[Drop A Link To Your BEST and LATEST Songs...]

Thanks, John!

 

Daddies and Daughters
https://open.spotify.com/track/1Nur6CM6zB3ufu3U6xxj5T?si=5932bdf361a449a6

 

https://youtu.be/ADG0CNHxkE0

 

SING ALLELUIA TO THE LORD
https://open.spotify.com/track/5DNU1fSIaYFjU2IWRpVQJu?si=73306d7c4863445a

 

https://youtu.be/wvGw2sdiXRY

 

You Comfort Me
https://soundcloud.com/jamestoffee/2020-6-you-comfort-me-1?utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

 

https://open.spotify.com/track/76yX96pJWKcarzS4qp0lLz?si=08da0f5d118b4c42

 

https://youtu.be/tDl22tB-1sI

[You, Aged 20]

Fun topic! 

[Challenge #46 There’S A Large Gaping Hole In Everyone]

Hi Les,

 

I like the ambiguity of the comic strip.  It seems open to many interpretations.

 

>I can't make this link to "Ivor has a message he wants the song to deliver: "There is no such thing as perfect, and that is okay".

 

For me, the link is everyone is assuming they are lacking something or the "hole" in their life has to be filled (they are less than perfect).....but consider that maybe nothing is lacking.....accept they are fine the way they are....like the the singer running against the wind....acceptance of who he/she is and what he/she has, or doesn't have.

 

Thanks for the listen and post.

 

James

[Melody Thief!?!?]

Hi Tom,

 

Thanks for sharing your concerns.  

 

It seems a bit catch 22 to want to create something "original" meaning not done by anyone before, but you want it to be pleasing and liked by yourself and others....the commonalities of what people like have to have something in common, but having something in common musically means someone will have done something like it before.

 

 

>James -- An interesting take on the subject indeed, but I don't think it's exactly the same issue. 

 

I saw the parallel as photography being related to the visual world and songs/music to the auditory world.

 

Thanks again.

 

James

[Challenge #46 Beauty Is Only Skin Deep?]

Here is my submission:

 

http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/39853-challenge-46-there%E2%80%99s-a-large-gaping-hole-in-everyone/?p=256220

[Challenge #46 There’S A Large Gaping Hole In Everyone]

Comic by Dresden Codak
http://dresdencodak.com/wp-content/gall ... e_wind.jpg

There’s a large gaping hole in everyone
There’s a large gaping hole in everyone
While it’s not uncomfortable it’s just a large gaping hole
There’s a large gaping hole in everyone

It’s widely considered unsightly
It’s widely considered unsightly
While it’s not uncomfortable it’s just a large gaping hole
There’s a large gaping hole in everyone

Some people fill it with religion
Others just buy a bunch of stuff
And some even fill it with other folks
There’s a large gaping hole in everyone

Solo

But I left my alone
I left my alone
‘Cause I found if you run against the wind
If you run against the wind at just the right angle
It makes a whistling noise

There’s a large gaping hole in everyone
There’s a large gaping hole in everyone
While it’s not uncomfortable it’s just a large gaping hole
There’s a large gaping hole in everyone

LANDR-Y13W2 Theres A Large Gaping Hole in Everyone.mp3

[Melody Thief!?!?]

Here is an interesting take on the subject:

 

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2014/11/of-course-its-been-done-before.html

 

[Challenge #45 Mix It Up And Start Again]

Hi John,

 

A lot of great advice there

 

 

Here's what I posted last week regarding my songwriting process in the topic 

In Topic: Writing Lyrics - Do You Know What To Write About?

:

http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/39092-writing-lyrics-do-you-know-what-to-write-about/#entry254829

 

 

I often start with the lyrics.....

 

Once I have an idea, I can get to finishing the song....

 

Until I have I idea, I have a routine that I follow until I find the idea to write about.

 

I often start with a title then ask a lot of questions about that title.  

 

For example: 

What does the title mean literally?

What does the title mean figuratively?

 

Asking the W questions:

     Who is saying this title and to whom?

     Why are they saying it?

     Where are they saying it? 

     When in the day, calendar year, when in the relationship (beginning middle end)?.....etc

 

If no ideas came, I find rhymes for each word in the title (Pat Pattison's idea)....this not only gives me rhymes, but also sparks ideas of what the song can be about.

