arifah

Thank you, beautifuldisaster, I'm very pleased that you liked "The dandelion in Winter". Arifah

Hello Steve, I think you and Farlan would have got along really well. He would have enjoyed your wit, and you would have enjoyed his. His response to a heavy breather on the phone once "You'll have to breath up a bit, I can't hear you" was both funny and effective. I think Farlans explanation of "The Dandelion in Winter" offers a good insight into understanding his songs. It's hard to talk about the mystical and spiritual side of life using ordinary language, and Farlan's songs are a little bit like riddles and this explanation is like the key . Of course no explanation is ever going to be complete. and everyone will see and feel something different. Sometimes it's best not to try to understand at all, but just let the feeling carry you along. Farlan says it all so much better himself in this little extract from "The WayWard Way". He's talking about box decorating here, but it applies just as well to the writers and singers of beautiful songs. ------------------------------------------ We all live between a past we remember as if it were a dream, and a future, that is unknown and where in we do project our hopes,and sometimes our fears to! And who we are really? Only God knows that. And so we do not want our paintings to be like science or woodwork. We want them to be like we are, all of us, enigmas, mysteries, only ever partially understood. It's like a puzzle, a cross-word say, very engrossing until you solve it, but then having solved it, we no longer have any interest in it. A person like that, a solved puzzle would bore us. A painting like that would die as we looked at it. So dear reader, remember the Mona Lisa's smile, and do not be sad that you cannot fathom it, if you did the magic would die, it would be for you, like a card trick explained, a disappointment. We live in this mystery we call life, we are a mystery and a wonder to ourselves, and quite frankly most of us prefer it that way, and will pay good money to have our sense of wonder aroused, but not satisfied.. So dear reader, there's a few things for you to consider when painting your panels and lids, don't be a scientist, be a magician!

Hello John, I thought I might hear from you on this one, I thought you might like it. I'm glad you did. Farlan left a lot of work behind, and while I never forgot "The Dandelion in Winter" I hadn't read it since before Farlan passed away. I actually got quite upset reading the poem and his letter to Sam. I got that hit of something almost painfully beautiful that was within Farlan that made him so special to be with. The path Farlan chose was indeed a difficult one, and they weren't all ordinary difficulties either. But what was unique was the way Farlan was open to it all, the way he embraced the pain and let it inform him and change him. "I stare back at the sun" he said in one of his songs. He got burned, but he also got something else too, like a Native American on his Vision Quest, he got something special that he could pass on to other people in his songs... Arifah

