Death Bed

[Shane]

In the midst of fuel and fire

I'll kiss your scarlet lips

And see my smile burn to ash

As death finds its grip.

I apologise for everything

I have and haven't done

Like all other remorseful fools

Before they're finally done.

So say goodbye to love

As I struggle to keep my stare

And hold your head to the skies

So I can see you when I'm there.

[MissMartha]

As a fun exercise, I read your lines but dropped the first word in each line. It worked pretty good except I kept the second "I". it adds more interest and tightness. I like where you are going. What would this be in the end?

[Trimmtrabb]

I agree about dropping the first word on each line, it doesn't work for every line but generally creates a more ambiguous and interesting poem.