At this point, the 13 Reasons Why Joe is Going to Hell album looks like this—seven “religious†songs, and six that I think of as the Bad Guys Series (things you will go to Hell for). Not in order, yet:

RELIGIOUS:

Can I Have Your Car When the Rapture Comes?—slow & sleazy

Pole Dancing for Jesus—slow, sleazy Gospel

Song for Charity (and Faith, and Hope)—fast bluegrass

The Resurrection Blues—mod. fast blues

The Abomination Two-Step—fast polka

Bungee Jumpin’ Jesus—deliberate Gospel

Born Again Barbie—rockabilly

BAD GUYS:

The Dead Sweethearts Polka (serial killer)—fast polka

In the Shadows, I’ll Be Watching You (stalker)—slow two-step

Dirty Deeds We Done to Sheep (bestiality)—Johnny Cash-style rock ‘n’ roll

Angel in Chains (suicide)—country death metal

When They Die, I Put Them in the Cookies (cannibalism)—fast bluegrass

Electronic Love (Internet porn)—slow & sleazy

“Born Again Barbie†was co-written with Scott Rose, and I’ll need to keep track of him so I can send him his share of the copyright royalties; rest of the songs are by me. I didn’t include “The Ten Commandments†on the list, because it is pretty seriously religious (except for that eleventh commandment about the condoms), or “I Broke My Girlfriend,†which I wrote for the Broken Record album we gave Beth Williams after she broke her leg (and a few other things), because it sounds like it condones abuse (though it doesn’t), and I do have standards, low though they may be. I’ve never performed that song in public, and don’t intend to.

There are a few of the songs that are already on existing albums, but there are reasons to do them again. “Bungee Jumpin’ Jesus†was on the Santa’s Fallen album, but I’d like to re-do it; at the time, I hadn’t figured out the reason people were having problems with the break is they wanted instinctively to “default†to the music from “What a Friend We Have in Jesus†(and as soon as we started doing that, nobody had problems any more). The “Cookies†song is on the Maslov Project CD, Songs For Kids, and the Coventry songwriters group in England put “In the Shadows†on their Best of… CD, but both those were Tascam recordings, and I know the songs will sound better with a real band of good musicians.

How to record these? With Mike Simpson’s studio still not in business, my best shot may be Jim Loughrie. His equipment is pretty good, and he knows how to use it—and he’s done a bunch of recent recording up at Jane’s, taking advantage of the lovely acoustics. I’ll see how “The Resurrection Blues†comes out first. Any standard combination of musicians would work for most of these songs, with (of course) both a “whiny lead†and “non-whiny lead.†For “Dirty Deeds,†though, I do want a rock ‘n’ roll sound, and “Angel in Chains†has got to be heavy metal. Do I need to use the same band for all of these? Not necessarily.

I might as well start working on a cover design now; I will need one, and like last time I know it’ll take a while to get it exactly right. One possibility: a gaggle of Byzantine religious icons, Photoshopped so they’re all playing electric instruments.

Joe