One day Farlan wrote a poem called "The Dandelion in Winter" and he made a little wooden sculpture with the poem inscribed on the back to go along with it. This little wooden sculpture, also called "The Dandelion in Winter", was taken to be sold at a Folk Art Fair in Atlanta, Georgia, where it was bought by a 12 year old boy called Sam. Sam wanted to know what the poem meant, and Farlan wrote him a beautiful letter telling him all about it. You can see the sculpture, the poem and Farlan letter below... The Dandelion in Winter Old and grey greened as an elephant tree'd trunks bursting out as if into mayblossoms only forgotten where the bombs had fallen broken into his heart. stormed and formed his stammering first steps into english Special to my silence, all my petals gone Dandelion loves the winter loves the winter song In the moonlight ran little brother in his nightengown be as crazy as you want me to be he cried to the moon Be out from these barred windows soon then laughing like a bat he fell into sleep Bidden to bide his time he bided and rowed down the river in his oak tree boat just like in a story book only the sky been blue and clear did not move from one infinity to another And in the thin air your voice grows sturdy and thick you smoke cigarettes and wonder why the candle flame disappears in the sun And you wonder at the compassion of him who sent you this cool breeze sent you the winter snow Ah you say I do love the snow Strange thinks your friends.. A dandelion should blaze like the sun and die in an explosion of wishes But he who sent the cool breeze knows better how to love you Ahmeen....Ahmeen..say all his children Dear Sam, The Poem is about myself coming into the world and growing into a man. All creative acts begin with a feeling, an emotion..These feelings or emotions have in them a desire to take on an outward form and to be in the world. And so the outward form might be a painting or a statue or a song or poem..Or even a new humane being! The first verse is a discription of the bombsite where I played as a little boy with all the other kids from nearby.. "Old and grey greened as an elephant tree'd trunks bursting out as if into mayblossoms only forgotten where the bombs had fallen" I was born in 1942 three years before the world war two ended.By the time I was old enough to play on the bombsite..grass and bramble had over grown all the rubble ..Their was a tree on the bombsite that had been struck by lightening it was an oak tree. It was split right down it's trunk with a violent scorch mark. all the bark and leaves were gone.It was stark white and dead. As a little boy I felt very close to this dead old tree and loved it..In the poem I combined the memory of that lightening struck tree..with a tree we had in our back garden..It was a mayblossom tree and it burst out into brilliant pink flowers every year around my birthdayMay 13th..In my feelings the two trees are together..One is I supose new life coming into existence every year and the other is the end of life.. forgotten where the bombs had fallen means..that new life grows and has no regard for what went before.. The next verse:- "broken into his heart.stormed and formed his stammering first steps into english" This is me looking back as a grown man on myself as a child..Remembering how I felt then about where I found myself and the emotions that were in me. The next verse is somewhat mystical! :- " Special to my silence, all my petals gone...DandieIion loves the winter..loves the winter song....I felt that I had lived before and in that life before I had been a King..But this was a bit of a secrete I kept to myself..In this verse I am comparing myself to a dandielion..without its blazing yellow petals..A king now without his kingdom..Without been recognized as a king..The winter song..is the new life I had..as a little boy..No longer a king just an ordinary boy..This new life I loved.. The next verse:- "In the moonlight ran little brother in his nightengown..be as crazy as you want me to be..he cried to the moon..Be out from these barred windows soon..then laughing like a bat he fell into sleep" This is a memory of me in my attic bedroom looking out from my window very happy thinking of another day playing on the bombsite..Me a little brother to the moon.. then falling to sleep. The next two verse move me on to become a young man..My life been like a story only it was real not a story in a book.I become a teenager..My voice grows deeper I smoke cigarettes and ask questions about myself and my life..Wonder why my life is so difficult..Wonder why I love the difficulties..even enjoy them.. "Bidden to bide his time he bided and rowed down the river in his oak tree boat just like in a story book..only the sky been blue and clear did not move from one infinity to another. And in the thin air your voice grows sturdy and thick you smoke cigarettes and wonder why the candle flame disapears in the sun." The last few verses are about recognising God'd grace in giving one a quite hard life..People who know me say why aren't you famous.. rich..Why aren't you a king? But I say ..Oh no! I love the winter..I love been just an ordinary man having sometimes quite a hard life..Because I recognise God the great creator know what is best for me...Knows how best to love me.. The poem ends like a muslim prayer..Ahmeen..Ahmeen..Say all his children.. Ahmeen means..As God wills! It is an acceptance of whatever life brings you,, "and you wonder at the compassion of him who sent you this cool breeze sent you the winter snow Ah you say I do love the snow Strange thinks your friends.. A dandielion should blaze like the sun and die in an explosion of wishes But he who sent the cool breeze knows better how to love you Ahmeen..Ahmeen..say all his children.. So this is a very long winded explanation of the poem..But it could have been longer..I think though I've said enough for a bright young man to be able to get the meanings I haven't talked about..

Hello, I keep coming back to this poem, this is the fifth time I've read it. I think I must like it...a lot. Arifah

Halo a Iain, Ciamar a tha sibh? Tha mi toilichte coinneachadh ribh. We are still at the beginning stages of learning Gaelic when a lot of what you learn has no real practical application unless you want a slightly surreal conversation. But we did find some fun things to do with it - a Gaelic animation by my son Sebastian. I don't think it'll win the Oscar, but it made us laugh. You can see it here. How is Glaschu these days? I was brought up in the Glasgow Cross area of the city. I know that area has changed a lot, but I get conflicting reports of whether it's gone upmarket or downhill! Beannachd leibh Arifah

