Her Face

[MPerry]

I have not posted here in awhile, so here I am back to see what everyone thinks?

 

               HER FACE

 

All I ever wanted, I will never know

In a field of crow, that failed to scatter

While the ground lay covered with snow

 

In the stillness her breath rose with mine

Climbing skyward, only to fall again as tears

Her eyes dreamed of conquest, through a filtered light

I touched her porcelain bone and alabaster skin

 

We danced, as the day spawned into night

 

A musical dirge played, only we could hear

I watched her body as it corrupted mine

Her beauty held me spellbound, point of no return

I knew then, I would be lost; needing her to remain

 

All I ever wanted, I will never know

Becoming the absolution, I had denied myself

In a field of crow, that failed to scatter

While the ground lay covered in snow

 

We danced, as I gave up all of my earthly rights

 

As if by a memory, her face retained its complexity  

spilling over, in a kiss, her lips made mine insane

within jagged harmonies broken by stillness, to a fault

letting go, or losing her, thinking I could have it all

 

Then, she was gone, as the light, left my eyes, blind

 

Denying me from heaven, as winter laid claim

      I stand alone in this field of crow

           That failed to scatter

While the ground lay covered in snow

 

I live to weep another day, truly lost 

Without meaning or in a days end, sleepless

her image gleaned,  on flesh and bone

from old age n' memories, no reward left to reap

 

All I ever wanted, I will never know

In a field of crow, that failed to scatter

While the ground lay covered in snow.

 

By Michael Perry (Copyright 2008, 2014)

Edited February 11, 2015 by MPerry

[Gwyneth]

Beautiful lyrics really enjoyed each line. You are such a talented poet my friend. Shakespeare in Jeans.

 

Cheers

Gwyneth

[MPerry]

Hi Gwyneth

Your way too kind with your comments to me!!..I just enjoy the process of writing poetry/lyrics and it gives me pleasure in a persons reaction whether good or bad....yours obviously is the reaction I am wanting when I post!!...so I am overjoyed that I accomplished that...Thank you for reading and appreciating that I have value..regards, Mike
 

[symphonious7]

This was seriously good.  So much thought provoking imagery and concepts.  My one criticism is the line "Spawned into day".  I'm not sure spawn can really be used in place of "turned" since to spawn something is to give birth to it, could that be changed to "the night spawned the day"?  or "the night melted into day"?  Not sure what you'd want to change it to or if you would that was just the only line that through me off.  Outside of that it was an immensely well crafted piece of work in my opinion.  

Edited January 30, 2014 by symphonious7

[MPerry]

Symphonious7

 

Thanks for the really nice comments from you!...yeah I guess spawned might not be the proper word, I wrote this along time ago...and spawned was the first word that came to mind...and in those days ...I did not rewrite, I just wrote a draft and looked at it and went thats it, it's done...you bring up very valid points...and I will keep them in mind, when I post another one of my poems....I thank you for bringing that to my attention...with regards Mike

Edited February 1, 2014 by MPerry

[Melfiuss]

Great one! 

 

In the stillness her breath rose with mine

Climbing skyward, only to fall again as tears  - favorite part

[MPerry]

Hey Mel

 

Thanks for stopping by and offering your comments, it means alot to me that we share a mutual admiration for the power of the written word.  regards Mike

[trickybigc]

yes, well written with great imagery. I love this : 

All I ever wanted, I will never know

In a field of crow, that failed to scatter

While the ground lay covered in snow.

[louielouwhy]

It sounded to me like someone who might have been the best thing in that "old mans" life had made a permanent exit at some point in time of which was still real, but is no longer a part of something that is still there that is currently viewed as something as a contrary nature, meaningless, cold, reclaimed, and separated from a future, and unrecognizable as something that is only conscious to the author.  The memory is both bitter and sweet about her, because the relationship never came to any type of fruition except yearning and regret for what I think the author would have preferred to expect to have experienced with her and more, more often.  Actually, the more I read it that tone becomes clearer and clearer in my mind.  The only point that it doesn't express to me is the feeling about how the author feels about it while he is reflecting.  Does it matter?  But to reveal that may be too much of an influence on the reader, instead of allowing the reader to decide.  To me the way you got it makes the reader partial to how I've interpreted it.  I think the lyrics emphasizes more beyond the relation to the title.  I'd name it something else, or add to 'it'.  Nevertheless it doesn't veer off from whom or what the subject is.  But that is just me.  I liked it, it was eery and a tad sad and remorseful.

[MPerry]

Hi trickybigc

 

Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I really do appreciate it!..believe it or not, this poem is from a dream I had, next day..writing it down!...regards, Mike

[MPerry]

Hi louielouwhy

 

Thanks for commenting and stopping by....I am a visceral writer...I feel it, I touch it..I acknowledge it...and this poem came about that way...whether I was in it or not...I felt it with my whole being...and next morning I wrote it all down...I also wrote another version, which I may now post...as a lighter version of this one...as some people have been turned off by the darkness of it..which was never my attention...but to show I have a lighter side I may post that version as well to get a reaction!...anyways thank you so much for stopping by and acknowledging my post...regards, Mike