.

[Critiquing Rap Lyrics]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnRXQkoeuo8

 

I Hate Myself
©2014 Irwin Abrigo
-

I look in the mirror and what did I see
I didn't like what was looking back at me
It was myself
-

I hate my head and I don't like my feet
I don't like my hands my mouth and my teeth
Don't like nose my hair and my ears also
-
(Chorus) 
I got a story to tell
I really hate myself
I got a story to tell
I've got a story to tell
-

I don't like going out and I don't like staying home
Don't like being in a crowd and I don't like being alone
Don't like to talk and I don't like to sing
Hate being a loser and i don't want to win
-
(Chorus) 
I got a story to tell
I really hate myself
I got a story to tell
I've got a story to tell
-
(Bridge)
I don't like going out to the late talk shows
I don't like watching TV and I don't like Videos
You may think that I'm crazy with the things I say and do
Like I hate being me and I don't want to be you
Don't like what I rejected don't like what I choose
Don't want to be rich and I don't want to be poor
But in life I'm trying to be the best I can 
I hope one day to be the world's number one man
-
(Rap)
You may say it in your minds about a million times
That I am an alien and I don't belong on this land
But I was born and rise right here on earth
I've walked and worked on this dirt
So just like you I have the life I'm living
i hate to shay alive but I don't want to die
Don't ever ask me why
-
(Chorus) 
I got a story to tell
I really hate myself
I got a story to tell
I've got a story to tell
-
(Change 2)
Think that I'm strong you said I am wrong
You said I am weak because I've written this song 
Never had no one to tell me that they'd loved me
Everyone I knew told me that they hated me
Need someone to show me love give me confidence
So I can love myself
Cause to the world this story 
Is what I'd always wanted to tell 
-
You got to love yourself
Don't hate yourself
Cause the greatest love of all 
Is to love yourself
-
I look in the mirror and what did I see
I like what was looking back at me
I love myself
I really love myself