dont you sweetheart me

[merciful evans]

by evans...     don`t you sweetheart me    2004

my wife became so ugly,

and she blamed it onto me.

she blamed it on her mum & dad,

her schooldays and the life she had,

she found a scowl, so very fowl,

and used it every day, in every way,

from shepherds bush to san tropez.

shes a beautiful girl I have to say,

but the wind changed in a flash one day

and she became unsightly, unladylikely,

and the neighbours stare daily, as I stare nightly.

when she beams she radiates beauty and health,

and ive seen this once or twice myself,

she spent three hundred nicker on a party gown,

then spoilt it all, at the reception hall,

with her usual grim and puckered frown.

what was the point of that I asked?

next time lets hire a bleedin mask

the trouble is, she gets the hump you see,

or at least that's how it seems to me

if I walk with her, she gets the hump

if I talk to her, she gets the hump

she comes from irish londonderry

and a line of sullen dromedaries  

there's  a pattern here somewhere, I reason,

I wonder and I muse,

why is it that she's got the blues

on every day of every season

when we was in the car one day,

a gent paused to let her drive away,

she gave to him a radiant smile,

and I was jealous of that driver,

for fetching up that smile inside her,

upon that familiar dial

before wed even gone a mile.

'I wish I was him' I managed to say,

but then I caught, an unwilling thought

'...in another car, going another way'

'why don't we have a kid' she says,

but would it make you glad babe,

would it make you smile?

inspect a crappy nappy pet,

it may cheer you up awhile.

why don't you crack your face my dear,

weve had more mess that that in here,

if my mates come to stay awhile,

and see the absence of your smile.

soon they fret and mutter,

panic and start to utter...

'have we called at a bad time vera?

perhaps well call another era?'

they all think her a nutter.

for me there could be no other

even after I first saw her mother,

she was my dearest sweetheart.

I wish I couldve made her smile,

to wipe the sulk from her face

and glimpse her old face for a while.

- the end -

[Alistair]

evans, I'm just repeating myself when I say you are genius. This is great, especially:

'I wish I was him' I managed to say,  

but then I caught, an unwilling thought  

'...in another car, going another way'

There's just one line which feels like filler and that's:

or at least that's how it seems to me

for which I suggest

[glow=red,2,300]or gurns like a whale that's swallowed a bee[/glow]

[Steve]

Another classic!   ;D

[Rudi]

or gurns like a whale that's swallowed a bee

I agree about the filler, but this is surreal!

[merciful evans]

right alistair. it is filler. i will get on and change it. i wont use the gurn word though. she just looks a misery, thats all. i like the whale bit though. thanks buddy.

[nigel lawry]

wicked!!

;D ;D ;D

[Alistair]

right alistair. it is filler. i will get on and change it. i wont use the gurn word though. she just looks a misery, thats all. i like the whale bit though. thanks buddy.

I am honoured, mr evans