ames1212
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Posts posted by ames1212
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Hi Jean,
That is all I do too. I was replying to your comment about playing around with it in a blues rhythem, I thought that implied that you were playing,I always enjoy collaborating with others.I saw your reply and thought it meant musicaly.
Amy
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Hi jean,
lets co write on it, I only do lyrics. I was thinking country, but a bluesy feel would sound cool too. I would love to hear what you come up with. All my finished songs are country, so it would be cool to have a bluesy one.
Amy
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Hi Teek,
I like that too. Although I would have to change my rhyme scheme on the others lines, butt hat is a great line.
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3 hours ago, Peggy said:
Hi Amy,
A couple of suggestions ..How about?
"Then you rode in rebellion bound"
"Jimmy Hendrix blasting down/up the turnpike". ?
Peggy
Hi peggy,
good to see you! That was a good suggestion, but it felt a little log, so I went a different direction.Thanks for the insight though.
Amy
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I grew upcountry as a blue tick hound.
A Myrle Haggard was my kind of sound.
B taught southern values since I was three.
.A Then you walked in Rebellion Bound.
B And you rocked the country out of me.
A Yeah you rocked my country when you came to town.
A Wearing ripped jeans riding on your bike.
A. Jimmy Hendrix blasting all night.
B Your a City boy , so different from me.
A always been a sucker for the bad boy type.
B But you rocked the country out of me.
A yeah you rocked the country out of my life.
Bridge
Your the kind mama warned me about,
But it's a little late for the warning now.
Your a Christian girls worst dream.
But you came on strong like james Dean.
And you rocked the country out of me.
Yeah you rocked the country out of me.
My sister said I was acting different.
needed to be baptized by the holy spirit.
Because I've become a rock N roll queen.
The Baptist are whispering I can hear it.
Because you rocked the country out of me.
You rocked my country, yes you did it...
Outro
Yeah you rocked the country, yeah you rocked the country, you rocked the country out of me.
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A I grew upcountry as a blue tick hound.
A Myrle Haggard was my kind of sound.
B taught southern values since I was three.
.A Then you walked in Rebellion Bound.
B And you rocked the country out of me.
A Yeah you rocked my country when you came to town.
A Wearing ripped jeans riding on your bike.
A. Jimmy Hendrix blasting from the mic.
B Your a City boy your so different from me.
A I'm a big sucker for the bad boy type.
B But you rocked the country out of me.
A yeah you rocked the country out of my life.
Bridge
Your the kind mama warned me about,
But it's a little late for the warning now.
Your a Christian girls worst dream.
But you came on strong like james Dean.
And you rocked the country out of me.
Yeah you rocked the country out of me.
My sister said I was very different.
needed to be baptized by the holy spirit.
Because I've become a rock N roll queen.
The Baptist are whispering I can hear it.
Because you rocked the country out of me.
You rocked my country through all of this.
I will tweak it later, there is my last verse.
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9 hours ago, Skin said:
John! Good Goobers? Where the bugger does that saying come from? I like it though lol.
I am pretty much with the mic thing as well, and this lady can write real well.
Les
Hi les, Thanks for the sugestions and kind words. Glad to see you are still at it.
Amy
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17 hours ago, JH Michaels said:
Good Goobers! You came up with that "real quick" ? sheesh, nicely done.......and I like the theme. Just a couple of nits from me.....I know mic rhymes with bike...but....mics don't blast anything so I have a hang up there....the other nit is that you should have another verse after the bridge .......so if this is what you can do real quick....I'd love to see what you add to the song.
17 hours ago, JH Michaels said:Good Goobers! You came up with that "real quick" ? sheesh, nicely done.......and I like the theme. Just a couple of nits from me.....I know mic rhymes with bike...but....mics don't blast anything so I have a hang up there....the other nit is that you should have another verse after the bridge .......so if this is what you can do real quick....I'd love to see what you add to the song.
