JamTimeMusic

November 19, 2011

Great idea. I will like you all now. Please return the favour:

http://www.facebook.com/Northfieldband

Cheers

J

September 22, 2011

A useful article for those starting out. This game really boils down to product. If the song isn't great then you need to be either drop dead gorgeous or have an alien dancing round you in the video!

September 21, 2011

Hey The Brewer,

Cool post. Thanks for the inspiration as that is what it is for me.

I too am hoping to making waves on the internet but being slow about it.

His website is pretty simple. We could probably do this too as my co-writer is a programmer but at the moment we have started to use Bandcamp.com. It's simple, free and only take 15% which isn't so bad. It also looks way better and has great tracking, stats, billboard reports etc.

The most important thing about this artist is that he has a good product. Your website can be basic, snazzy, blah etc but if the product is crap then that's the end of it. After that you have to hope things will take off by working hard to get the word around.

James

August 12, 2011

Sounds like a real mess, hopefully you're making overtime pay!!!

Hell YEAH!

August 11, 2011

Rioters got me mega busy at work this week. Might get a chance next week.

August 6, 2011

Hey guys and gals,

With the increase of internet outlets for indie music is it really still worth while getting signed? What can a label give you that you can't do yourself?

I ask because I intend to release my bands album later this year and I have very high hopes that it will be a quality album.

Once the album is done we intend to work hard on the gigging and internet scene etc etc. Ok it might take a lot of time to get known but being our own bosses and earning maximum income really appeals to me.

I want to plan our band as if it were a business so I want to know is it worth trying to get signed? What do you even get from a label?

My biggest question is how do you get music on the radio? Why is it that the labels control that area? I'm guessing purely because of money?

I think my concern is just how much money would you actualy make if you got signed these days? Some big named artists are moving over to the independent scenes because they can earn more independently with fewer sales.

Lots of questions I know.

JD

August 5, 2011

Sorry guys been really busy and just don't have time right now to critique your work. I hope you've enjoyed the challenge thus far. A song can sometimes wait on a shelf for a while but sometimes a little bit of dust makes it sound better. Speak soon

JD

August 2, 2011

It's a good experience no matter how far you get. I did it two years ago. I learnt a lot about myself doing it. I got to the third round before the live TV show but made it no further. So my advice is do it. You have nothing to lose.

The biggest advice is know your song and be a personality. I think i played it too safe. You've got to come across as interesting.

Good luck

JD

July 26, 2011

Hey Danny. Welcome to the site. There are quite a few good song writers here on this site.

I am always Interested in collaborations. I also have about 12 years experience in song writing. I am primarily a melody and lyric writer.

I will send you a message.

JD

July 24, 2011

I totally accept your thoughts on the gigging scene BUT you could do exactly the same on the internet by being interesting and working hard to make sure people are watching/listening.

The crux comes down to hard work BUT,

I think internet should be the primary because it will only reinforce what you do at gigs. Ideally really you should do both but you need all the marketting in place before you do the gigging IMO.

When i say internet I mean You Tube as a primary, facebook to advertise and a website as a minimum. You also really need a product E.g. album or single that is available to purchase.

If you have those sites with a decent few videos you can then gig like mad and make the two compliment each other.

So, although the debate is which one, I would say both but, internet first so that you have the reinforcing product in place. Any good business man will tell you: A product that sells while you are sleeping is the forefront to becoming rich/successful.

So in short the steps you should take in this order are:

1) Product production

2) Marketing via internet

3) Marketing via public display

JD

July 22, 2011

Cool post Jramm,

I think you raise a very valid debate and I found your information very interesting. Especially that I didn't realise Pomplamoose had a good amount of success despite being unsigned. The unsigned bit doesn't surprise me as I think they are a bit odd but clearly there are 1% of their viewers who are willing to buy their tracks. When you regularly get millions of views your chances of sales are good. They have been very clever.

I think the answer is clear to me. Do both if you have time.

My personal preference would be internet first because it's a massive platform for exposure. Gigging is a hard slog and requires a lot of hard work and sacrifices that you cannot always make in a real world! But of course is very rewarding.

Great subject. Looking forward to other responses.

JD

July 21, 2011

Cool Post John,

I will apply these tips and post my bio soon.

JD

July 21, 2011

Summer

Summertime girl

You're here again

Makes me think the world

Was made for summer love

Works well melodically. Lyrically interesting.

