JH Michaels

November 3, 2016

I just had to jump in on the married train...my first wife ended up in the state hospital for the mentally whacked. Not my fault! Honest! By the way Les, for some reason I keep adding "baby" after D-Day in your first submission...

October 6, 2016

On 10/1/2016 at 7:55 AM, ames1212 said:

Jh,

Lets colaborate on it, it could be fun.

Amy

Hi Amy, thanks for the vote of confidence! I think it could be fun as well. I'm just learning how to use DAW software and as you know, there are some quite talented and thoroughly fantastic song smiths and musicians in this forum who are far and away better than I am. so please...check out some of my songs on soundcloud before you decide. and if you still do....let's talk.

October 3, 2016

Yay Amy! Congrats!

September 29, 2016

I'm working on something as well....but I will most likely not have it ready for submission by the dead-line.

September 26, 2016

On ‎9‎/‎23‎/‎2016 at 1:14 PM, ames1212 said:

I grew upcountry as a blue tick hound.

A Myrle Haggard was my kind of sound.

B taught southern values since I was three.

.A Then you walked in Rebellion Bound.

B And you rocked the country out of me.

A Yeah you rocked my country when you came to town.

A Wearing ripped jeans riding on your bike.

A. Jimmy Hendrix blasting all night.

B Your a City boy , so different from me.

A always been a sucker for sucker for the bad boy type.

B But you rocked the country out of me.

A yeah you rocked the country out of my life.

Bridge

Your the kind mama warned me about,

But it's a little late for the warning now.

Your a Christian girls worst dream.

But you came on strong like james Dean.

And you rocked the country out of me.

Yeah you rocked the country out of me.

My sister said I was acting different.

needed to be baptized by the holy spirit.

Because I've become a rock N roll queen.

The Baptist are whispering I can hear it.

Because you rocked the country out of me.

You rocked my country, yes you did it...

Nicely done Ames....these are some good, solid lyrics. I don't know what you had in mind for music, but I had some fun with it in a 12 bar blues in A.

September 22, 2016

I made a few tweeks but this feels good to me as a final write. Thanks to everyone for the crits and praise. This was a good one, John!

Innocent Eyes

Verse: 1

We’re born into this world with innocent eyes

With no distrust and none to hate

But we learn from those we trust the most

Our mothers, fathers, and zealous faith

That shades our innocent eyes

Verse: 2

Some shout out that “It’s the word of God”!

But God doesn’t say these things

And He shudders at the crimson opera

Each demonic voice sings

To destroy our innocent eyes

Bridge:

We’re one and the same

Each and all

Only learning to walk

After we crawl

We’re born by fate

With a blank slate

We often never realize

When we lost

Our innocent eyes

Verse: 3

Oh tell me the colors of tears or blood

When skin is yellow, brown, white or black

The answer lies buried deep in our soul

But all we have to do is look back

Through innocent eyes

Outro:

We’re all the same

Through innocent eyes (x3)

Oh God let us keep

Our innocent eyes.

End

September 21, 2016

On ‎9‎/‎20‎/‎2016 at 7:15 AM, ames1212 said:

Lol, Jh I have never heard that expression before, lol. Thank you. I thought of just repeating verse one and two, does it need another verse if you repeat it? I was trying to think where to go from there. I will work on some more to get it a little more blanaced and try to come up with one more verse. Thanks for the compliments.

amy

Ames and Les.....you can thank my great-grandma for that one.....it's the worst language I ever heard her say. I have no idea where she got it though.

September 19, 2016

Good Goobers! You came up with that "real quick" ? sheesh, nicely done.......and I like the theme. Just a couple of nits from me.....I know mic rhymes with bike...but....mics don't blast anything so I have a hang up there....the other nit is that you should have another verse after the bridge .......so if this is what you can do real quick....I'd love to see what you add to the song.

September 19, 2016

On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2016 at 6:09 PM, Skin said:

Theres not much I can offer on your lyric other than a few tweaks.

I did think the 3rd verse did not have the same flow to the melody i had for the other verses? This line makes me want to add words lol.

Each demonic voice sings to Of each demonic voice that sings?