 

If no ideas came, I'll Google some quotes or jokes about what topic might fit the title.

 

If no ideas came, I sleep on it and see what my first thoughts are in the morning.....I'm no longer surprised when I get the idea during a morning shower. 

 

Usually by this point and idea has come.....but.....

 

If no ideas came, I'll take a musical approach......I'll sing the title 3 times as the chorus to see how the words fit.

 

If I like the chords, I'll think of the tension chord I want going into the chorus

 

Then I'll think of the verse chords that contrast the chorus

 

 

If an idea still doesn't come, I will start writing a first line and then keep asking, "And then what.....and then what,,,, and then what"

 

I write a song a week.  (and have been doing so for the past 6 years)

 

By committing a week to an idea, an idea almost always gets made into a song.

 

 

Once I finish the song of the week, I spend the rest of the time reading or doing something regarding songwriting to keep learning.

 

Having developed a routine helps me make the most of my waiting time until I get that idea.

[#45 We Didn't Know You Are God]

Hi Donna, 

 

Thanks for the listen and post

 

 

So the notion of bunnies and chocolate eggs might be considered an insult both to the Old Religion (probably also present-day pagans/wiccans) and to Christianity.

Agreed

 

 

 

 

I too stumbled over lines 2 & 4, V1.

 

I understand you wanting to provide a contrast, but I feel the transition needs to be smoother, more logical. To me, the mood, the feel of V1 is quite different from that of V2.

 

 

Thanks for the confirmation.  Nice example, too.  It does keep the gist and smooths the message.

 

>But it's just one person's observation, so keep or sweep. 

Yes, that's all we can offer, and I appreciate your time in doing so.  

 

I'll keep thinking on you points.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

James

[#45 We Didn't Know You Are God]

Hi Les, 

 

Thanks for the listen and critique; especially in sharing your vision of an alternative arrangement on the lyrics.

 

I tried playing through with the new line order, but for me, the contrasting lines were spread too far apart and had a whiplash feel....probably similar to what you felt in the original lines regarding the 100s of years separation between Jesus birth and Santa Claus

 

I was setting up a contrast by stating an event from God's POV and comparing it to mankind's (or the world without God) POV

 

ie Christmas - God says birth of Jesus....World without God says Santa Claus

...same in vs 2

 

>to be honest i am not to keen on the last line of V1, might be the polka dots lol!

That's ok.  

I thought it helped heighten the distance between what Easter was meant to be ( a remembrance of the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus) and how it is celebrated today by a world without God....a bunny giving candies and eggs.

 

 

...vs 3 the future will be a coming together of POVs from God and world without God as recorded in the Bible.

 

 

Then the bridge is the world without God questioning, "What did God say about events in the past and future?"

 

>I hope you don't mind?

 

I don't mind the suggestions at all.  I appreciate your sharing.

 

 

Thanks again for the feedback.

 

-James

[#45 We Didn't Know You Are God]

....given that Bono is often accused of thinking he is god this is a funny little twist

 

LOL

 

Thanks for the listen and post

[Challenge #45 Mix It Up And Start Again]

Here is my submission:

 

http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/39730-45-we-didnt-know-you-are-god/

[#45 We Didn't Know You Are God]

#45 We Didn't Know You Are God

 

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12958295

 

When you came to us as baby we were at a loss

So we gave a man a bright red suit and called him Santa Claus

When you said you were a king, we hung you on a cross

We made chocolate bunnies and Easter eggs with bright pink polka dots 

 

Chorus

We didn't know You 

We didn't know You 

We didn't know You are God

 

When you came to us like a plague who was there to blame?

The priests took all our money to pray for our mistakes

When the church went to work killing in your name

We gathered all the black sheep and burned them at the stake

 

chorus

 

solo

 

When you come to us again riding on the clouds

Every tongue will confess and every knee will bow

The wonderment and fear is spreading through the crowds

 

chorus

 

Hey, what’d you say, Oh Son of Man?

Hey, what’d you say, Oh Son of Man?

Hey, what’d you say, Oh Son of Man?

