Though toned down in mood [er, me that is], I felt deeper satisfaction playing the 2nd time w/ Loonan and Mischke. Somehow

this doesn't seem possible; however, taking any and all gifts, thank 'ee. (Edit to add...DOH! A big part due to Mike playing bass

this rehearsal. And I could barely hear him! Thankfully, Tommy is percussive to no end. We'll have to switch those monitors

next time. Don't say switch the cords - this is a situation like when we were 16...the cords cannot be switched, we'd blow somefinn

out - cords ain't long enough anyway to switch. It's meatball mechanics ala The Red Green Show. Oh yeah, and I was down a high hat -

or more precisely high-hat action, which I heavily rely upon. But took thee lemons, made lemonade. Another happy accident which made

me a better player. I LOVE music! I LOVE MUSICILOVEITILOVEMUSIC).

And a word about dynamics: thank you, all my teachers and conductors and bandmates and bar owners and mother, brothers and

neighbors who'd all said at one point turn that shit down! Your plea has been answered! I know how to do it. I am very grateful for

this. My rehearsing mates are grateful, too.

I'd taped the 1st rehearsal, noticed a warp with my playing , sought to correct it. And I did. There is beauty in

knowing how to do this! I love the maturity with a sweet tenderness. I love it in musicians, and esp. my friends.

I am so happy drumming again, and being a singing-drummer. It is one area in which I feel uniquely suited,

masterful even, to know 100% I can make something good. We played some standards - gosh that sounds

boring, except Angel From Montgomery is like a part of my soul. I will layer Raitt upon Prime & Tommy Mischke.

Tommy likes the idea of Mike and I playing acoustics alone for a couple songs; they want to showcase me, I am humbled by

this. So it looks like we'll do a cover, then one of mine. I found a song suitable for that night, and played it for Tommy.

Callouses are once again becoming a welcome part of life and am beginning to practice guitar again, which y'all know

means so much to me.

Took a break during rehearsal, listened to those two wailing thru the house walls while I drank

Rosie's near beer, spoke to the children via phone and ate brocolli from the garden.

Later, basking in the satisfaction/commradery of 2nd rehearsal, thoughts came to me of the experience of having to

actually flee my home with my many children. I cried. In the midst of this I felt surrounded by love, the love of my children

especially, and again I cried.

It's been nearly seven months since fleeing. Seven months!

I know what it is to lay down my life. Someone is giving me it back again.