Hello Donna, Did you know that Orkney originally belonged to Norway and was given as a dowry by an old Norwegian King to an old Scottish King when their children got married. People on Orkney are as likely to be called Erland, Magnus or Inga as they are Hamish, Donald or Morag. If you or your friends ever do manage to make the trip you won't be disappointed, it's a magnificent place, wild and untamed. It was Farlans favourite place, it matched something within him, something that wouldn't be tamed . We had a house just 100 yards from the shore, and were treated on a daily basis to some of the islands fabulous birds, hen harriers, curlews, fulmars and owls with thier evil hungry eyes upon our kittens. (They never got any). Sometimes they seemed to have their eyes on us too. They swooped on us one day as we were coming down the path towards home, and I remember Farlans covering his head with his coat and sprinting for the door saying "quick we gotta get in outa the owls!" I thought that would have been a good line for a song, it never was, but Orkney was a great source of inspiration to Farlan - the landscape and the people. Arifah

Hello Donna, It's nice to meet you. The technical side of music is certainly a challenge, I've been getting on better since I found songstuff which has great resources and a nice attitude towards the novice. Something else which has helped me on the technical front has been learning Gaelic, the language of my ancestors. It's not an obvious connection, but nevertheless in my mind the learning of the Gaelic has opened the way for me to connect with a side of life that has always been a problem. We never heard of the Transalpine Redemptorists when we were on Orkney. We left Orkney in 1989 so maybe they came after that. I can't imagine if they'd been there that we wouldn't have been told. Nothing goes unnoticed or unreported on Orkney. Gossip is a way of life and binoculars the Orkney farmers ornament of choice. The nights are long - and light. Arifah

Thank you Nightwolf and John for the info on frequency selective filters. It's very nice gathering snippets of information this way. The fact that they come as a personal response or recommendation seems to make them more accessible, certainly more enjoyable than ploughing through stark facts gathered from the internet. I suppose it's the same principle that works on songstuff, if you know someone a little bit through their posts then it clears the path to go and listen to their songs, and it makes the songs more accessible too. Arifah

My husband Farlan, wrote many beautiful songs it's hard to pick just one, but this song, called "If you have lost it" is a very powerful song - it has a message, it has startling imagery and he sang it with great authority. The song is about grief and loss and how to deal with it. No matter how great your loss, whether it's a culture that's gone , or a great personal loss, if you stay with the pain and don't turn away from it you don't really lose anything. The world you're in may be different, you may be different, but the space you inhabit will be bigger, brighter and with more possibilities. The song also speaks about how your mind can trick you at times of grief, leading you away from your pain into a world of illusion and emptiness, far away from yourself. "If you have lost it" If you have lost it Well it's gone forever Until you find it again But then! it's changed It's a different shine It glitters in a different way If you have lost it It's gone forever It might only be a day You learn how to say good bye And the wild gulls fly About your furrowed brow Feed upon your years Count nothing as lost Live upon your countenance Live upon your slow smile Turn in time before you Like so many worries And you! you're so clever You play chess with oranges upon a black wall Speak of the stars moving house Speak of yourself in the fourth person And all the while the wild gulls unravel your brow...unravel your heart Unravel your heart

Hi Steve, I didn't answer your questions. Farlan recorded onto a small 4 track fostex. Some of these tapes he mixed down, some he didn't. We have a bit more room for manouver on the the non mixed down tapes, but on the mixed down tapes I want to try and increase the volume as they are a bit quiet. I've heard about frequency selective filters that can give more options for working on final recordings, do you know anything about those? Maybe when I'm rich I'll hire myself a great frequency selective filterer. Arifah

Hello John, Thank you for the info about EQ. I've had quite a lot of fun with that. I have made two more recording of Orange Blossom, one with EQ here, and one with EQ plus compression here. On the first version the compression setting I used was soft knee. On this one I used the default setting on the programme which caused almost no clipping. Obviously there's a limit to the extra volume I can get without distortion, but which of the four versions do you think is best? Farlans deep voice was responsible for the loss of many a cheap tape recorder over the years. A few weeks, sometimes days of that low rumble and like Victorian Ladies they used to faint away, never to work again. Our son is the same, you can't talk to him on a mobile phone as the timbre of his voice distorts the equipment. It's in the genes. Arifah

