poeticfreefall

Thanks! I will work on that! Thanks for the feedback!

I have started to try and make my own music/beats recently. But I do sing and sort of rap.

I can't lie to you Hell I’d even die for you Broke down in your old corolla I’d drive miles so they don’t tow ya Next thing, you up and vanish You gotta know that you left your baggage Right on my shoulders Im about to panic You left me here you drove me manic Ive got to go to therapy now You broke your promise, you broke your vow How could you just up and leave Without a goodbye up your sleeve You promised me things Things I can't ever receive Now that you're gone from me f*ck you even left your family What kind of man can that be Now you probably off fornicating On some wild vacation Getting with a girl who said she's Haitian But at the end of the night When things are going right I hope then you’ll see You’ll never find a woman as great as me

Would you want me if I were skinnier Prettier, brainier, funnier? Bet you’d still want her I can change my look Get more into books Paint my nails, dye my hair Carefully choose what to wear But for real who cares You think I need you? Please you wish that were true Going around saying I'm obsessed with you? You think I'm crying over you? boo hoo You know what? f*ck you! You were just a waste of my time Why settle for a penny when I can get a dime? f*ck, I could get a mili if I wanted Thats what you get for taking me for granted And all those days I spent alone When you should have been blowing up my phone With heart eye emojis and shit Man I thought you were it But I guess we all make mistakes One of us had to hit the brakes How'd you do that though? You decided to cheat on me with some blonde hoe Worthless is what you are Hope you don’t mind that I keyed your car Like that Carrie Underwood song I’ll save some trouble for the next girl you do wrong

I would watch the lyric "replace Jesus in the Bible." If you want to reach a wide range of people, you probably wouldn't want to offend a good amount of the people of this Earth.

One recommendation for this song is to enunciate words better at the endings of the words. Sometimes they just fade out when you really should hit it harder.

I don't really know much about beats, but I know a lot about lyrics. Yours flow really nicely and tell a story, which I am a big fan of! So, nice job!

I agree. You sound much like Eminem. I feel like you can create your own flow based on these lyrics. Try not to force the flow, just let it come to you.

I'd recommend working on your diction and enunciation.

Hey y'all! Im Poetic Freefall. I am 19 from down south! I love writing lyrics. I just got into rap lyrics, which has been really fun and inspiring. I had to get something off my chest, seemed to rhyme, so I went for it. I'm looking forward to all the feedback I will receive and all the feedback I will give to hopefully help y'all!

Wow. all I can say is wow! This is severely professional and clean.The way you fade out "myself" is genius. That could honestly be a sort of signature for you.

I love the flow. and the piano chords in the beginning are so smooth. Overall pretty smooth and seamless. I like it!