Hands

[jackspaldingdavis]

Any opinions/critique on this would be helpful. This is the first "poem" I have ever written. I mean alot of my songs could be poems but i've never started writing with the intention of poetry before.

The texture of everything, skin and wood

from touching glove hands to bearing books

And I can feel, so short, so sweet

relief of minds which overheat

Hands which linger around a waist

a silent stroke, a lustful taste

In our arms, we are displeased

we lack protection, shaking knees

We're over, come and compensate

7 days too long to wait

With fingers out and fingers in

a sudden urge in ashy dim

light and fire, heads and bone

softly spoken words of stone

[jimharmon]

A poem depends on words alone to paint a picture in the readers mind. There is no music to distract or add to the lyrics as in a song

The reader needs to be able to almost immediately understand what the words mean in the context they are given.

The thought or story line needs to lead to a conclusion that makes sense to the reader.

A poem certainly can have many interpretations but all must be logical and explainable on their own. It is not always known what the author intended.

Meter and rhyme are important here. Even a lot of prose has poetic structure

A good poem, short or long, should leave the reader thinking or at least understanding what he read.

Frankly, your first stanza I don't get at all. 2,3,4,and5 are cool, 6 in ashy dim ( what the hell does that mean?) 7 i'm not sure but I like the phrase " softly spoken words of stone."

Think about what you are trying to say, then find an easy flowing way to say it.

I hope this helps some.