Hello Dave, You said some very nice things about my biography. It is lovely to have such a warm and open response, thank you. it wasn't entirely my will to be so open and so public, but that was the direction the river was flowing, and if there's one thing I've learned it's not to fight the river, you just end up bedraggled and half drowned on the river bank, going nowhere. Even if the river is flowing somewhere unknown and scary it's still best to flow along with it. You can shut your eyes and scream if you have to, just so long as you don't stop moving. I hope that you will find Farlan's music uplifting. He was a wonderful man with a lot to give, and so much of what he had to give is in his music. Arifah

Hi Steve, I'm trying to transfer Farlans music from tape to CD. Quite a job for me, since, as I said, I know nothing about music technology or technical things in general. Actually getting the music into the computer in the first place was a major achievement, and the result of a great deal of head banging. My brain seems to have been much maligned in this area, but by taking on the technical side of Farlans music, I've been able to discover why I have these difficulties. Partly school, partly other negative experiences that I didn't remember, but by re-experiencing the obstacles I was able to remembered how they got there and to some extent free myself from them. This doesn't make me a technical wizz, but it does free me up to experiment and play around without anxiety, and if I can get the odd explanation or someone to point me in a direction, as John did with EQ, I'll go and play till something does or doesn't click. It was nice of John to take the time to listen and offer advice, especially when he must have been busy. I think many people experience similar difficulties to mine in at least one area of their lives. Inhibition and confusion to an extent that they can't approach a subject that they'd like. It's often in the creative arena where people have been squashed or sat on. I remember watching a programme about famous musicians and their other interests, one was Charlie Watts and his interest in astronomy, no problem there. But there was another heavy metal singer. They showed him performing, wild, crazy, extrovert, over the top, a stranger to inhibition - or so you'd have thought. His other interest was painting. he brought out a small painting he'd done, he showed it to the camera with a shy, timid, please don't hurt me look. It was easy to see where his major malevolations had taken place, and perhaps what he should have been doing with his life. Farlan was the opposite. Painting was easy for him, his big struggles were with the music. He knew that he wanted to do music for about three years before he could even admit it. And that was just the start, he battled huge obstacles, and to get from the level of restriction and inhibition that he had at the beginning to the level of freedom and expressiveness he achieved at the end was very impressive. And that personal victory is part of the spiritual content of his music and is probably one of the reasons why listening to Farlan sing gives me great heart and hope. How does your music rate in your life. Does it come easy or have you had to struggle to get there? I visited songsparrow and listened to all of your songs. Your lyrics have a leaning towards the sad and sorrowful side of life - clearly you've not found life entirely plain sailing and you sing these songs with great feeling. I like the ballads best, the gentle songs and some of the instrumentals have a great sweetness. One thing that struck me particularly was your poem "So bright the day" It is tranquil and peaceful. You seem very at home with the theme of nature. Was this ever set to music? Arifah

Thank you for your suggestions John, Yes, please do move this part of the topic onto the recording section. I've made two version of one of Farlan's songs. One without compression here and one with compression here. The compression settings I used were :- Ratio 1.9:1 Threshold -20.4 output 1.4 release 206.0 attack 0.90 Do you think, if you have a minute, you could listen to these. I think your proffesional ear will be more intelligent than my non proffesional explanations. There is some clipping, but only on the voice. The volume of the voice and music is not equal. I hope this problem can be corrected, as there's no chance of a retake now. We did have some professional CD's made once. I'm not sure how profesional you get for £40, they were fine, but there was something missing too, something esential stripped away. Maybe it's an emotional thing for me, but when I work with Farlans music myself that essential feeling is there - even if I do lose out on sound quality. So for that reason I'm keen to do as much of the work myself as possible. I appreciate your help very much. Arifah

