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JH Michaels

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Posts posted by JH Michaels

  1. On 10/1/2016 at 7:55 AM, ames1212 said:

    Jh,

    Lets colaborate on it, it could be fun.

    Amy

    Hi Amy, thanks for the vote of confidence!  I think it could be fun as well.  I'm just learning how to use DAW software and as you know, there are some quite talented and thoroughly fantastic song smiths and musicians in this forum who are far and away better than I am.  so please...check out some of my songs on soundcloud  before you decide.  and if you still do....let's talk.

  2. On ‎9‎/‎23‎/‎2016 at 1:14 PM, ames1212 said:

      I grew upcountry as a blue tick hound.

    A Myrle Haggard was my kind of sound.

    B taught southern values since I was three.

    .A Then you walked in Rebellion Bound.

    B And you rocked the country out of me.

    A Yeah you rocked my country when you came to town.

     

     

    A Wearing  ripped jeans riding on your bike.

    A. Jimmy Hendrix blasting all night.

    B Your a City boy , so different from me.

    A always been a sucker for sucker for the bad boy type.

    B  But you rocked the country out of me.

    A yeah you rocked the country out of my life.

     

     

    Bridge

    Your the kind mama warned me about,

    But it's a little late for the warning now.

    Your a  Christian girls worst dream.

    But you came on strong like james Dean.

    And you rocked the country out of me.

    Yeah you rocked the country out of me.

     

     

    My sister said I was acting different.

    needed to be baptized by the holy spirit.

    Because I've become a rock N roll queen.

    The Baptist are whispering I can hear it.

    Because you rocked the country out of me.

    You rocked my country, yes you did it...

     

     

    Nicely done Ames....these are some good, solid lyrics.  I don't know what you had in mind for music, but I had some fun with it in a 12 bar blues in A. 

  3. I made a few tweeks but this feels good to me as a final write.  Thanks to everyone for the crits and praise.  This was a good one, John!

     

    Innocent Eyes

    Copyright 2016- JH Michaels (all rights reserved)

    Verse: 1

    We’re born into this world with innocent eyes

    With no distrust and none to hate

    But we learn from those we trust the most

    Our mothers, fathers, and zealous faith

    That shades our innocent eyes

    Verse: 2

    Some shout out that “It’s the word of God”!

    But God doesn’t say these things

    And He shudders at the crimson opera

    Each demonic voice sings

    To destroy our innocent eyes

    Bridge:

    We’re one and the same

    Each and all

    Only learning to walk

    After we crawl

    We’re born by fate

    With a blank slate

    We often never realize

    When we lost

    Our innocent eyes

    Verse: 3

    Oh tell me the colors of tears or blood

    When skin is yellow, brown, white or black

    The answer lies buried deep in our soul

    But all we have to do is look back

    Through innocent eyes

    Outro: 

    We’re all the same

    Through innocent eyes (x3)

    Oh God let us keep

    Our innocent eyes.

    End

  4. On ‎9‎/‎20‎/‎2016 at 7:15 AM, ames1212 said:

     

    Lol, Jh I have never heard that expression before, lol. Thank you. I thought of just repeating verse one and two, does it need another verse if you repeat it? I was trying to think where to go from there. I will work on some more to get it a little more blanaced and try to come up with one more verse. Thanks for the compliments.

    amy

    Ames and Les.....you can thank my great-grandma for that one.....it's the worst language I ever heard her say.  I have no idea where she got it though.

    • Like 2
  5. Good Goobers!  You came up with that "real quick"  ?  sheesh, nicely done.......and I like the theme.  Just a couple of nits from me.....I know mic rhymes with bike...but....mics don't blast anything so I have a hang up there....the other nit is that you should have another verse after the bridge .......so if this is what you can do real quick....I'd love to see what you add to the song.

  6. On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2016 at 6:09 PM, Skin said:

    Theres not much I can offer on your lyric other than a few tweaks.

    I did think the 3rd verse did not have the same flow to the melody i had for the other verses? This line makes me want to add words lol.

    Each demonic voice sings to Of each demonic voice that sings?

     

    Otherwise a good solid write that has a stong message and ticks all the boxes for the challenge

    Thanks for the kind words my friend.....I've been thinking about it this weekend and I think I agree that the transition from Opera to "Each demonic voice...." needs just a little something to make it smoother.  Musically, I've been lengthening some syllables to make it work in the 3rd verse....I might try adding a word or two to make it more consistant with verses 1 and 2 though.  Good points!  - john

  7. On ‎9‎/‎16‎/‎2016 at 6:04 PM, Skin said:

    Heres a complete version, still unsure of it as a whole and have been twiddling with  the bridge for ages then this came out.

