JamTimeMusic
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Posts posted by JamTimeMusic
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Hey all,
A little bit different this time. Instead of me writing over your words I want you to write words over my melody.
The following links are from a jam session that I had with a guitarist friend of mine.
I invite you to write the lyrics to this song.
Primarily this is a challenge but if something good comes from it then perhaps it will be more. There are already two writers involved so as far as rights go the lyricist will share 1/3 of the rights to the song.
Feel free to use inspiration from the words I sang at the time or discard them completely. It was a stream of consciousness so I am not attached to them.
Idea 1:
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/I%20just%20wanna%20V1.wav
Idea 2 (Alternate Verse melody. Sounds a bit Chillies):
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/23201924/I%20just%20wanna%20V2.wav
There is no middle 8 melody but feel free to right lyrics that will compliment the rest of the song.
Get your ideas in and enjoy.
Lyrical points to consider:
If you were listening to the song on the radio would the lyrics keep you interested?
The verses should develop the story and provide new information for the listener.
The chorus often includes the title of the song.
Consider use of repetition, rhymes, assonance and alliteration.
Enjoy
JD
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Cheers Danka, If something happens it happens but until then....
MP, I think you are right I guess. Can't really argue that point. You'll like the next challenge though. I should post it soon.
JD
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What I will do is sing your own melody to see how it sounds. I may give a lift in places but i'm sure you'll find it nice to hear it. I may look at other alternatives and I will work on Danka's too. I was hoping other musicians would come on here and have a bash at collabing but it hasn't happened yet. As for what's next well once we decide what we like I'll try to do what I did with Burned and put it down for you.
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Dee I respect your thoughts about the singing but the melody is a massive part of the writing. Singing is the best vehicle to explore melody writing but if the singing vehicle is not for you then see if you can explore it using a piano. Nevertheless I think you did a good job singing your melody. It just needs a little more light and shade but you can develop that. I'll stop being so pushy and let you get back to what you're comfortable with.
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Ok well if you're not happy with presenting your voice to the world that's ok but for your own benefit you can still work on ideas. You never know. You might just be able to write great melodies. That's all I am trying to press upon you.
Nevertheless I will have a go soon and hopefully other musicians/singers will also pop along and try to write to these lyrics! We need to get people to read this thread so we can get a few more collaborations going on.
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Dee,
I am really pleased you gave it a go. It's a great first attempt for sure. You've thought about the presentation of your delivery and I'm pleased considering this was your first go. Before I butt in and try a few things myself I want you to work on this just like you would a lyric. The pre chorus/Rise needs more of a rise. It needs to elevate you into the chorus of which you should aim to sing higher. I want you to have another go and see what you can learn second time round. Stretch yourself a little.
You did great. Keep it coming.
Danka, push yourself. Do you really want to forever rely on someone else to bring your songs to life? Believe the words in your song. Are you sure that you CANNOT?
Speak soon
JD
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Hahahha oh dear Dee! What about humming lol. The way I look at it is this. Surely not only good singers were given the ability to write melodies by singing them? You should try it despite your apparent God damn terrible voice LOL! Seriously even if you are a bit out of tune I'll still be able to hear what you are trying to portray. It's uplifting to write a good melody. I guess if you feel that strongly then I guess the piano idea could work. I'll have to translate it afterwards as I struggle to hear an idea not in voice form.
Whatever form it comes, lets hear it.
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Hello,
So, we had only two full entries so I feel that we have enough reason to work on both songs that were submitted. Well done to Dee & Danka for writing great sets of lyrics and taking notice of feedback that was given to them.
Now is the moment that we start thinking about the melody that these words will sit with.
Part 2 of this challenge is to write the singing melody to these sets of lyrics.
Now, I want EVERYONE, even those who feel they are lyric only writers to have a play with these lyrics and see what you come up with. This is a creative experiment so have no fear, just sing into a dictaphone and let the forces of nature guide you to the best melody that you can find. If you have a computer microphone you could always use that and the windows recorder to get your ideas down. If you play an instrument feel free to use that to help you find a melody.
So, start singing my friends and post your ideas/links here.
.......................................................
Song 1 | Make it Happen | © Denielle West - May 2011
Ambition fuels a furnace
That burns deep in my soul
Belief that I can turn this
Dream into gold
A dream that keeps me focussed
When doubt creeps in my mind
And blunts my sense of purpose
Part of the time
(Rise)
I must believe
I will achieve
(Chorus)
See my colours
Rise higher than others
I will make it happen
Hear my song
Knowing I belong
I will make it happen
(Verse 2)
I visualize the glory
The crowds calling my name
I’ll make this my own story
Winning the game
To reach my finest moment
I’ll race against the rest
Amongst the tide of talent
I’ll be the best
(Rise)
This is my time
My chance to shine
(chorus)
........................................................