Hello John, Thank you for pointing out Graeme's article. It helps me a bit, especially the diagram. For the technologically challenged amongst us a diagram is worth a thousand words. I'm not even a musician let alone a music technologist, and like Rudi, I'm no good at maffs. I probably could have been, if anyone had bothered to teach me properly, but my difficulty with maths was used as a tool by evil teachers to ridicule and humiliate, and is probably the reason why I now have a mental block to understanding the technological side of music. My music programme seems as complex to me as the space shuttle controls, so far I've figured out enough to keep a steady orbit, but not enough to get back to Earth. I've asked advice before on other music forums, Perhaps I've been unlucky with the people I've run into, but they all assume a level of knowledge that I don't have and their answers leave me with more questions and feeling like a dunce. I have several problems I'm trying to grapple with, but for the moment I'd settle for an answer to this one, about compression. Farlan recorded his songs onto a four track fostex and mixed down onto ordinary casette. When transferring the casette tapes to CD some of them are a bit quiet. I understood that compression could help raise the volume a bit, so I've tried applying random settings which do raise the volume but they make the overall recording sound a lot worse. The problem that I have with Graeme's diagram is that the numbers on my controls are not the same as his and I don't understand what my numbers mean. In my mind low starts at 0 and high is 10 or 100. But the numbers on my release control start at 200.0 got down to 186.0 then up to 208 then back down to 200.0 and these make no sense to me in terms of what is low and what is high. Can you offer any insight or help with this problem? Arifah

Hello Joe, That sounds like a very exciting step you're taking, I wish you lots of luck. I don't know much about the music industry, but I do know about taking it on and going it alone, and you stand to find out a whole lot more than the workings of the music business. Taking it on like that is a bit like a journey of self discovery, or a spiritual journey in that you not only meet the obstacles that are out there that are keeping you from your dreams, you also meet the ones in yourself and by meeting them you're then in a position to overcome them. You don't always get where you think you're going, sometimes you get somewhere a whole lot better than you ever imagined. It will be interesting to hear all about your discoveries and the highs and lows that you experience discovering them. I listened to some of your songs, you have a lovely voice, friendly with a lot of character. I particularly like "the frog next door", both the lyrics and the rendition, oh and the title. I hope you don't let your audience change that one because it's an intriguing title, it catches your eye and makes you want to find out what about the frog next door. They might change it to "The Froggy song" which wouldn't quite have the same appeal. Wishing you all the best, I hope to see you on the next Country Music Award show winning the top award. Arifah

Hello Nightwolf, I'm glad you enjoyed my biography. And it was nice of you to tell me. If people were as keen to tell you positive things as they are negative I would have a very healthy ego by now. If people knew how far an appreciative comment could go they'd do it more often. Farlan once made a tape for a friend and sent it off. We waited a few weeks for a response. The weeks turned into months and - nothing! We didn't know if he loved it, liked it or ever listened to it. There was just silence. One day, several years later our friend happened to mention in passing that he couldn't drive while listening to Farlans music as it altered his state in such a way that he couldn't focus on his driving properly. It was belated and a little crab wise - but it was a positive reaction. I hope to add the next part of my biography soon. After I wrote the first part, the act of writing it and making it public brought about a great deal of inner change which is just starting to level off, so I feel that I'll be able to write the next part very soon. Best Wishes Arifah

Thank you for changing my name, John or Steve or both. I feel happier using my real name. Seraphina was the name of a lovely cat we had once when we lived on the Orkney islands. He was lovely in nature rather than appearance, being a modest beast with only a stump for a tail. We thought he was a she initially, hence the very female name, but he turned into a big tom cat, went off and did tom cat type things. He came back one evening severely mauled, he looked like he had run into a tiger at least. He never recovered from his injuries and had to be put down. But that was not the end of Seraphina. He came back to visit Farlan. Just the once, to say goodbye, and to show off his magnificent new tail. I've read Johns article on compression. It's a great article, very clear. I wonder if you could give me some settings as a starter point for Ratio threshold, output, realease and attack. It is quite difficult to work out how each different setting affects all the others, and having a place to start from would be useful. I use a programme called N-Track. Arifah

