I like it honestly your freestyle is better but, what this needs is a more colorful end lines for example you contentiously end with repeats or the same word with a sufix or prefix if you want to make it sound better drop more slants at your end or make the ends multies
"This girl ain't average, no this bitch is different
She'll pull the strings on your heart then make you feel indifferent."
​this bar has good set up in my mind but I think the second line killed it I would suggest this as a replacement for the second line.
"This girl ain't average no this bitch is different
she'll take your word ravage flick you of without even dissing"
although I like it theres more to work on.
that's my feed back.