Otherwise a good solid write that has a stong message and ticks all the boxes for the challenge

Thanks for the kind words my friend.....I've been thinking about it this weekend and I think I agree that the transition from Opera to "Each demonic voice...." needs just a little something to make it smoother. Musically, I've been lengthening some syllables to make it work in the 3rd verse....I might try adding a word or two to make it more consistant with verses 1 and 2 though. Good points! - john

September 19, 2016

On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2016 at 6:04 PM, Skin said:

Heres a complete version, still unsure of it as a whole and have been twiddling with the bridge for ages then this came out.

Hope you enjoy the read

Grunty rock genre!

In The Name Of Rock n Roll ...copyright LGS2017

V

Forgive me father I have sinned

Now the Devil owns my soul

They tell me I will go to Hell

In the name of Rock n Roll

V

Blackened heart twisted mind

I've strayed outside the fold

He knows not what he does (they cry)

In the name of Rock n Roll

I had an idea to swap these lines?

added to the end of the originals.

B

I don't need the false salvation

Of men with lack of vision

Bring on the four horsemen...If this is the Devils music

If this is the Devils music........Bring on the four horsemen

replace "Then" with "And"

Then I will ride with them

V

Too late now for redemption

The bell of my master tolls

I've chosen my own damnation

In the name of Rock n Roll

Nice write Les! Personally, I like "If this is the Devil's music, bring on the four horsemen" FWIW, though, the bridge feels a bit short and stuttery (is that even a word?) at the last. maybe changing "music" to "anthem" to rhyme better with horsemen? maybe adding two mores line for a little more depth maybe with the hook again on the last line (eg. won't get no parole......while I ride to Rock n Roll") ? . Just some thoughts to consider. - John

September 13, 2016

On ‎9‎/‎9‎/‎2016 at 3:07 PM, Karanis said:

Well, shoot... I can't meet the requirements on the references, but I can give out a base Idea.

If you could help a little, I might be able to take the idea and put it into the requirements.

Here:

(First Base Instrumental)

(Choir)

(End Choir)

Silent shouts in oblivion
Echoes off of obsidian
The dying child of light
Can sing of true sin

Here in the night, I lie
Out of a life supply
Floating eyes will wander
As I slowly choke and die

I can hear the gates opening
To the great all-knowing
My time has now come

Death is now showing
I've become numb
To the last bell tolling

Now in the dark, I sleep
With shadows of the deep
In my lies I surrender
To the others who will weep

(Second Base Instrumental)

(Wait, don't leave me!)
(There's nothing here to foresee!)

(I don't belong here!)
(Death, come take me!)

(End)

I couldn't find anything in there to use as a refrain either, that being said, I think that you could come up with one pretty easily given the subject matter. I see the public figure, Death, and obsidian could be construed as a color in this context. I'm not seeing the reference to music genre (personally, I'd love to see a reference to polka..lol), or a number or a bridge that would follow the ballad form. I think you have some good material to comb through and massage into the proper format. I'd like to see what you do with it.

September 12, 2016

Here's my submission....I think I have the proper form and all the ingredients required ....color: crimson, black, white publicfigure: God (why not go for the top) music genre: opera and number: one. I'm still working out the final chord progression, change-ups and transitions, but here are the lyrics I'm using. Any comments are welcome!

Innocent Eyes

Verse: 1

We’re born into this world with innocent eyes

With no distrust and none to hate

But we learn from those we trust the most

Mothers, fathers, and pious faith

That shades our innocent eyes

Verse: 2

Some shout out that “It’s the word of God”!

But God doesn’t say these things

And He shudders at the crimson opera

Each demonic voice sings

To destroy our innocent eyes

Bridge:

We’re one and the same

Each and all

Only learning to walk

After we crawl

We’re just a blank slate

Born by fate

We often don’t realize

We have lost

Our innocent eyes

Verse: 3

Oh tell me the colors of tears or blood

When skin is white or black

The answer is deep in our soul

All we have to do is look back

Through innocent eyes

Outro:

We’re all the same

Through innocent eyes

We’re all the same

Through innocent eyes.