Hey, what’d you say, Oh Son of Man?

LANDR-LANDR-Y13W1 We Didnt Know You Are God2.mp3

[Writing Lyrics - Do You Know What To Write About?]

I often start with the lyrics.....

 

Once I have an idea, I can get to finishing the song....

 

Until I have I idea, I have a routine that I follow until I find the idea to write about.

 

I often start with a title then ask a lot of questions about that title.  

 

For example: 

What does the title mean literally?

What does the title mean figuratively?

 

Asking the W questions:

     Who is saying this title and to whom?

     Why are they saying it?

     Where are they saying it? 

     When in the day, calendar year, when in the relationship (beginning middle end)?.....etc

 

If no ideas came, I find rhymes for each word in the title (Pat Pattison's idea)....this not only gives me rhymes, but also sparks ideas of what the song can be about.

 

If no ideas came, I'll Google some quotes or jokes about what topic might fit the title.

 

If no ideas came, I sleep on it and see what my first thoughts are in the morning.....I'm no longer surprised when I get the idea during a morning shower. 

 

Usually by this point and idea has come.....but.....

 

If no ideas came, I'll take a musical approach......I'll sing the title 3 times as the chorus to see how the words fit.

 

If I like the chords, I'll think of the tension chord I want going into the chorus

 

Then I'll think of the verse chords that contrast the chorus

 

 

If an idea still doesn't come, I will start writing a first line and then keep asking, "And then what.....and then what,,,, and then what"

 

I write a song a week.  (and have been doing so for the past 6 years)

 

By committing a week to an idea, an idea almost always gets made into a song.

 

 

Once I finish the song of the week, I spend the rest of the time reading or doing something regarding songwriting to keep learning.

 

Having developed a routine helps me make the most of my waiting time until I get that idea.

 

Here is a link where I post my song-of-the- week:

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/default.cfm?bandID=896900&content=music

[Challenge #44 Not Ebooks]

Hi Les and Sandy, 

 

Thanks for the listen and post

 

James

[Challenge #44 Songstuff Must Die! (A Cunning Plot Hatcheth)]

Hi Goldy and Les,

 

Both of your lyrics serve as nice tributes.  While the audience for these types of songs won't be wide.  The appreciation from the few it's written to can be deep.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

James

[Challenge #44 Not Ebooks]

Hi Louie, 

 

> 1.  There is not enough in the third line that completes it to me. 

I changed the 3rd line "Not a spineless app from a digital store"

 

> 2.  For my taste, I thought the fifth line was kind of discusting.

Some people like the smell of books....but thanks for the feedback

 

>3.  If the music was done well it's a hit in my book, paper or otherwise. 

LOL Well I was playing around with drum loops and such.....anyways

 

Thanks for the listen and post

 

James

[Challenge #44 Songstuff Must Die! (A Cunning Plot Hatcheth)]

Here is my submission:

 

http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/39526-challenge-44-not-ebooks/

 

 

-James

[Challenge #44 Not Ebooks]

Challenge #44 Not eBooks

 

Listen here:

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12944075

 

=====Revised Version=====

I want real entertainment no battery required
I want the personal touch not a Nook or Kindle Fire
I want to feel her crisp white sheets between the covers
I want to read a printed book; I'm a print book lover 

I want to curl up on the couch; slip off her jacket sleeve
I want to flip her front to back whenever I please
I want to smell her printed pagies as I spread her open wide
I want to read a printed book that keeps me satisfied

Chorus
Not eBooks
Not eBooks
Not a spineless app from a digital store
Not eBooks
Not eBooks
Not eBooks

I want to run my finger tips up and down her spine
I want to claim her as my own as I mark and underline
I want to scribble in her margins all my intimate thoughts 
I want to read a printed book cause I like books a lot

chorus

You can post your lyrics on Songstuff
Facebook or Instagram
But I don’t want to read off a flat screen tablet
I’m a print book loving man

chorus

 

 

=====Original Version=====

I want real entertainment no battery required

I want the personal touch not a Nook or Kindle Fire
I want to feel her crisp white sheets between the covers
I want to read a printed book; I'm a print book lover 