All those cold nights

We spent so far apart

Made me long to be

With you

It felt to me as if you should kinda say this from a different perspective so I changed one word in each line.

Hold onto the sunlight baby (Like this line. Really distinctive)

Let the rain make all the mistakes (My brain is wondering if I like the sound that the word mistakes has. It might be that i'm just used to the Ooh or Eee sound!)

Woman can't you see (Feels very attacking using the word Woman.)

I don’t want to leave

I won’t ever love you

Anyway other (Cool similarity of my original idea).

I don’t want to live

If I can not (never) love (never love works better melodically)

Nothing can go wrong

It's summer

Lyrically I find the story a little odd. The sunlight references are very positive but I feel the chorus is a bit of a downer. Just my interpretation i guess.

With that chorus line "I won't ever love you, anyway other". That suggests that before that would be. I give you everything, I give you my soul. Not that specifically but that kind of declaration. Or, No matter how you feel about me, I won't ever love you, anyway other". Lots of ways to interpret that line but for me I feel that line in the chorus is the one you need to build the song around.

When you’re not here

I don’t exist

When I'm feeling fear

I head for summer love

And all my steps

Though some are not so long

Always bring me back

To you

The lyrics work but your story telling is fine if your were the artist going to perform it but if this were to be pitched I feel they would think these lyrics not obvious enough.

Sunlight Lady

(V1)

Sunlight Lady

Summer girl (Syllable)

You make me believe

Love’s too good for this world

But those blue skies

With clouds as white as pearls

Are brighter when you’re here

So I...…

Rise

I hold onto my Sunlight Lady

Let the rain make all the mistakes

Chorus

(I) Want you to believe (Maybe add I)

(I) Don’t want you to leave (Maybe add I)

How could I ever need, anyone other. (If I hold the how it works, if I sing it exactly as original then it needs one more syllable)

I don’t want to live

If I cannot love

If we don’t belong

Together

(V2)

Sunlight Lady

You’re the dawn

Where ever I am

Without you I can’t go on

And all my steps

Though some are not so long

May not bring me back

So I...…

(M8)

You’re a cool tasty drink

You’re the thought I like to think

You’re the coming of the day

You’re why I want to stay

You’re the colors of the rainbow

The 'cmon get up and let's go

You’re a field of white daisies

You’re my Sunlight Lady

Cool M8. Like the look of it.

JD

July 21, 2011

Hey Dee.

As long as the Rhyming works it should be ok. As for melody, I am willing to look at alterations if some is good.

The Promises we Give – © Denielle West. July 2011

Something tells me,

Something’s so wrong.

The smile that lights your eyes

Is now dead and gone.

Someone took you

To have and forever hold

The honeymoon’s over

His love has turned cold

He criticizes all that you do

(Yet) you’ve got somebody here who loves you

I can’t stand to watch

Your life pass you by

Sometimes we have to break the promises we give

If you stay with him

You’re too young to die

Come away with me. Live

Dee, very cool attempt. You really embraced this well. Not perfect in places but i liked it a lot.

The first first reads well and sings perfectly.

The second verse is good but I feel the second line is being rushed because of the syllables. You could get away with it but If I were writing it I'd change it because I don't like to change the pattern.

Bridge. Good impacting words. Works well with the melody.

The chorus for me although I totally see what story you are trying to get across iss not working melodically or with great flow. I'd like you to revisit that.

Really like what you have started here. The chorus for me though is the biggy so see what else you got.

Cheers

JD

July 21, 2011

My Final Call

Life must go on….

I see the world talking and laughing

I feel my world is slowly crashing

I am sitting on my own

I feel down, my heart sinks like a stone

Too soon I had bought you that ring

I know you had a fling

First three lines pretty good, last three not so good.

Rise:

I don’t want to talk to you at all (replace at all with NOW and it works better with the melody. Whether It works with the song is another thing).

No engagement, it’s my final call

Chorus:

I don’t want your tears ( I feel should be a non plural word here)

I don’t want your “why’s” (Not sure about "why's")

I know that you don’t love me, as it appears (Interesting line. Quite good interpretation)

You fed me with YOUR lies

I don’t want your tears

Time to say goodbye

I‘ve seen you both kissing and dining

I thought for A while about dying

You were selling me cheap

My love for you was true and deep

You should’ve handed back my key

No more “you and me”

Without engagement

I see the world talking and laughing

I feel my world is slowly crashing

I’m sitting here all alone

Really good first three lines. Read well and sing very well.