Thank you for more warm welcomes. To answer Rudi's question I'm based in Norwich now, though I'm from Glasgow originally, same as you Karen. I left Glasgow when I was 18 and haven't been there now for well over 20 years. I should think it's changed quite a bit since I was last there. I read in your profile, Karen that you are art and craft based and only recently come to music. That's a very exciting stage to be at. I came to Art when I was 23 from a point of absolute zero. No training, no preconceptions. It's a great place to be. Not knowing the rules, you don't need to pluck up the courage to break them and therein lies freedom and the chance to find something new and different. Do you have a website for your work? I always enjoy looking at other peoples Art and it sounds like you have quite a range. A forum question: Is it possible to change my user name? I'd like to use my own name rather than Seraphina but I can't figure out how to change it. arifah

Thank you all for the friendly welcome. You know Steve, It's not as sad as it might seem. We had a fantastic life together. I met Farlan when I first left home age 17. We were friends for 9 years before we became husband and wife, so he was there for all of my adult life. Everything good that happened to me happened because of Farlan and everything bad happened when he wasn't there. He gave life his all, gave his family his all and gave his music his all. He was an end of the roader, and when his personal road ended, he embraced it with the same tremendous spirit that had forged and enriched our family life for 16 years. 58 may seem like a young age to leave this world, but when you've lived as Farlan did, wide open with great courage, always seeking new challanges, new borders within himself to cross, and impacting so positively and profoundly on those who loved him, then 58 years of Farlan's life seems more like 158. And of course the spirit of Farlan is still very much here within his music. Listening to him sing continues to fill me with inspiration and optimism. When life deals another rock, another hard place, another untennable position, listening to Farlan will often help me find the way foward - just as he did so often when he was alive. Life threw Farlan a lot of curved and very dodgy balls. But he met everything with an uncompromising and indomitable will, a great sense of humour and an enormous capacity for love. These things, along with his kindness, his understanding of life, with all its struggles and imperfections, are still there. Still reachable within his music, which more than anything else that he did, contains the spirit and the essence of Farlan. So it's not really a sadness that a life like Farlan's ended so soon. Looking back we can see that it could be no other way. He burned bright and he burned fast and his light continues to shine in the wonderful work that he left behind. Arifah

Hello, My name is Arifah. I'm not a musician at all, I joined up to songstuff in order to introduce the music of my husband Farlan Hardy. Farlan passed away in 2001, leaving behind a large body of work, songs that he wrote and sung and recorded during the final three years of his life. He took up music in his mid 30's and was 58 when he died, but it is only the music from the final years that we have recorded. I've been looking through the forums these past couple of days, trying to find a post I saw a while back about compression settings, I think it was by Hari Ossa. I didn't have any luck finding that post, but I did find quite a lot of other interesting writing. I had an idea from some of the posts I read that there are quite a few people who might like Farlans music. He was a very unusual man, and his approach to music was unique, as was his approach to life and death. I haven't managed to listen to that many of the songs here on songstuff. I've tried to, but a lot of the links don't seem to work, or maybe I'm doing something wrong. I've not been much of a music fan in my life, apart from my husbands music. Of all the music that I've heard, the type of music that I like best is blues. I do occasionally catch something on the radio or television that intrigues me. I heard a song on the radio over 20 years ago that has stayed with me ever since. It was a blues song, the singer was not a young man, the recording creaked and grizzled, which added to the charm, but what was particularly lovely about this song was the way the singer kept breaking out into happy chuckles and giggles that sounded like a natural part of the song, almost like a new and delightful instrument. Another musician that I've never forgotten was an African singer from Mali. I saw him on television on an educational programme about musicians from different parts of Africa. Mostly they were very poor, barely making a living. This mans voice was especially beautiful. I thought he should be famous, making millions, because he really had something to give, but he's probably still scraping a living in Mali with only a lucky few hearing his lovely voice. So, that's my introduction over, now I'll go and continue my search for Hari Ossas post about compression. Arifah