    Hope you enjoy the read

    Grunty rock genre!

     

    In The Name Of Rock n Roll ...copyright LGS2017
    V

    Forgive me father I have sinned

    Now the Devil owns my soul
    They tell me I will go to Hell
    In the name of Rock n Roll
     
    V
    Blackened heart twisted mind
    I've strayed outside the fold
    He knows not what he does (they cry)
    In the name of Rock n Roll
     
    I had an idea to swap these lines? 
    added to the end of the originals.
    B
    I don't need the false salvation
    Of men with lack of vision
    Bring on the four horsemen...If this is the Devils music
    If this is the Devils music........Bring on the four horsemen
    replace "Then"  with "And"
    Then I will ride with them
     
    V
    Too late now for redemption
    The bell of my master tolls
    I've chosen my own damnation
    In the name of Rock n Roll

    Nice write Les!  Personally, I like "If this is the Devil's music, bring on the four horsemen"  FWIW, though, the bridge feels a bit short and stuttery (is that even a word?) at the last.  maybe changing "music" to "anthem" to rhyme better with horsemen? maybe adding two mores line for a little more depth maybe with the hook again on the last line (eg.  won't get no parole......while I ride to Rock n Roll") ?  .  Just some thoughts to consider. - John

    • Like 1
  8. On ‎9‎/‎9‎/‎2016 at 3:07 PM, Karanis said:

    Well, shoot... I can't meet the requirements on the references, but I can give out a base Idea.

     

    If you could help a little, I might be able to take the idea and put it into the requirements.

     

    Here:

     

    (First Base Instrumental)
     
    (Choir)
     
    (End Choir)
     
    Silent shouts in oblivion
    Echoes off of obsidian
    The dying child of light
    Can sing of true sin
     
    Here in the night, I lie
    Out of a life supply
    Floating eyes will wander
    As I slowly choke and die
     
    I can hear the gates opening
    To the great all-knowing
    My time has now come
     
    Death is now showing
    I've become numb
    To the last bell tolling
     
    Now in the dark, I sleep
    With shadows of the deep
    In my lies I surrender
    To the others who will weep
     
    (Second Base Instrumental)
     
    (Wait, don't leave me!)
    (There's nothing here to foresee!)
    (I don't belong here!)
    (Death, come take me!)
     
    (End)

    I couldn't find anything in there to use as a refrain either, that being said, I think that you could come up with one pretty easily given the subject matter.  I see the public figure, Death, and obsidian could be construed as a color in this context.  I'm not seeing the reference to music genre (personally, I'd love to see a reference to polka..lol), or a number or a bridge that would follow the ballad form.  I think you have some good material to comb through and massage into the proper format.  I'd like to see what you do with it. 

  9. Here's my submission....I think I have the proper form and all the ingredients required ....color: crimson, black, white  publicfigure: God (why not go for the top)  music genre: opera  and number: one.  I'm still working out the final chord progression, change-ups and transitions, but here are the lyrics I'm using.  Any comments are welcome!

     

    Innocent Eyes

    Copyright 2016- JH Michaels (all rights reserved)

    Verse: 1

    We’re born into this world with innocent eyes

    With no distrust and none to hate

    But we learn from those we trust the most

    Mothers, fathers, and pious faith

    That shades our innocent eyes

    Verse: 2

    Some shout out that “It’s the word of God”!

    But God doesn’t say these things

    And He shudders at the crimson opera

    Each demonic voice sings

    To destroy our innocent eyes

    Bridge:

    We’re one and the same

    Each and all

    Only learning to walk

    After we crawl

    We’re just a blank slate

    Born by fate

    We often don’t realize

    We have lost

    Our innocent eyes

    Verse: 3

    Oh tell me the colors of tears or blood

    When skin is white or black

    The answer is deep in our soul

    All we have to do is look back

    Through innocent eyes

    Outro: 

    We’re all the same

    Through innocent eyes

    We’re all the same

    Through innocent eyes.