I’m on the edge of the unknown (works but I think my brain wants to hear .....ing)

I hold the ring you will never wear it (hard to fit)

You had the affair (too obvious maybe?)

Rise:

Tell me if you loved me, in any case (Too many syllables)

Our engagement won’t take place

Chorus:

I won’t love again

The agony of pain

Stays inside my heart (word), my heart is broken (One syllable missing (word))

I‘m beaten man

You had torn apart

The love in my heart

This chorus is probably the best you have done in terms of working with the melody. Lyrically I feel it can be stronger so have another look. The last three lines are the weakest.

I‘d caught you on lying and cheating (on?)

I feel so sad my heart is weeping

You were selling me cheap(ly)

I love you truly and (word) deeply

I saw your antics and I knew (word) (Antics is not a good word to use imo)

I wouldn’t stay with you

My love is far away

Feel it touch me

Whisper cute words

How sweet can love be?

We’re close like love birds

Promise me this

Move in with me for good (Doesn't work so well)

Seal our love with a kiss (Doesn't work so well)

Rise:

I will would go with you if I could (I would)

No, nobody knows how I feel

Chorus:

My love is far away (N

My love is distant N

Why don’t you come to me, I feel so lonely

I just want to (Word)

Just be close to (Word)

Close, close to you

Danka,

The first verse worked well with the melody so well done. The lyrics are sweet in themselves but the lyrics in general are very abstract, no clear story, just emotions on a page. Although you are improving your ability to write to a melody it feels on this attempt as if you are writing JUST to fit the melody without fully considering the power and impact of your lyrics.

Take the second from last line of your chorus here. You write: "Just be close to". In my version I sing something like "I just wanna love". On the word love I sing it powerfully and with accent. If I try to sing your line with the same emphasis it just does not work because the word "to" just doesn't allow me to do it.

Lines 2-4 of the chorus don't fit well enough with the melody. Line 1 and 2 should sound the same but here you use the words "away" and "distant" as your last two words. They don't rhyme and they contain a differing number syllables. It doesn't work i'm afraid.

I can see how you are improving but I would suggest that what you do now is choose your favourite version of your lyric and re-write that over and over until you get it right. By writing a totally different song each time can be useful to find the one perfect line but I personally like to choose an idea and evolve it.

I hope you take positives from this

Cheers

JD

July 21, 2011

Hey guys,

Thanks so much for the responses. I forgot to post that I was going on holiday. Back now.

I will look at each lyric in turn.

July 21, 2011

When I write I use a blank canvas so literally whatever comes out of my mouth gets recorded onto the dicatphone. I never use prepared lyrics so I guess my answer is I use absolutely no motivation for my music. What comes, comes.

July 1, 2011

Danka, Can I just check. Are you working to file 1 or 2? It seems like 2.

The hook line for me on the chorus is the third line where I sing

"I don't want you to love me, any way other"

I feel that whatever replaces it needs to phrase in a similar way. I don't feel that you have hit the mark using:

"I just want you to go"

"I said my adieu"

I like the idea behind the story. I think the lyrics convey a lot of anger which Is not particularly a favourite for me. Generally fits much better with the melody. Nice attempt.

In the following example you rhyme the end of lines 1 & 3 whereas I feel you should rhyme lines 1 & 2

You told me that was just a fling

Your heart has become a stone

I bought you the ring

The pre chorus lyrics had an interesting take on it. I like you use of 'No engagement, it's my final call'

The chorus isn't doing enough for me. I hear all the anger but it's too much pure anger for my liking. A clever remark or smart ass comment, something fresh would be good in there.

Keep working at it. And just be careful with the melody. Some phrases are perfect but some are slightly out.

Good stuff

JD

July 1, 2011

Hi JD

Is there a deadline for this one?

No deadline Dee. Just a good learning experience. If I happen to like one of the ideas a lot I will take it further.

JD

June 27, 2011

Hey Danka,

Well done for having a go. This kind of challenge is a tough one because it takes a lot of persistence and craft to get right.

The words you have written are nice enough and I can see the song is about missing the love of someone but I don't anything else. There are a lot of emotions from the singer but I feel there needs to be more story so that we can connect to the singer.

In terms of the biggest part of the task, i'm afraid you have deviated from the plan as such.