Lol, Jh I have never heard that expression before, lol. Thank you. I thought of just repeating verse one and two, does it need another verse if you repeat it? I was trying to think where to go from there. I will work on some more to get it a little more blanaced and try to come up with one more verse. Thanks for the compliments.
amy
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On 9/12/2016 at 6:00 PM, JH Michaels said:
Here's my submission....I think I have the proper form and all the ingredients required ....color: crimson, black, white publicfigure: God (why not go for the top) music genre: opera and number: one. I'm still working out the final chord progression, change-ups and transitions, but here are the lyrics I'm using. Any comments are welcome!
Innocent Eyes
Copyright 2016- JH Michaels (all rights reserved)
Verse: 1
We’re born into this world with innocent eyes
With no distrust and none to hate
But we learn from those we trust the most
Mothers, fathers, and pious faith
That shades our innocent eyes
Verse: 2
Some shout out that “It’s the word of God”!
But God doesn’t say these things
And He shudders at the crimson opera
Each demonic voice sings
To destroy our innocent eyes
Bridge:
We’re one and the same
Each and all
Only learning to walk
After we crawl
We’re just a blank slate
Born by fate
We often don’t realize
We have lost
Our innocent eyes
Verse: 3
Oh tell me the colors of tears or blood
When skin is white or black
The answer is deep in our soul
All we have to do is look back
Through innocent eyes
Outro:
We’re all the same
Through innocent eyes
We’re all the same
Through innocent eyes.
Inst then fade
End
Hi JH,
You have a great idea here and you have used the innocent eyes very well through out the song. I would like to know a little why the singer felt we went astray and where it went wrong. To me that would complete the idea a little more. I loved the idea.
Amy
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On 9/9/2016 at 6:07 PM, Karanis said:
Well, shoot... I can't meet the requirements on the references, but I can give out a base Idea.
If you could help a little, I might be able to take the idea and put it into the requirements.
Here:
(First Base Instrumental)(Choir)(End Choir)Silent shouts in oblivion
Echoes off of obsidian
The dying child of light
Can sing of true sinHere in the night, I lie
Out of a life supply
Floating eyes will wander
As I slowly choke and dieI can hear the gates opening
To the great all-knowing
My time has now comeDeath is now showing
I've become numb
To the last bell tollingNow in the dark, I sleep
With shadows of the deep
In my lies I surrender
To the others who will weep(Second Base Instrumental)(Wait, don't leave me!)
(There's nothing here to foresee!)(I don't belong here!)
(Death, come take me!)(End)Hi Karanis,
You do have a lot of dark imagery here and that can make for interesting songs at times. I feel that the rhymes are not conversational and very forced in places. It reads more like a poem. Also there is so refrain line that is consistant through out the song, so it makes it seem clunky. On a song with no chorus there needs to be repetition in every verse to make it flow and have a structure that moves rather than creep along. On the first verse you have: Silent shouts in oblivion
Echoes off of obsidian, if you changed verse two to Echoes of guilt from within it makes it a little more personal and conversational.I think you need to think of one line to put in every verse and you will have a good solid song and work on it being a little more conversational rather than matchy matchy. Good work. -
On 9/7/2016 at 5:09 AM, Skin said:
I'm doing a teek here and posting a part of and idea for this challenge and I have a question for anyone.
Does it make any sense?
V1
Forgive me father for I have sinned
And the Devil has my soulThey tell me I will go to HellIn the name of Rock n RollV2Blackened heart and twisted mindI have strayed outside the foldKnow not what he does they cryIn the name of Rock n RollIt could be that by me asking this question I have already answered it?I think I need some sleep lol!CheersLesLes I like where you are going with this. You set up a nice imagery and it is painting a great picture so far. I love the tag line and the story of someone going off path in the name of rock N roll. I would come up with a bridge that explained how and when he got off track, what was he like before and it will tie in real nice with what you have so far. This start is really good. look forward to seeing where it goes.