I want to curl up on the couch; slip off her jacket sleeve
I want to flip her front to back whenever I please
I want to smell her printed pagies as I spread her open wide
I want to read a printed book that keeps me satisfied

Chorus
Not eBooks
Not eBooks
I like the feel of the real deal
Not eBooks
Not eBooks
Not eBooks

I want to run my finger tips up and down her spine
I want to claim her as my own as I mark and underline
I want to scribble in her margins all my intimate thoughts 
I want to read a printed book cause I like books a lot

chorus

You can post your lyrics on Songstuff
Facebook or Instagram
But I don’t want to read off a flat screen tablet
I’m a print book loving man

chorus

LANDR-Y12W50 & Y1W44 Not eBooks.mp3

[Challenge #44]

This is the version I saw:

 

Yesterday I heard someone say

We're going to take our songstuff away

I could not believe what I heard, I pray

say it isn't so

If it weren't for posts on songstuff

We'd have no where to show

[Challenge #44]

Hi JDH, 

 

It reads like a nice tribute.  Great job!

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

James

[Challenge #43 - It Takes Two, Baby!]

Hi Goldy, 

 

Good revision  I like the play of idea on the title, b/c usually a long night is something one's not looking forward to, but you put a positive spin on it.

 

Suggestion:  Consider focusing on "the moment" the couple is reunited on the road.  Right now all the back story takes the listener/reader out of the moment  and fills in a bit too much of the hope and dream aspect of the relationship for a day to have passed.  Maybe focus on one aspect of what happened in the explosive event and tell it from her POV and his POV.

 

Thanks for sharing.

 

James

[Challenge #43 It Takes Two]

Hi Goldy, 

 

Thanks for the listen and post

 

=====

 

>3rd line 2nd verse seemed like it needs a tweak to me,

 

***Poof ***line changed to "hung your shoes from a tree"

 

Thanks, Les.

 

 

-James

[Challenge #43 - It Takes Two, Baby!]

Here is my submission for this topic:

 

http://forums.songstuff.com/topic/39452-challenge-43-it-takes-two/

 

....hopefully my daughter will be able to sing the girl part when she isn't so busy with homework

 

Song updated....My daughter was able to record the girl part tonight and it sounds MUCH better

[Challenge #43 It Takes Two]

Challenge #43 It Takes Two

 

Listen here:

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12937196

 

=====Revised Version 1=====

 

Boy: I put a night crawler down your Sunday dress

Girl: I poured chocolate milk inside your desk

Boy: I sat behind you on the bus made obnoxious noise

Girl: I outran you in front of the boys

 

Boy: I lit firecrackers on your dad’s front porch

Girl: I laughed when you lost your swimming shorts

Boy: I put sand in your sandwich; hung your shoes from a tree

Girl: I padlocked your bike and tossed the key

 

Chorus

Boy: Ooo it takes two, baby

Girl: Ooo it takes two, baby

Both: It takes two

 

Boy: I did a party dance when you moved out of town

Girl: I had a permanent smile without you around

Boy: But look at you now back and all grown up

Girl: And look at you boy still playing with trucks

 

chorus

 

Boy: Well the Good Book says to love your enemy

Girl: We’ve had our share of fights and misery

Boy: So what’s say we kiss and make up real nice

Girl: Just buy me a beer before I think twice

 

chorus

 

=====Original Version=====

Boy: I put a night crawler down your Sunday dress

Girl: I poured chocolate milk inside your desk

Boy: I sat behind you on the bus made obnoxious noise

Girl: I outran you in front of the boys

 

Boy: I lit firecrackers on your dad’s front porch

Girl: I laughed when you lost your swimming shorts

Boy: I put sand in your sandwich and stole your diary

Girl: I padlocked your bike and tossed the key

 

Chorus

Boy: Ooo it takes two, baby

Girl: Ooo it takes two, baby

Both: It takes two

 

Boy: I did a party dance when you moved out of town

Girl: I had a permanent smile without you around

Boy: But look at you now back and all grown up

Girl: And look at you boy still playing with trucks

 

chorus

 

Boy: Well the Good Book says to love your enemy

Girl: We’ve had our share of fights and misery

Boy: So what’s say we kiss and make up real nice

Girl: Just buy me a beer before I think twice

 

chorus