That Flamin' Hubby Of Mine

[chez63]

That Flamin' Hubby of Mine - loosely based on a true story

A full moon cast an eerie light

upon our yard that warm Spring night

and all the guests arrived complete

with appetites and beer

We passed around some coldies

told some new jokes and some oldies

when hubby puffed with pride and said

"Hey see what I've built here!"

All gazed in his direction

so when centre of attention

he proceeded to explain

how he'd produced this work of art

He continued on so proudly

when a voice exclaimed quite loudly

"She's a ripper of a barbie

can ya get the thing to start?"

Hubby laughed as he was goaded

"Not a prob Bob she's all loaded

primed and ready for the finest

barbeque you'll ever get"

But his confidence did fray

when he discovered with dismay

we were out of firestarters

and the blinkin' wood was wet!

So never to be beaten

and as no one there had eaten

he retrieved a can of petrol

that he'd stashed up in the shed

Good sense had flown the coop

as he eyed the hungry group

one single thought upon his mind

"Just get the blighters fed!"

Feeling rather smug

he just gave a little shrug

as he splashed the liquid

'til it soaked the grate

The smell of petrol filled the night

as he leaned in match alight

and 20 guests watched on

in breathless wait.

A huge explosion! Balls of fire

faster than the Sydney Flier

hubby ran across the yard

onto the street

Six blocks away we found 'im

and Macca had to ground 'im

the mishap left him singed

from head to feet

He learned a lesson on that night

now a sore and sorry sight

with not a single hair left on his skin

all red and mottled

He just sits there eyebrows missin'

thinking of that night and wishin'

for a barbie with the fuel

safely bottled.