TodaysTomSawy3r
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Thank you ALL for the constructive criticism, I've really tried to listen to whats been said and adjust accordingly... Looking at it now, I can definitely say you guys have helped me make this piece truly ALLMIGHTY. ✌️
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LOL I understand that the use of "curse/cursed/"cursing" in The Bible is referring to actual events or "afflictions" as I stated earlier. My point was to demonstrate that God is ALL things, and I'm not gonna put it past Almighty God to use whatever language he wants, whenever he wants. I mean for all we know God talks like a straight up Gangster once you get to know him LOL I think the disconnect we are having is with true "cursing" and "curse words". The bible says that we shouldnt take the Lords name in vein which would mean that we shouldn't swear upon Him, His creation or Yourself. It says nothing about common dirty words. I believe all of that was added sometime around the Establishment of the English Church in the 1100s as a way to socially steer their members. Many "cuss" words were actually words that "savage" people were using prior to being converted to Christianity by the aggressively expanding church. So the f bomb is completely interchangeable with "fornication" or "copulation" but becuase the church was trying to stomp out other cultures by discarding their language 900 years ago, most people think it's bad to say it. They're just words and they mean what they mean, civilized or not. Any other understanding of this subject is, in my humble opinion, skybalon. LOL And like I said, there is absolutely no sexual connotation with my use of the f word; im using it as an exclamation of anger/shock/suprise or disappointment, not a verb. I'm all for keeping sex sacred. Biblical and language arguements aside, I will continue to consider what you've said and maybe come up with another version, like a 'Radio Edit', that cleverly excludes the cursing. We'll see what I can come up with. Thanks again for your comments and discussion. Good Day To You.
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Kristiana, I hear you. (I swear; lol pun intended) But i still disagree. Here's why: Lamentations 3:38 asks: "Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good?" Job 2:10 states: "What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil?" In Philippians 3:8, The Apostle Paul wrote: "...I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ..." The actual word used here that was translated later to "dung" was "skybalon" which is a Greek slang word meaning "shit". It was clearly purposefully used vulgarity and yet it remains part of the Gospel. So it would seem to me that God has the authority and the capacity to curse as much as he wants lol He cannot be put in some Puritan box. He is ALL things. I'm not trying to give a pass to all cursing and heathenous speech but in certain spots I think it's ok and I think Paul would have agreed. And again, I wrote this at a very low point where I'm not sure my spirit would have responded the way it has without such a direct, albeit harsh, call out. When I wrote "You can hang your f*cking head Or stand up and rejoice" it wasn't interpretation, THAT IS WHAT WAS SAID TO ME. Deuteronomy 28:15 says: "...if thou wilt not hearken unto the voice of the Lord thy God, to observe to do all his commandments and his statutes which I command thee this day; that all these curses shall come upon thee, and overtake thee..." And they did. God Almighty cursed me the f*ck out! LOL with both words and afflictions. I hope I'm not coming off as overly combative, I just believe strongly in what I have molded here and I can't let it be taken apart and changed without a fight. So again, and again; thank you very much for your helpful critiques and God Bless.
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@Capo3tanya, thanks again to you for your criticism as well. As i just stated in the above comment to Kristiana; I think that by not opening the song with cursing I will have a better chance of capturing someone's attention. Hopefully if they like how it starts (softer), they will be more inclined to stick around and listen to the full message when it ramps up in intensity.
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@Kristiana Azariah, after some serious thought I've decided to heed your advice and remove the cursing from the very 1st verse. I too think that hearing harsh language right off the bat would be off putting to many listeners. The rest of the song, however, will remain as is (at least for the time being), as I still feel some cursing is integral to the aggressive nature of the piece. Thanks again for your input!
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YOU=THEE=ME=WE=ALL that is, was and ever will be. God bless America; Land of the Free and Home of the Brave; ONE Nation, Under God, Indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for All; MY Home, Sweeeeeeeeeeet Home!!!