SONG 2 | Olympian Dream | © Danuta Gal
V1
From other sides of the world
you came here with one dream
to represent your country
athletes of the Olympic team
V2
The Olympic torch is alight
The flame gives warmth to your heart
You look forward to the game
People are waiting for the start
Bridge:
Tackle obstacles, write your own story
Step into victory and live in glory
Chorus:
Believe
You are fast
You are tough
You’re good enough
Believe
You are strong
This is true
The winner is in you
V3
Your dream is to be on top
To give it all is what you’ve got
Everyone believes in you
So today, give your best shot
V4
Shortly the game will take place
The stadium is packed with the crowd
There is the support for you all
Take a big breath and be proud
Bridge:
Tackle obstacles, write you own story
Step into victory and live in glory
Chorus:
Believe
You are fast
You are tough
You’re good enough
Believe
You are strong
This is true
The winner is in you
V5
Your dream, to stand on the podium
The Olympic flag ascends
And to hear people applaud
You are a star, and a legend
Bridge:
Tackle obstacles, write you own story
Step into victory and live in glory
Chorus:
Believe
You are fast
You are tough
You’re good enough
Believe
You are strong
This is true
The winner is in you
Enjoy
JD
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I personally only write down lyrics and guitar chords. I record the vocal melody with guitar accompaniment on my dictaphone. The rest is not important in my view because the nuts and bolts are down.
I wouldn't ever bother writing them out properly unless you are planning for an orchestrated recording.
I personally only write down lyrics and guitar chords. I record the vocal melody with guitar accompaniment on my dictaphone. The rest is not important in my view because the nuts and bolts are down.
I wouldn't ever bother writing them out properly unless you are planning for an orchestrated recording.
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Ha yeah we've lost out on technical detail because people like the vocal so much. I did want the critiques but you know what, it either proves the argument that lyrics are less important than the song or that the lyrics are so good that they melt into the unconcious of the listener.
Personally I think its a great combination of the two. I must say, I didn't expect such good feedback. Perhaps we might have a little gem here?
As for the pre Lazz chorus I'm happy to keep it as it is but I need to sing the two options. The last two lines of the second one weren't sounding quite as vocally powerful as the first. I'll establish if that was me or the phrasing.
As you say, no one has commented so obviously sounds fine. Let's keep it for now unless I get back to you.
JD
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Cool: I love motivational lyrics - I've already started writing this for just such an occassion. (I originally started writing it for a movie that required inspiration and motivation similar to Rocky type montage)
Roar Like A Lion
[Verse 1]
Out there in the battlefield
Conquest is the key to survival
No chance when you’re just standing still
Out there in the battlefield
Eye to eye your facing your rival
Can endurance out weigh the skill
The passion to win keeps hope alive
Stare till you see the fear in their eyes
Stand as the beast that will lead the pride
And sweet victory will be the prize
[Hook]
When you/Roar/Roar like Lion
Will you be the one
To sound the triumphed cry
When you/Roar/Roar like a Lion
Nothing less than gold
Who’ll be the last to sur-vive
I'll post the rest if your interested..
Bo,
Do you have full lyrics for this? This will be our third submission but for the next part of the challenge we need a full length song before we decide which song we will work on.
JD
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Hehehe Cheers Dee. Fingers crossed!!! lol
Tom,
Yeah that could work. It's different yet similar so yeah could be just what it needs
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Hey Tom,
With regard to the Pre Chorus. I don't mind if the lyric changes but something about the second one didn't feel quite as fluid as the first. Look into it and see what you think.
I don't change the tempo of part of a track as a general rule so all I can do is either speed it all up of add percussion. I will do the later.
I also want to consider the verse melody. I changed it slightly because when I was singing it the original felt a little low. I will play around with that again I feel.
JD
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Dee, Tom,
Thanks very much. It was a while in coming but to give someone else a feeling of success is a really pleasurable feeling. I was put on this earth to write songs and I only realised that when I never became a success as a singer! The day I realised that singing had just been the vehicle to get me into songwriting was an amazing day. Suddenly everything clicked and this year I have been on fire. I have written so many good melodies for my band songs and it's starting to rub off on other collaborations. Since finding this site just a few months ago I have grown even more in confidence so hats off to everyone here and who has spent time working on my challenges.
I really hope Tom, that you are right. I wish I had the drive that I have now 10 years ago! Maybe I would have made it! The most difficult journey that I now face is the part after becoming good at what you do. The getting the stuff out there part. Takes a lot of courage, belief and persistence. Finally at the age of 31 I think I have that in me. Hopefully not too long now.
