Dee

Hello all This has gone very quiet hasn't it? lol Merry Christmas to you all. Dee

I'd be tempted to keep it simple. Get a pen and paper a list every thought and emotion that comes into your mind. Already, by reading your post, I have come up with: confused torn please/pleasing swirling and distorted = a kaleidoscope contrasting conflicting indecisions bravery crossroads Keep at it and I am sure there will be an obvious hook that jumps out. Regards Dee

Good idea! I'll have a think and see what I can come up with.

Hello, I'm back and relaxed, refreshed and rejuvenated (spelling? I'm terrible at it.) It seems a lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. Shocking to know about the riots! Anyway JD, I know you've a lot on your plate at the moment so this is for when you're ready to look at it. I've progessed my story by adding a 2nd verse. I've kept the first verse the same only making one amendment - swapping FOREVER to ALWAYS so it should fit better. I agree, the chorus is the biggie and I wanted to make it as powerful as possible as well as keeping it simple. I've changed the title to The Promises we Make. The chorus ends with the word PROMISES but it could be changed to THE PROMISES WE MAKE. Also JD, you end a line with OTHER while I end it with MAKE which, obviously is a syllable short, which obviously could be a problem. But if you like the story, then this is something we can work around. The Promises we Make © Denielle West - August 2011 V1 Something tells me Somethings so wrong The smile that lights your eyes Is now dead and gone Someone took you To have and always hold The honeymoons over His love has turned cold Pre-chorus He criticizes all that you do (Yet) you got somebody here who loves you Chorus I dont wanna see Another tear streak Sometimes we have to break The promises we make We can justify We can reason why Why we have to break Promises (or) Why we have to break The promises we make. V2 Sometimes I curse Timing in life If I had met you first You would be my wife Fate has served us This chance to be as one I know I ask a lot And your heart is torn Pre-chorus Id turn my back on my love for you If I knew he worshiped you too Chorus MP and Danka - Your songs are progressing well. Great work!

Hey JD Thanks for your comments. I'm about to go on holiday in a couple of days time but will look at it again when I return. Cheers Dee

Hungry like the Wolf - Duran Duran

Close to You - THe Carpenters

Sweet child of mine - guns and roses.

Country Roads - Hmmm and the version by... Olivia Newton-John

The Air that I Breathe - The Hollies

Bobby's Girl - Susan Maughan

Knowing Me, Knowing You - Abba (again)

Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum

Mamma Mia - abba