Hey Rich,
I listened to Forgiveness. I'd have to say that my first impression is that the song is pleasant. You have a pretty good understanding of the recording process and the instruments don't fight much with each other.
The mix is a little "boxy." Too many low-mid frequencies in the bass guitar are a culprit. You might want to scoop some 250 to 400 Hz out of the bass and then boost your kick drum a bit.
In general, I'd lose the brass and play that part with a guitar or synth. It sticks out to me - I liked it at first but it needs more musicianship. The long legato notes don't have much flavor.
I'd say that since you have a really good idea of the recording process, you might want to focus on going for a more unique sound. Just a suggestion... maybe reverse a part, add some fills, special effects, guitar solos, vocal samples, loops, ect.
Just a little more sizzle. Other than that, good stuff!
Anyway, what kind of monitor speakers/headphones do you use? Are you mixing in a square or rectangular room with parallel walls?
Thanks - Rob