Anyway,
Tom. I've realised that the song is good and has a lot of potential so I would like us to do the following:
1. Look at the song lyrically and discuss 'Is it as good as it can be'? I don't consider myself a lyricist so I'll let you decide that. We have plenty of time to get it spot on.
2. I'm used to repeating the Pre chorus' rather than changing the lyrics. That is something you will find is very common in commercial songs. I feel the second flows less well but we can discuss this.
3. I need to redo the vocals as they aren't as strong as they could be. Especially the first verse. Very wobbly.
4. Complete a full production of the song. I can only do so well at my home studio but hopefully it will enough to put it out there.
5. These collaborations are good for me so I shouldn't stop them completely. I will find some time to work on this song over next few months maximum.
6. I don't know any better vocalists or female vocalists so I may look around and see what I can find.
7. Should I speed the song up slightly?
Speak soon
JD
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Hey Tom,
Glad you like it buddy. I had to change the "hide behind a wall" lyric slightly but otherwise everything else went well. I didn't notice your change of words on the chorus repeat till after I had done it so that's not on there but otherwise I think we have something to work with. I may jazz it up at some point but I'm a bit stuck for time as I need to get my head down and work on the band stuff now. Seven months till our target album release date.
As this was the first songwriting challenge and my first collaboration on this site I will say that I feel it was a major success. Thanks to everyone who gave feedback along the way.
JD
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I always say let the song choose the structure. What I mean by that is purely the difference between having a pre chorus or not. Sometimes you don't need it but sometimes the song lends itself to a pre chorus. Other than that you will find I always stick to:
Verse,
Verse or Pre,
Chorus,
Verse,
(Pre),
Chorus,
Middle 8,
Chorus.
It's the universal song arrangement and you will never go wrong with that.
JD
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Hey Danka,
That seems much better. It's a good story and you can almost feel their belief growing as it progresses. Really like it. Well done.
JD
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Ok here it is. Not the best but all I've had time for.
Hope it works for you
http://www.reverbnation.com/jdcollaborations
JD
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What we will do now is give until the end of this month for any final lyric submissions and as we have a few to chose from we will congratulate all entrants for their good work and then create a voting poll to see which lyrics we will use. Once we've done that we can work at phase 2. The melody.
So, please complete your final revisions by May 30th.
JD
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Hey man,
I've had a busy month or two and I had to push this right to the back of my priorities. Sorry bout that. BUT, I have a couple of days of this Monday and Tuesday so... I will get my vocal done so we have a basic demo to show off.
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Dee,
I love your re-write. I can really hear this being sung now. The lyrics are great. Nothing bad to say about them. You have re-written several times and it shows. Well done.
JD
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Hey Danka,
You have written a good story. The verses seem to work well together. The metering may need to be looked at though as it is not totally consistent throughout the song. It doesn't always matter but from verse to verse the melody will be very similar if not the same so your metering needs ideally to be the same through each verse. That also goes for the bridge. To give you a helping hand just count the syllables in each line of the verse. A melody writer will have an easier time writing to verses that have the same number or very similar number of syllables.
Bridge:
Show your own thirst
And prove it;
That you are the best.
I would perhaps remove the 'IT' from 'And prove it'
Chorus:
Let’s begin, say a prayer
be a winner with desire
It’s your success and your glory
You can write your own story
I feel that the last word of line one & two should rhymne like line three & four do. It doesn't have to but it jumped out at me as I was imagining singing it.
Nice write. Please wait for a few more opinions and see what you want to take from it.
JD
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Are we gonna see another re-write Dee? I like how your idea is progressing. Lots of thoughts from folks here.
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Song Writing Challenge/competition #2 Updated
in Songwriting
Posted · Edited by JamTimeMusic
Well I think it's time that I share with you what inspired me to create this topic. About 6 months ago Tim & I started work on a song that we very quickly realised was turning into an Olympic themed song. We were almost done recording when I started this so here is the link to Northfield's very own Olympic song also entitled:
Make It Happen
Your heart is pounding
And the crowd are on their feet
Their sound is drowned out
As you're starting to believe
You want to win this
You can see the finish line
The moment's getting closer
And that's all you need
You can make it happen
You can find a way
This is what you've lived for
This can be your day
If you start to believe
You can only achieve
And you can make it happen
Your time is right now
And now is all you have
The future's waiting for you
You've got to reach out
You can make it happen
You can find a way
This is what you've lived for
This can be your day
If you start to believe
You can only achieve
And you can make it happen
You can stand proud
You can sing it out
We will all be there with you
Every step you take it matters
Even if it's hard to face
But you wont give in
You can make it happen
You can find a way
This is what you've lived for
This can be your day
If you start to believe
You can only achieve
And you can make it happen