[Love Song Challenge 3 - The Break Up]

Ty for critique it's how I wrote the music to it. The chorus comes in with the hook. Anthemic sounding if that makes sence. But I could give lyrics more depth. I tried to write it simple but ty 

[Lyrics Writing Challenge Wk1 2016]

Here's a song I wrote to express an attempt at a country southern rock song. All I play it for seem to like it. Very memorable chorus. Critique please.

 

I'm the Hick

By The Rev Jaystone

 

I live in the country on a gravel road
My wife my dog leave us alone
We take a pride in our simplicity 
To Hunt and fish live naturally
My heart is free and I believe
In my God guns and my family
So Why can't you show me some respect
Cause don't you know that I'm the hick

 

Chorus
So don't you tempt me
Cause I will recompense 
Yes I am the hick
That'll kick your ass you wimp

 

 

Like a gnat you're bothering me
Speaking with harsh words foolishly
I warned you before that I'm the hick
Now It's  fight night in the sticks

 

Chorus. Repeat

 

 

Bridge 
I live by what is an unwritten code
To drink Jim Beam so very ice cold 
Fire up some good ol homegrown 
If you dislike us then leave us alone

 

Chorus repeat

 

 

Yes I am the crazy hick
No I'm not a red neck
Yes I'm the crazy hick
That kicked your ass you wimp

[Love Song Challenge 3 - The Break Up]

This is a song I wrote about a relationship coming to its conclusion. I wish I had a singer who'd wanna work on this and my many other songs. So check these lyrics out let me know. Ty The Rev. Jaystone

 

Falling

By The Rev Jaystone

 

and she says to me
why are you still here
have you not noticed
the sign are everywhere

Pre Chorus
and she has struck a nerve
took more than she deserved
stealing my heartbeat
gone but I'm breathing

Chorus
SO CAN YOU TAKE ME AWAY
MEMORIES I CAN'T ERASE
AND NO ONE CAN FEEL MY PAIN 
I FEEL LIKE IM FALLING

So tired of chasing

flowers that Wilt away

and she says to me

there is no other way

Pre Chorus
And she has struck a nerve

took more than she deserve
Stealing my heartbeat
Your arrows still piercing

Chorus
SO CAN YOU TAKE ME AWAY
MEMORIES I CAN'T ERASE
AND NO ONE CAN FEEL MY PAIN 
I FEEL LIKE I AM FALLING