Inst then fade

End

September 12, 2016

Hi Les, so far I'm hearing Ozzy Osborne doing this..that's a good thing...for some reason I keep hearing this to "Bark At the Moon" The only nit I have is the line " Knows not what he does they cry". It's more like David's favorite phrase "Yoda-speak" IMHO. Would you consider something like "Forgive me, for I have sinned" or at something else more direct? I'm really looking forward to seeing the rest of this! - John

September 8, 2016

Ok....I feel like I just opened the musical version of the "Chopped" entre basket......thanks John....this ought to be fun!

August 1, 2016

On ‎7‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 2:20 PM, The Rev Jaystone said:

This is a song I wrote about a relationship coming to its conclusion. I wish I had a singer who'd wanna work on this and my many other songs. So check these lyrics out let me know. Ty The Rev. Jaystone

Falling

By The Rev Jaystone

and she says to me
why are you still here
have you not noticed
the sign are everywhere

Pre Chorus
and she has struck a nerve
took more than she deserved
stealing my heartbeat
gone but I'm breathing

Chorus
SO CAN YOU TAKE ME AWAY
MEMORIES I CAN'T ERASE
AND NO ONE CAN FEEL MY PAIN
I FEEL LIKE IM FALLING

So tired of chasing

flowers that Wilt away

and she says to me

there is no other way

Pre Chorus
And she has struck a nerve

took more than she deserve
Stealing my heartbeat
Your arrows still piercing

Chorus
SO CAN YOU TAKE ME AWAY
MEMORIES I CAN'T ERASE
AND NO ONE CAN FEEL MY PAIN
I FEEL LIKE I AM FALLING

Hi Rev,

You've got the right idea going here and I particularly like the line "so tired of chasing flowers that wilt away" However, the rest, I feel is low on content. With just two small verses, you aren't saying much, it almost feels over before you've really started if that makes sense. Take a look at all the previous lyrics, there is so much that can and should be said, thought or felt in such a personal disaster as a break-up. I think this song should be expanded to give it more depth. Just my 2 cents and keep at it!

July 27, 2016

You guys work well together...kind of a real cinderella story. I would suggest " Or is there another route" for verse two or something shortened like that (I know it could be pronounced "root"). It feels more rhythmic with the verse to me and when I sing it with some music it flows a little better. Other than that small nit, this is a nicely written set of lyrics.

July 19, 2016

I like it......well done Richard....I get a lot of imagery with these lyrics...and that is what they are supposed to do...

July 19, 2016

On 7/16/2016 at 10:15 PM, Nightwolf said:

Waitin' for the phone to ring

Every Day I die

just a little

Just waitin' for the phone to ring

Waitin' on a word from my baby

And I still haven't heard a thing

I think my baby lost my number

Or she would have called by now

I think my baby lost my number

But I can't see how

For five long years now people

It was her number too

If I thought she wasn't gonna call

I don't know what I'd do

I get so lonely

Yeah, yes it's true

Waitin' for a call from you

Every Day I die just a little

Just waitin' for the phone to ring

Waitin' for word from my baby

And I still haven't heard a thing

Not a thing

Hey John,

I really hear this with some serious blues......I think it needs more content as well. a bridge, more chorus...another verse....lot's of stuff to choose from. I'd love to hear some music with this.

July 19, 2016

On 7/17/2016 at 7:14 AM, Timbre said:

The End of My Last Chance

Copyright © 2016 by L.C. Campbell

Verse 1

I thought I’d have more time

To make our brand new start

But I waited too long

To take care of your heart

You tell me to move on

But I don’t see how I can

I’m a fool who missed the end of my last chance

Verse 2

I missed all the signs

That the end was near

You didn’t make demands

And you cried no more tears

I finally crossed your line

Written in the sand

I’m a fool who missed the end of my last chance

Chorus

What kind of man holds the world in his hands

Then lets it all go on a whim

Who turns his back on the love of a lifetime

To chase just one night of sin

And what do I see staring back in the mirror

When I get up the nerve to glance

Just a fool who missed the end of my last chance

Verse 3

I know that I was blind

Now you’re all that I can see

And your eyes are telling mine

You’re all but done with me

It’s finally sinking in

And it’s more than I can stand

I’m just a fool who missed the end of my last chance

Chorus

What kind of man holds the world in his hands

Then lets it all go on a whim

Who turns his back on the love of a lifetime

To chase just one night of sin

And what do I see staring back in the mirror

When I get up the nerve to glance

Just a fool who missed the end of my last chance

Repeat Chorus

Hi Timbre,

These are very tight lyrics..nicely done. The only minor nit I have would be "What kind of man holds the world in his hands" . I would think about changing that to " How can a man who holds my world in his hands.....let it go on just a whim" To me it makes him sound more like the callous,thoughtless, selfish, b****rd he is lol. Just a thought. Loved the read.