    Inst then fade

    End

    • Like 1
  10. Hi Les, so far I'm hearing Ozzy Osborne doing this..that's a good thing...for some reason I keep hearing this to "Bark At the Moon"  The only nit I have is the line " Knows not what he does they cry".  It's more like David's favorite phrase "Yoda-speak"  IMHO. Would you consider something like "Forgive me, for I have sinned" or at something else more direct?  I'm really looking forward to seeing the rest of this! - John

  11. On ‎7‎/‎28‎/‎2016 at 2:20 PM, The Rev Jaystone said:

    This is a song I wrote about a relationship coming to its conclusion. I wish I had a singer who'd wanna work on this and my many other songs. So check these lyrics out let me know. Ty The Rev. Jaystone

     

    Falling

    By The Rev Jaystone

     

    and she says to me
    why are you still here
    have you not noticed
    the sign are everywhere

    Pre Chorus
    and she has struck a nerve
    took more than she deserved
    stealing my heartbeat
    gone but I'm breathing

    Chorus
    SO CAN YOU TAKE ME AWAY
    MEMORIES I CAN'T ERASE
    AND NO ONE CAN FEEL MY PAIN 
    I FEEL LIKE IM FALLING

    So tired of chasing

    flowers that Wilt away

    and she says to me

    there is no other way

    Pre Chorus
    And she has struck a nerve

    took more than she deserve
    Stealing my heartbeat
    Your arrows still piercing

    Chorus
    SO CAN YOU TAKE ME AWAY
    MEMORIES I CAN'T ERASE
    AND NO ONE CAN FEEL MY PAIN 
    I FEEL LIKE I AM FALLING

     

    Hi Rev,

    You've got the right idea going here and I particularly like the line "so tired of chasing flowers that wilt away"  However, the rest, I feel is low on content.  With just two small verses, you aren't saying much, it almost feels over before you've really started if that makes sense.  Take a look at all the previous lyrics, there is so much that can and should be said, thought or felt in such a personal disaster as a break-up. I think this song should be expanded to give it more depth.  Just my 2 cents and keep at it!   

  12. You guys work well together...kind of a real cinderella story.  I would suggest " Or is there another route"  for verse two or something shortened like that (I know it could be pronounced "root").    It feels more rhythmic with the verse to me and when I sing it with some music it flows a little better. Other than that small nit, this is a nicely written set of lyrics.

  13. On 7/16/2016 at 10:15 PM, Nightwolf said:

    Waitin' for the phone to ring

     

     

     

    Every Day I die

    just a little

    Just waitin' for the phone to ring

     

    Waitin' on a word from my baby

     

    And I still haven't heard a thing

     

     

     

    I think my baby lost my number

     

    Or she would have called by now

     

    I think my baby lost my number

     

    But I can't see how

     

     

     

    For five long years now people

     

    It was her number too

     

    If I thought she wasn't gonna call

     

    I don't know what I'd do

     

    I get so lonely

     

    Yeah, yes it's true

     

    Waitin' for a call from you

     

    Every Day I die just a little

     

    Just waitin' for the phone to ring

     

    Waitin' for word from my baby

     

    And I still haven't heard a thing

     

    Not a thing

     

    Hey John,

    I really hear this with some serious blues......I think it needs more content as well.  a bridge, more chorus...another verse....lot's of stuff to choose from.  I'd love to hear some music with this.

    • Like 1
  14. On 7/17/2016 at 7:14 AM, Timbre said:

     

     

    The End of My Last Chance

     

    Copyright © 2016 by L.C. Campbell

     

     

     

     

     

    Verse 1

     

    I thought I’d have more time

     

    To make our brand new start

     

    But I waited too long

     

    To take care of your heart

     

     

     

    You tell me to move on

     

    But I don’t see how I can

     

    I’m a fool who missed the end of my last chance

     

     

     

    Verse 2

     

    I missed all the signs

     

    That the end was near

     

    You didn’t make demands

     

    And you cried no more tears

     

     

     

    I finally crossed your line

     

    Written in the sand

     

    I’m a fool who missed the end of my last chance

     

     

     

     

     

    Chorus

     

    What kind of man holds the world in his hands

     

    Then lets it all go on a whim

     

    Who turns his back on the love of a lifetime

     

    To chase just one night of sin

     

    And what do I see staring back in the mirror

     

    When I get up the nerve to glance

     

    Just a fool who missed the end of my last chance

     

     

     

    Verse 3

     

    I know that I was blind

     

    Now you’re all that I can see

     

    And your eyes are telling mine

     

    You’re all but done with me

     

     

     

    It’s finally sinking in

     

    And it’s more than I can stand

     

    I’m just a fool who missed the end of my last chance

     

     

     

    Chorus

     

    What kind of man holds the world in his hands

     

    Then lets it all go on a whim

     

    Who turns his back on the love of a lifetime

     

    To chase just one night of sin

     

    And what do I see staring back in the mirror

     

    When I get up the nerve to glance

     

    Just a fool who missed the end of my last chance

     

     

     

     

     

    Repeat Chorus

     

    Hi Timbre,

    These are very tight lyrics..nicely done.  The only minor nit I have would be "What kind of man holds the world in his hands" .  I would think about changing that to " How can a man who holds my world in his hands.....let it go on just a whim"  To me it makes him sound more like the callous,thoughtless, selfish,  b****rd he is lol.  Just a thought.  Loved the read.

