Holy Smokes...the Frustration!

[Carrieptn]

I got my acoustic guitar for Christmas in 2011. It is honestly the best gift I have ever received. I fell in love immediately and I've been obssessed with playing and learning since day 1.

Here's the deal..My boyfriend and I are both artists. He is much more accomplished on a guitar than I am. He has been playing for a while. We decided to start a duo in our small town and started practicing in our garage. I love doing this. Then he tells me that he is going to book us somewhere in one month. HOLY SMOKES! I am in no way prepared to play in public. Why is this so hard? I sing in front of people all the time! Why is playing a guitar and singing in front of them so different?

My chords a deadened A LOT OF THE TIME. Especially when making a D and changing to another chord during a song (it frustrates me to no end). I keep my nails short. My strings a new. I try to position my wrist and fingers correctly.

I can't keep rythmn, half the time. Most of the songs I do are mid tempo or slow.

That and....I haven't played standing up yet. Is this going to change everything? This whole playing standing up? Won't that change the whole position of my wrists? Everything?

I know he is pushing me, cause he believes in me, and the truth is, I love him for it...but I'm kinda freakin for his sake and mine...I'm my own worst critic.

Help a lady out, won't ya?

Edited August 30, 2012 by Carrieptn

[Carrieptn]

Thank you. I am seeking advice. I'm open to advice. I want to play better and I know that is going to come from good, solid advice. I agree with you, only from what I know in my gut. Saying that, I also know that I criticize myself more so than anyone else and also, that my boyfriend, doesn't want to hurt my feeling by giving me his. There are some songs that I'm more confident in playing, others I don't know at all, and some I only know parts of. And I play according so.

I remember the first time I attempted playing standing up, it kinda shocked me. It was a mind blow. Once I felt comfortable...BOOM...a new learning experience. I've decided to start practicing, standing up, atleast 3 times a week out of my sessions.

I want this experience. I mean, I really want to do this with him. It is so much fun and there is just this freedom in it. Singing is my favorite instrument, but I've written songs for a very long time and to finally be able to put my own music to my lyrics (even if its not to "par") is amazing. It makes me smile thinking about getting to share them, while I play My guitar is like my own little harmony.

Thank you for writing me and giving me this advice.

[MissMartha]

Ahh, baptism by fire-- it's the best. Treat your practice as an athlete or dancer would . Warm up the left hand gently to preserve endurance. I'm a double bassist and this is paramount. Don't abuse your joints or muscles. Try to make your chord changes smooth, speed will come in time. Best of luck.

[john]

Practice as close to live set up as possible. Familiarity will help you be more comfortable.

If you would prefer to sit down ( try standing up at least and practicing to see if you can get comfortable standing, Arrange for a bar stool so you can sit or stand. Start out sitting as that way you are most comfortable if necessary. The bar stool also gives you a prop, which can be useful for calming nerves etc.

Get some friends around and play to them in your front room, but don't just play, perform.

Relax. Bring the audience into your performance by picking a few people and make and hold eye contact while you play. So get used to playing and not looking at your hands.

Play through the songs in 3 ways:

• playing only guitar (get your bf to do the singing)
  
• only singing (rely on your bf to play the guitar to allow you to nail the vocal)
  
• play and sing
  

Do all sitting, and all standing.

Perform to your bf while he performs the same song to you, together. It's a great way to strengthen your connection with a fellow performer, get synched mood wise etc.

Try to not take comments and crit about your performances seriously. as you progress, or if you are reasonably confident, video your perofmances so you can tighten up how you present your music.

Getting familiar with your audience is a good idea. Talk to them. Have prepared stories behind songs etc. It helps them buy into it and helps you make a connection with them that can ease performance nerves AND make the audience connect to you as a performing artist, and with your songs directly.

Try playing in front of a mirror. Full length if possible. Similar to the video, but more instant.

Remember, it's the song you are trying to deliver well. So when you perform, take a second to get in the emotional state that connects YOU with the song. If you connect with that emotion and get used to it as your performance friend, by being involved with the song, nerves about performance will fade into the background and help you perform better.

Definitely, the more of these warm up performances you do, the more at ease you will be on the night. Every day, even several times a day, is a great idea for confidence building, plus it hones your performance. Much like any practice, it brings familiarity.

I hope these ideas help in some way

Cheers

John

[Carrieptn]

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Such great advice and ideas, and they will definitely be put to use. I'm so happy I asked and that you all responded.

Martha (or anyone) you said to make the transitions smooth. How do you make them smooth, but swift, without there being "hesitation" or deadening (especially in a more up tempo song)? I see others play and I notice this smooth quality they have. I envy it, because I too, want to be able to just change chords "smoothly." Is is just a matter of muscle memory? Any suggestions?

Again, thanks for the AWESOME feedback

[john]

you are very welcome. glad to help .

about chord changes... the idea is to make chord changes eadier and second nature.

When you change chords you should look at two things:

1. Are there any notes and fingering in common?

2. Are there any notes in the new chord that although different notes from the original chord the same finger is used on the sane string?

Changing chords is definitely easier when there are more reference points. For example where your hamd is on the neck or your fingers on a string.

So, for 1 you keep that finger on the same note and use that as an additional fixed reference / anchor point for the chord change. Obviously if the finger changes this doesn't work.

For 2 simply keep the finger on the string but slide it along the string to the new location.

Do this for all commom chord changes starting with changes in the songs you currently play.

Then comes practice:

Do each change looking at what you are doing. Try it a few times. Be aware of your arm positions, hand, fingers... the way the guitar feels in your hands for each chord.

Now do the same with your eyes shut tight. This reduces the amount of external stimulus to your brain making it easier for your mind and body to remember what to do. You learn faster and it helps you to develop a closer bond with your music. I also recommend singers do some practice with eyes closed paying close attention to breathing and the mechanics of how they produce their voice.

This way we build "muscle memory" far faster, and those chord changes become faster and smoother plus your ear will become more attuned to nuance and feel.

Pretty soon it's fairly automatic.

Repeat the exercise sitting and standing... even when it comes to initially adjusting your guitar strap so you get a comfortable playing position. A big part is simply learning to shift your focus and listen to your body and the feedback it gives you for any action you take...

[Carrieptn]

I played at a jam session the other night with some friends. I played standing up on a couple tunes, however, I played on an electric. WOW. It was so much easier. I'm wondering if I purchase a thin bodied acoustic, if it would help, because of my small frame...However, I'm so partial to Chubby Sally (that's my guitar). SHE IS MY BABY! I loved playing on my friends electric. I'm still pro acoustic, it didn't change me. You just can't beat the sound of an acoustic

Thanks for the advice John. I will definitely use these tips!

[RobT]

You might also want to find a non-threatening environment to do a practice set or two, such as a senior home. Shut ins are so appreciative of you stopping by and giving of yourself, that they will make you feel fabulouse even if you know you barely made it through the set.

Just pick approriate music and they will love you and your confidence will soar.

Rob

[Carrieptn]

That is a really great suggestion Rob!!! Thanks! I love the idea!