Amy
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On 9/6/2016 at 8:23 PM, teek said:
Declan MacManus
V.1.
A given name of Declan , no political ambition
A punk with a metaphor , he's just a musician
Does the hard yards , on the road
Always lives by , the musicians code
V.2.
Been to number one , but the jobs not done
He's been in Vogue , and the cover of Rolling Stone
Wears a stylish suit , white fedora on top
What happened to Veronica , swimming in pop
Bridge
A punk with a metaphor
Just a little left of centre
Has the blues in his soul
Listening taste is classical
Plays in the mainstream
He's just so discographical
V.3.
He may be last years model , but is still current today
A social listener , that never went away
Just a little left of centre , anti establishment
A snappy dresser , looks the proper gent
I like the idea of this and you have some really good images in the song but it needs a few tweaks.When you have this style of song without a chorus, you have to have one line in every verse which is exactly the same to tie it all in and give it the flow it needs. You do not have a consistant tag line in every verse, One thing I would look at also is the 1st line of your bridge being the same as line two of the verse. The bridge is the place to say something different that has not been used before in the song, unless it is the tag line. it can be done, but it takes away fro the impact of that line in the verse. If you were to reuse that line I would use it in the verses instead of the bridge. You have some cool images going on in the song but you need a tag line that is exactly the same in each verse. Good job with the creative imagery.
Amy
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Hey John,
I have not been on in a while, but glad you started the challenges back. They always push me when I get in a rut.I wrote one real quick last night, I think I got all the critea, but it eeds some tweaking.
A I grew upcountry as a blue tick hound.
A Myrle Haggard was my kind of sound.
B taught southern values since I was three.
.A Then you walked in Rebellion Bound.
B And you rocked the country out of me.
A Yeah you rocked my country when you came to town.
A Wearing ripped jeans riding on your bike.
A. Jimmy Hendrix blasting from the mic.
B Your a City boy your so different from me.
A I'm a big sucker for the bad boy type.
B But you rocked the country out of me.
A yeah you rocked the country out of my life.
Bridge
Your the kind mama warned me about,
But it's a little late for the warning now.
Your a Christian girls worst dream.
But you came on strong like james Dean.
And you rocked the country out of me.
Yeah you rocked the country out of me.
Repeat.
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2 hours ago, john said:
Hey Amy
I like this, though I find your notation of sections a bit confusing.... Particularly what is the chorus.
Lyrically it doesn't feel very anthemic, but it is wonderfully visually evocative. You conjure summer days up very well although it is all very visual. To deepen the connection I would consider adding other senses, especially smell. For example you mention a BBQ... Why not include the word "sizzle", when you mention blooms why not the scent? Using senses to make and strengthen connection is key in an evocative piece. It's not enough to mention flowers or food, use evocative adjectives to really drive it home. Just my two cents (not scents
). Cheers
John
Thanks john,
Those were some very good suggestions!
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On 5/6/2016 at 7:39 PM, Amram said:
Been thinking about this one for a little while, but was inspired to put some finishing touches on it.
Before We're Too Old
Water droplets on the edge of a can.
Butterscotch kisses, turn on my jam.
I’ve got my worst pair of jeans and best set of shades,
lying in the sand sipping pink lemonade.Ashes to splashes, dust to dawn,
We're red-dirt living on old, beach songs.
The campfire's burning and the water's still cold,
but we're gonna live young, before we're too old.My heart's beating faster like a bird in breeze,
the longer she's laughing and staring at me.
That girl's got my attention like the heat of day
my constant affection, like the sting of a ray.Ashes to splashes, dust to dawn,
We're red-dirt living on coastal songs.
The campfire's burning and the water's still cold,
but we're gonna live young, before we're too old.Someday I'll save this moment somewhere in my mind,
but today I'll live knowing you can only spend time.Ashes to splashes, dust to dawn,
red-dirt living on coastal songs.