July 19, 2016

On 7/17/2016 at 4:07 PM, Richard Tracey said:

Hope you don't mind me having a little shot at this. This was a song I wrote a while ago about an imaginary break-up (my wife hates when I write these kinds of lyrics, I have to keep telling her they are not about her )

Another Yesterday

You dream of tomorrow

But live for yesterday

It's a world away

Your heart is lying

Gave up on trying

A faith is dying

I know that you see it

It's not a secret

Don't try to keep it

The winds are changing

A life so fleeting

A dream repeating

And all of the things we've done

A life that was full of fun

You gave it all away

To live for another yesterday

The promise you're making

It's not for breaking

A dream awaking

What is this feeling

It has no meaning

A life you're stealing

And all of the things we've done

A life that was full of fun

You gave it all away

To live for another yesterday

this is a mainly piano based piece of music that I could never get to sound they way I imagined in my head. Hopefully the lyrics are the kind of idea you were looking for John.

cheers Richard

Hi Richard,

I have to agree with timbre that the chorus could be stronger......to me it doesn't carry the same weight as the verses. As a suggestion maybe something like:

And all the things we've done

A life that was ours to run

You gave it all away

For a lie from yesterday

Maybe a tweak or two in the verses to tie in the "Buddy, you blew that one" theme. just my two cents and I did enjoy the read....keep them coming!

July 18, 2016

23 hours ago, Richard Tracey said:

Hope you don't mind me having a little shot at this. This was a song I wrote a while ago about an imaginary break-up (my wife hates when I write these kinds of lyrics, I have to keep telling her they are not about her )

Another Yesterday

You dream of tomorrow

But live for yesterday

It's a world away

Your heart is lying

Gave up on trying

A faith is dying

I know that you see it

It's not a secret

Don't try to keep it

The winds are changing

A life so fleeting

A dream repeating

And all of the things we've done

A life that was full of fun

You gave it all away

To live for another yesterday

The promise you're making

It's not for breaking

A dream awaking

What is this feeling

It has no meaning

A life you're stealing

And all of the things we've done

A life that was full of fun

You gave it all away

To live for another yesterday

this is a mainly piano based piece of music that I could never get to sound they way I imagined in my head. Hopefully the lyrics are the kind of idea you were looking for John.

cheers Richard

That is so funny.....my wife does the very same thing......so here's my entry for the big breakup. I just posted a song like this so I didn't think it would be fair to use it lol.

Let Me Down Softly

Verse:

I see you walking toward me

With a look that says

Something’s on your mind

So I’m holding my breath

You say we have to talk

Well don’t it always start that way

You came to say good-bye

And you just can’t stay

Pre-Chorus:

So like golden sunlight

On an autumn day

Like falling leaves

So please……………………..

Chorus:

Let me down softly

Oh

Let me down softly

Bridge:

It’s not a surprise you found someone new

You said it started out small then changed and grew

You tried to warn me so many times, oh it’s true

That you needed more than I could give to you.

Pre-chorus:

So like golden sunlight

On an autumn day

Like falling leaves

So please………………………

Chorus

Verse:

I’m quietly dying inside

But I put on a brave show

And tell you I wish you all the best

While you sadly smile and go

And with you goes a part of me

That will forever be gone

And how can I stop loving you

When you’re all I want

Pre-chorus:

So like golden sunlight

On an autumn day

Like falling leaves

So please………………………

Chorus/end:

Let me down softly

Oh

Let me down softly

Yeah

Let me down softly

Oh

Let me down softly

July 11, 2016

I'm thinking that this might be good for Alanis Morisette as a female artist......Nickelback for male artist/group. Obviously this is about a chronic abuser that finally gets theirs in the end. Definitely not my normal lyrics.