  15. On 7/17/2016 at 4:07 PM, Richard Tracey said:

    Hope you don't mind me having a little shot at this. This was a song I wrote a while ago about an imaginary break-up (my wife hates when I write these kinds of lyrics, I have to keep telling her they are not about her :) )

     

    Another Yesterday

     
    You dream of tomorrow
    But live for yesterday
    It's a world away
     
    Your heart is lying
    Gave up on trying
    A faith is dying
     
    I know that you see it
    It's not a secret
    Don't try to keep it
     
    The winds are changing
    A life so fleeting
    A dream repeating
     
    And all of the things we've done
    A life that was full of fun
    You gave it all away
    To live for another yesterday
     
    The promise you're making
    It's not for breaking
    A dream awaking
     
    What is this feeling
    It has no meaning
    A life you're stealing
     
    And all of the things we've done
    A life that was full of fun
    You gave it all away
    To live for another yesterday
     
     
    this is a mainly piano based piece of music that I could never get to sound they way I imagined in my head. Hopefully the lyrics are the kind of idea you were looking for John.
     
    cheers Richard

    Hi Richard,

    I have to agree with timbre that the chorus could be stronger......to me it doesn't carry the same weight as the verses.  As a suggestion maybe something like:

    And all the things we've done

    A life that was ours to run

    You gave it all away

    For a lie from yesterday

    Maybe a tweak or two in the verses to tie in the "Buddy, you blew that one" theme.  just my two cents and  I did enjoy the read....keep them coming!

     

  16. 23 hours ago, Richard Tracey said:

    Hope you don't mind me having a little shot at this. This was a song I wrote a while ago about an imaginary break-up (my wife hates when I write these kinds of lyrics, I have to keep telling her they are not about her :) )

     

    Another Yesterday

     
    You dream of tomorrow
    But live for yesterday
    It's a world away
     
    Your heart is lying
    Gave up on trying
    A faith is dying
     
    I know that you see it
    It's not a secret
    Don't try to keep it
     
    The winds are changing
    A life so fleeting
    A dream repeating
     
    And all of the things we've done
    A life that was full of fun
    You gave it all away
    To live for another yesterday
     
    The promise you're making
    It's not for breaking
    A dream awaking
     
    What is this feeling
    It has no meaning
    A life you're stealing
     
    And all of the things we've done
    A life that was full of fun
    You gave it all away
    To live for another yesterday
     
     
    this is a mainly piano based piece of music that I could never get to sound they way I imagined in my head. Hopefully the lyrics are the kind of idea you were looking for John.
     
    cheers Richard

    That is so funny.....my wife does the very same thing......so here's my entry for the big breakup.  I just posted a song like this so I didn't think it would be fair to use it  lol.

     

    Let Me Down Softly

    Copyright 2016 JH Michaels

    All rights reserved

    Verse:

    I see you walking toward me

    With a look that says

    Something’s on your mind

    So I’m holding my breath

    You say we have to talk

    Well don’t it always start that way

    You came to say good-bye

    And you just can’t stay

    Pre-Chorus:

    So like golden sunlight

    On an autumn day

    Like falling leaves

    So please……………………..

    Chorus:

    Let me down softly

    Oh

    Let me down softly

    Bridge:

    It’s not a surprise you found someone new

    You said it started out small then changed and grew

    You tried to warn me so many times, oh it’s true

    That you needed more than I could give to you.

    Pre-chorus:

    So like golden sunlight

    On an autumn day

    Like falling leaves

    So please………………………

    Chorus

    Verse:

    I’m quietly dying inside

    But I put on a brave show

    And tell you I wish you all the best

    While you sadly smile and go

    And with you goes a part of me

    That will forever be gone

    And how can I stop loving you

    When you’re all I want

    Pre-chorus:

    So like golden sunlight

    On an autumn day

    Like falling leaves

    So please………………………

    Chorus/end:

    Let me down softly

    Oh

    Let me down softly

    Yeah

    Let me down softly

    Oh

    Let me down softly

    • Like 2
  17. I'm thinking that this might be good for Alanis Morisette as a female artist......Nickelback for male artist/group.  Obviously this is about a chronic abuser that finally gets theirs in the end.  Definitely not my normal lyrics.