The campfire's burning and the water's still cold,
but we're gonna live young, before we're too old.I really like this, I think a few changes can make this really good. Use a few descriptive words that you would not normaly use, describe things in a different way. It's a really good song.
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On 5/6/2016 at 11:49 AM, scotsman89 said:
first time to post in challenge summer time again
strolling on the sand
walking hand in hand
smiles on the faces
a good time to be had
surfers in the sea
bathers on the beach
music in the air
we are young and freeit's summertime again
so come on everyone
head down to the beach
it's time to have some funstuck indoors so long
but now winters gone
the sun is in the sky
lets go and have some fun
head down to the sea
that's where I want to be
meeting all my friends
and dancing on the beachit's summertime again
so come on everyone
head down to the beach
it's time to have some funbrg
life is far to short
let's live for today
make a lot of memories
that will never fade away
as the years go by
we will understand
at the goodtimes we had
right here in the sandit's summertime again
so come on everyone
head down to the beach
it's time to have some funchorus
I like this, it seems kind of fast and catchy. I would suggest one thing though, the last line of the chorus, Let's have us some fun. That makes it a little more personal to the listener.
Amy
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On 5/6/2016 at 11:24 AM, McnaughtonPark said:
Isn't that an old lyric of yours Amy? I know I remember the, "Blooms on the Bradford pear" line, since it's my favorite line of all your lyrics. But, I'm wondering where the challenge was for you if you simply go back and post a lyric you wrote prior to the challenge? Sure would like to see new lyrics posted but I don't know the rules of the challenge.
Peace
This was one I wrote a while back, I had been working on it a bit recently. However I did not realize I had two songs named the same thing. I opened it and copied and pasted it with out really looking at it. This was one I wrote a while back, I did not know I posted it though. The new one is the same name and I meant to post that one. However I have been reworking this one a bit two. You have a good memory , because I don't remember posting it.lol.
Amy
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here is mine.
Summer time Days
Flowers are blooming, Birds are singing,
Spring is in the air.
Wind is Dancing, Butterflies prancing,
Blooms on the Bradford Pear.
Little birds flying, Blue skies shining.
Summer is around the bend.
Trees a swaying, children playing,
It’s time for winter’s end.
(Chorus)
It’s a dawn of a season,
Spring is the reason,
A smile is on my face.
Because summer’s on its way.
Oh I love those summertime days.
BBq grilling, Front porch chilling,
The season is almost here.
Sweet tea sipping, jump rope skipping,
Good times and lots of cheer.
Flip flops, tank tops,
And suntan lines,
T-tops, soda pop
It’s a grand old time.
(Chorus)
Beach trips, pool flips
It’s all fun and games.
Shorter pants, Hawaiian prints,
You’ll be glad you came.
Swimsuit time, tomatoes on the vine,
Fun is around the bend.
Dog walking, neighbors talking,
Hope it never ends.
(Bridge)
My favorite time of year,
It brings me lots of cheer,
I love those, I love those,
Oh I love those summertime days
( Chorus)
Amy Abernathy
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On 1/27/2016 at 9:05 AM, john said:
Hi Gang
Time for a fresh challenge!
For this challenge you will need to work with AAA song form:
http://www.songstuff.com/song-writing/article/song-form-guide-aaa/
It's a pretty straight forward form. You can do a variation, such as AAAA if you want to. The key aspect to be used here is the refrain line (as opposed to verse-chorus forms). This is a common song form and a very useful form to have in your toolbox.
AAA is often used to tell a story.... so for this challenge, picvk something from the news over the last 6 months and write about that. Feel free to build upon the story, but try not to alter facts.
Have fun!
Cheers
John
I am so glad I found this, I have missed these Chalenges.
Here is my song about a recent news event.
The Day the Doves cried- Amy Abernathy 2016
On a typical weekday morning,
It was April twenty first,
flipping channels ,landed on the view.
It was interrupted, by breaking news.
Coul'dnt believe what was said,
an 80's rock legend was found dead.