When writing to an existing melody it is imperative that the words you write fit exactly to the melody. So, syllables are very important as is the way your words scan with the melody.

It might be a good idea to write out the words that I sang so that you can break it down to see the components.

Keep up the good work.

JD

June 22, 2011

BON JOVIIIIII! Love them. Lucky you. Take your time. It's going to be a while before I get to work on it as I'm away quite a lot over the next month.

A weird thought but I can also imagine this song as a contemporary pop/rock song with another theme. I'm thinking more and more about doing a solo album and I'd totally want this on it. The theme is great. I can just also imagine a Kings of Leon style with a dodgy love theme lol.

As for that fourth line, give it a go but don't stress over it as I could quite easily leave it out I guess. Actually I'm sure I could fill that forth line with strings.

Have a nice time

James

June 22, 2011

Hello JD

I am quite willing to change the chorus to fit that's not a problem. My initial thoughts when I began was to have the chorus focussing on the podium. To stand above 2nd and 3rd, watching your flag being raised and your National Anthem being played, I think must be such an amazingly proud moment.

I will put my thinking cap on and see what I come up with. And I'll see if I can squeeze a middle out as well.

On a disappointing note, our application for olympic tickets has been unsuccessful

oh well, we obviously didn't make it happen this time.

Like your song by the way

You haven't seen my other reply have you

June 22, 2011

Ok Danka,

Here's an idea. I quite like it. Again, very sorry about my dictaphone quality and my voice which is now ready for bed! The second time I sang the chorus I got it wrong so forget that. The first one does a good job I feel.

Link: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/Danka%20Olympian%20Dream%202.wav

I have some thoughts about your lyrics. You need to look at rewriting them in a few places to make them stronger.

The lines that I feel need some work are coloured in red. You don't of course have to change them as they are just my opinion.

V1

From other sides of the world

you came here with one dream

to represent your country

athletes of the Olympic team

V2

The Olympic torch is alight

The flame gives warmth to your heart

You look forward to the game

People are waiting for the start

Bridge:

Tackle obstacles, write your own story

Step into victory and live in glory

Chorus:

Believe

You are fast

You are tough

You’re good enough

Believe

You are strong

This is true

The winner is in you

V3

Your dream is to be on top

To give it all is what you’ve got

Everyone believes in you

So today, give your best shot

V4 (Removed again to get back into the chorus quicker).

Bridge:

Tackle obstacles, write you own story

Step into victory and live in glory

Chorus:

Look at either verse 4 or 5 as contenders for the middle 8.

Enjoy

JD

June 22, 2011

Ok Dee,

I think you might like this although you'll need to forgive the dictaphone recording quality and the fact that I am suffering a chest and ear infection.

File 1: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/Dee%20Make%20it%20Happen%20full%203.wav

File 2: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/Dee%20Make%20it%20Happen%20full%204.wav

Ambition fuels a furnace

That burns deep in my soul

Belief that I can turn this

Dream into gold

A dream that keeps me focussed

When doubt creeps in my mind

And blunts my sense of purpose

Part of the time

(Rise)

I must believe

I will achieve

(Chorus)

See my colours

Rise higher than others

I will make it happen

(I kept wanting to sing another line here) Your thoughts?

Hear the crowd erupt

Knowing I belong

I will make it happen

(Verse 2)

I visualize the glory

The crowds calling my name

I’ll make this my own story

Winning the game

(Having looked at the structure after recording my ideas cutting here will accelerate back into the chorus)

(Rise)

This is my time

My chance to shine

(chorus)

Middle 8 (Can use the 2nd half of verse 2 here. Works well tbh)

To reach my finest moment

I’ll race against the rest

Amongst the tide of talent

I’ll be the best

Chorus

Danka,

I will look at your song next.

June 22, 2011

Ok Dee. Very shortly I will be posting some ideas for your song. It has worked very well & I think you will like the melody ideas.

Unfortunately I need a little work from you

(Chorus)

See my colours

Rise higher than others

I will make it happen

Hear my song

Knowing I belong

I will make it happen

This is how it's scanning:

See my colours rise

Higher than others

I will make it happen

Hear my song (Needs a word)

Knowing I belong

I will make it happen

An option for you:

Hear the crowd erupt

.................

I will make it happen

Then, I feel you also need to write a middle 8 or I could just repeat a verse?

JD

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