A Street Stained Red

Copyright JH Michaels

Intro:

Face down in the street stained red

Think about every word you said

Blood pourin’ over me like rain

Face down in the street stained red

Think about every slap where I bled

This is where it all comes to an end

Verse:

Don’t look at me that way

I couldn’t help this, I couldn’t stop the rage

I’m not the only one that you’ve beat this way

And when you hit the ground

I’m not the only face in the crowd

I’m not the only one that wants to end you

Chorus: x2

Face down in the street stained red

Think about every word you said

Blood pourin’ over me like rain

It’s your turn to feel the pain

Verse:

This is really the end

You’ll never, ever do this to me again

Did you know that the deepest, darkest part of me fears you?

Well I heard all those “sorry’s” before

It don’t matter to me, I can’t hear those lies no more

Well I’m not the one

I’m not the one

I will not be the one to be scared

Chorus: x2

Instr

Bridge:

Down to the line

That separates you and I with all those lies

I was so damned blind

From that moment in time when you and I became one

Outro:

Don’t look at me that way

I couldn’t help this, I couldn’t stop the rage

I’m not going to be the one to keep living this way….yeah

Chorus: x2

This is where it all comes to an end

Yeah

(gun shot)

End

July 11, 2016

I've got one...I'll post it up later today. Just a little thing like a day job to hold things up a bit lol.

July 6, 2016

2 hours ago, HoboSage said:

Nice love song, JH. Without knowing the music, I can't say it could work, but as a general proposition I think the chorus would be stronger if it ended with the hook. If it could work with the music, or with a tweak to the chorus music, I think a four-line chorus with a repeat of the hook as a fifth tag line - something like this - could be a stronger chorus for this.

that's where the love is

and no matter where I roam

I feel you and feel at home

your smile, your touch, your kiss . . .

that's where the love is

You might also think about cutting "the" from the hook and make it "that's where love is."

Just my $0.02.

Thanks David....who said you can't write love songs....lol That's a nice chorus...It would change the music quite a bit, however, but it's not like it's written in stone. There's always room for a little changer here and there.

July 6, 2016

On 6/30/2016 at 4:26 PM, Skin said:

Blimey my brain hurts lol!

Well I've tried again, and still working on the other one.

I hope I'm on the right track for this one although it might not seem so without an idea of the story for this.

Still young but thought I would post, chorus not all together there yet but I will work on it. Nor the bridge.

Im away for a couple of days but will have my iPad and will try to comment on other posts ASAP.

The story is of a man in a coma and his wife/partner is with him 24/7 he can feel her he can hear her but cannot show it, then he wakes up. Does it make sense?

Here goes and I hope you enjoy the read.

You Alone

V

Holding my hand

I felt your love

Though I couldn't tell you

V

Your gentle kiss

Stirred my soul

I so wanted too hold you

C

I could feel your presence everyday

I don't know how long I've been away

There's one thing I have to say

You alone-pulled me through

You alone-kept me alive

You gave me the will to survive

V

Your soothing voice

Gave me peace

In my darkest moments

V

When your tears

Touched my cheek

I cried deep down inside

C

I could feel your presence everyday

I don't know how long I've been away

There's one thing I have to say

You alone-pulled me through

You alone-kept me alive

You gave me the will to survive

B. This needs work and I will adjust it soon as I can.

When I opened my eyes

You were there

My vision was blurred

But I knew it was you

C

I could feel your presence everyday

I don't know how long I've been away

There's one thing I have to say

You alone-pulled me through

You alone-kept me alive

You gave me the will to survive

After I read the back-story I understand how it all ties together......but for those that don't have that leg-up...a reference to a hospital or a crash, some terrible event that caused the whole situation would help. Here's a twist...(true story as far as I know). a soldier was blown into a wall by a mortar blast....he was in a coma for 2 weeks. his wife never left the hospital for the entire time and she was there when he woke up. He was blind from the damage but knew instantly it was her that was there.. the happy ending in that story is that eventually his eye sight returned after a few months. so I guess what I'm trying to say is that it should be a hugely powerful moment at the awakening with a set up prior to the bridge and I think you are close. Overall.....I really like the write and the idea, Les.

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