Today the doves will cry, we're saying good bye,
Your songs will forever be etched in our minds.
Today is the day the doves cried.
Thought it was a hoax at first.
But the media confirmed it was true.
thoughts of purple rain came to mind.
Singing many jams you left behind.
Famous riffs from your purple guitar.
An awesome talent, you are a star.
Today the doves will cry, we're saying good bye,
Your songs will forever be etched in our minds.
Today is the day the doves cried.
Bridge
Rock on, your a legend,
that died before your time.
but your talent will be forever in our minds.
Chorus
Today the doves will cry, we're saying good bye,
Your songs will forever be etched in our minds.
Today is the day the doves cried.
I guess this is obvious about what news story this is about. I hope it came out ok.
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1)Where have you gone that you really liked the finished product? I love reveal audio in Georgia, he is a great guy.He does require you have a melody or that you can sing a clear melody. he will not write the melody for you. However he is a good producer and charges by the hour. I got a song done for 225.00. It had several instruments and sounded great. in fact the song is now published, so I would recommend him
I used Nashville song demos and they were good also. They were about 350. They did the above song and I was happy with it.
A lot recommend Sun down sessions but they are very pricey, but incredible work.
2) Where have you gone that it was ok, but could be better? I used pearl snap and he made a decent song for me. There were no change of chords in the chorus and it was hard to tell where the chorus started. It was not bad work, but it was not great. If you need a higher range in your melody, he may not be the right one. I will paste his song so you can see his work.
3) Which ones were not worth the money?
4) Which ones were a better price?Nashville song demo and Reveal were the cheapest.
5) which ones were pricey but good quality?
6) Where do you get your songs produced?
n
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Hi Tom,
How are you? Yes stay away from paramount , it's a very generic melody and they do hundreds so it is not very original. Although I used Nashvile Song demo for a song, and it was great. it was well written and produced. I just sent in my lyrics and they gave me a great song for 350. I would recommend them.
This is the song they did for me. I am happy with the production , and would use them again because they are cheaper. The only bad thing was it took 4 months to get the song.
Thank you so much for those other links , I will check them out. Many of them are very pricey, I was looking for ones that were cheaper and good quality. I thought we could share insights to help each other out.
I hope you are doing good, I have not seen you on in a while.
Amy
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Hi I would like to make a thread sharing the good and bad expierences of song production. I have sent off to places and got a good song produced, some have been ok and some were horrible. One place took my money and never gave me a demo, so I want to share that with every one so you won't get ripped off as well. Some are cheaper and some are very expensive. Are the pricey ones really better in quality?
1)Where have you gone that you really liked the finished product?
2) Where have you gone that it was ok, but could be better?
3) Which ones were not worth the money?
4) Which ones were a better price?
5) which ones were pricey but good quality?
6) Where do you get your songs produced?
Do not send songs to River bend song service in TN. I sent them money and never got a demo. he won't answer phone calls or emails. it's a scam!!!!!!!! It appears cheaper than others , but it is a scam!
Please share any more tips on production that you can think of.
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Hi Larry,
I could not open your songs on Sound cloud for some reason, must be my computer. I write in country, pop, gospel, rock and several different styles. I would be interested in colaborations. What type of music do you write?
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Hey Pat,
Not at all, I just have not been on in a while. Yeah I had a few contact me from craigslist, and they would do one or two songs. I hate approaching bands, but that is a good idea. It's hard to find collaboration parnters, but it is fun to hear your so come alive. Hope you have a great day!
). 
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Ballad Challenge #1
in Writing Challenges
Posted
Jh,
Lets colaborate on it, it could be fun.
Amy
Hi John,
Thanks for picking my song, I was not expecting that.I was not sure how to fill out an about me page? How do I do that?
Hi John,
Thanks for picking my song, I was not expecting that. I am not sure How to fill out the about me page? Can you help me with that?
Thanks again.
Amy