     

    A Street Stained Red

    Copyright JH Michaels

    2016 All Rights Reserved

     

    Intro:

    Face down in the street stained red

    Think about every word you said

    Blood pourin’ over me like rain

    Face down in the street stained red

    Think about every slap where I bled

    This is where it all comes to an end

    Verse:

    Don’t look at me that way

    I couldn’t help this, I couldn’t stop the rage

    I’m not the only one that you’ve beat this way

    And when you hit the ground

    I’m not the only face in the crowd

    I’m not the only one that wants to end you

    Chorus:  x2

    Face down in the street stained red

    Think about every word you said

    Blood pourin’ over me like rain

    It’s your turn to feel the pain

    Verse:

    This is really the end

    You’ll never, ever do this to me again

    Did you know that the deepest, darkest part of me fears you?

    Well I heard all those “sorry’s” before

    It don’t matter to me, I can’t hear those lies no more

    Well I’m not the one

    I’m not the one

    I will not be the one to be scared

    Chorus: x2

    Instr

    Bridge:

    Down to the line

    That separates you and I with all those lies

    I was so damned blind

    From that moment in time when you and I became one

    Outro:

    Don’t look at me that way

    I couldn’t help this, I couldn’t stop the rage

    I’m not going to be the one to keep living this way….yeah

    Chorus: x2

    This is where it all comes to an end

    Yeah

     (gun shot)

    End

  18. 2 hours ago, HoboSage said:

    Nice love song, JH.  Without knowing the music, I can't say it could work, but as a general proposition I think the chorus would be stronger if it ended with the hook.  If it could work with the music, or with a tweak to the chorus music, I think a four-line chorus with a repeat of the hook as a fifth tag line - something like this - could be a stronger chorus for this.

     

    that's where the love is

    and no matter where I roam

    I feel you and feel at home

    your smile, your touch, your kiss . . .

    that's where the love is 

     

    You might also think about cutting "the" from the hook and make it "that's where love is."  

     

    Just my $0.02.

     

    Thanks David....who said you can't write love songs....lol That's a nice chorus...It would change the music quite a bit, however, but it's not like it's written in stone.  There's always room for a little changer here and there.

  19. On 6/30/2016 at 4:26 PM, Skin said:

    Blimey my brain hurts lol!

    Well I've tried again, and still working on the other one.

    I hope I'm on the right track for this one although it might not seem so without an idea of the story for this.

    Still young but thought I would post, chorus not all together there yet but I will work on it. Nor the bridge.

    Im away for a couple of days but will have my iPad and will try to comment on other posts ASAP.

    The story is of a man in a coma and his wife/partner is with him 24/7 he can feel her he can hear her but cannot show it, then he wakes up. Does it make sense?

     

    Here goes and I hope you enjoy the read.

     

    You Alone

     

    V
    Holding my hand
    I felt your love
    Though I couldn't tell you
    V
    Your gentle kiss 
    Stirred my soul
    I so wanted too hold you
     
    C
    I could feel your presence everyday
    I don't know how long I've been away
    There's one thing I have to say
    You alone-pulled me through
    You alone-kept me alive
    You gave me the will to survive
     
    V
    Your soothing voice
    Gave me peace
    In my darkest moments
     
    V
    When your tears
    Touched my cheek
    I cried deep down inside
     
    C
    I could feel your presence everyday
    I don't know how long I've been away
    There's one thing I have to say
    You alone-pulled me through
    You alone-kept me alive
    You gave me the will to survive
     
    B. This needs work and I will adjust it soon as I can.
    When I opened my eyes 
    You were there
    My vision was blurred
    But I knew it was you
     

    I could feel your presence everyday
    I don't know how long I've been away
    There's one thing I have to say
    You alone-pulled me through
    You alone-kept me alive
    You gave me the will to survive

    After I read the back-story I understand how it all ties together......but for those that don't have that leg-up...a reference to a hospital or a crash, some terrible event that caused the whole situation would help.  Here's a twist...(true story as far as I know).  a soldier was blown into a wall by a mortar blast....he was in a coma for 2 weeks.  his wife never left the hospital for the entire time and she was there when he woke up.  He was blind from the damage but knew instantly it was her that was there..  the happy ending in that story is that eventually his eye sight returned after a few months.  so I guess what I'm trying to say is that it should be a hugely powerful moment at the awakening with a set up prior to the bridge and I think you are close.   Overall.....I really like the write and the idea, Les.  

    • Like 1
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