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Thanks for the feedback! Idk if I want to change it, though I understand the conflict you're pointing out. Perhaps it can be watered down a little for presentation to other audiences (or quoted without the cursing, like you would when singing a song with cursing around your parents lol) but the RAWNESS that comes from strong language is hard to replace. I wrote this at a very low point in my life and that opening verse is literally how the words were given to me. I hear what youre saying; but these days F*ck is used for strong emphais as much as it is for sex (definitely not a sexual connotation here). I feel like everyone has their own temperament and their own personal relationship with God and this is how he spoke to me. lol Idk, I guess God just has to get raw on me sometimes so I really pay attention... Also, the use of THEE is intenentional. The statement effectively reads "...I pray that you set yourself free" (through belief in God/Jesus) and I'm using both ancient and modern language (THEE...YOU) to display a continuum. Each chorus line sounds exactly the same but is actually progessing. 1st I recieved the words directly, so the quoted text is God speaking: "Under ME, ALMIGHTY"; 2nd its me telling the listener/reader God's message and I'm referring to God as "THE ALMIGHTY"; 3rd, the listener/reader has heard the message and is reminded that they have freewill and the power of self determination, so it ends with "Under THEE" and the spelling of "ALMIGHTY" is changed to "ALL*MIGHTY"; Make sense? This all ties into America and it's Christian foundation. "For WE, By WE"
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I was just pointing out that Revelations is part of the New Testament. Also, dreams are used throughout the bible to convey God's will to his people AND there are plenty of red words in Revelations. As far as my work reflecting Jesus words, I have to disagree; "Can YOU be humbled and will YOU believe?Will YOU proclaim to be a keeper of love and peace? If not, then I pray that THEE sets YOU free. That a light comes on, so YOU will look up and see..." This is specifically referring to the path of redemption offered through Jesus Christ. It's true that the Beatitudes were spoken to cover all peoples under the new covenant, but as the red text states: "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil." [Matthew 5:17] I believe that once you understand God's word and you KNOW good from evil, you have a responsibility to make a choice between the two, or you will suffer the consequences. Thats the bottom line and thats what these lyrics are about. This doesn't mean you should be persecuted by men; "I believe in forgiveness" but one should understand that God isn't going to let you off the hook in eternity, should you choose to ignore His message.
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I'm glad you like the message, cursing aside, and I appreciate the critique; Thank You! I know the f bombs are a bit startling but I kinda intended them to be; its supposed to wake you up! And I wrote this piece as a hip hop/rap track, so I feel like this level of cursing would be nothinggg to that audience lol I kinda got a potty mouth myself too
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It's definitely hip hop/rap. I started the piece kinda narrating my own personal wake up call and then it progresses to spreading the words I recieved. The overall message here is that you gotta wake up as an idividual and align yourself with the good in the universe and fight back against the evil and corruption in the world. For me, this means turning to God and Jesus Christ. But you cant get carried away and be some vigilante. When I say "I'll let vengeance be 'His' and therefore mine by extension" I'm referring to God working things out on behalf of all of us.
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I feel like it has elements of both the Old and New Testaments. But if you think a vengeful God is only an Old Testament archetype then you gotta go read Revelations lol
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What do you guys think? Any and all feedback is welcomed and appreciated!
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ALLMIGHTY Eyes closed - I woke up Earthbound and feeling stuck Dead silence calls to ME I can't do nothin' but look up - And wonder; Are YOU real? And will YOU heal; this hole in MY heart? Show ME how to love Help ME fight this evil Tell ME where to start... Then from within came a voice Rang out "YOU have a choice" Said "YOU can hang your damned head Or stand up and rejoice!" "For YOU've been blessed; MY SON But this battle's just begun; I need YOU on the front lines If this war's to be won..." "The Fate of ALL Creation Depends on ONE Great Nation For YE, by YE Under ME, ALLMIGHTY!" Now I'm dressed in this armor I'm growing stronger and stronger Use The Word and MY wits Drop TRUTH on YOU like a bomber Hell No, WE wont back down Hell No, WE won't roll over Storm through the gates of Hell And I'll post up like a soldier Shadrach, Meshach; I'M colder Don't Tread On Me; Done told ya Yeah, Ya better repent now Or THEE gon witness Jehovah He said He's counting to three Gon' eradicate the disease Have ALL these greedy godless fools fall Down upon on their knees The Fate of ALL creation Depends on ONE Great Nation For WE, by WE Under THE, ALLMIGHTY! Now they gon say that last verse was violent But don't get it twisted My Mama said 'be a Simple Man' Love; Understand; Experience Yea, I'll let vengeance be His And therefore mine's by extension He's The Shepherd, YOU a sheep 'Shhhhhhhhhhhh' now, just listen... There ain't nowhere YOU can go Run and try as YOU might GOD's gon' be there to judge Weigh your wrongs and your rights... So which side are YOU on? Is it the Dark or the Light? What's your purpose? What's the point to this thing WE call Life? Can YOU be humbled; and will YOU believe? Will YOU proclaim to be a keeper of LOVE and PEACE? If not, then I pray that THEE sets YOU free. That a Light comes on, so YOU will look up and see... The Fate of ALL creation Depends on ONE Great Nation For WE, by WE Under THE, ALLMIGHTY!
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Hello everyone, I'm Tom. New to songstuff and relatively new to song/lyrical writing. I've got a few pieces to share and ide love all the feedback I can get. Thanks in advance for any time you spend reading/responding to my posts. God Bless.
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