Hey Everyone! 2Ndsun Here!

[2ndSun]

One of the first songs I wrote, any help and critique is welcome, really need to know my strengths and weaknesses. 

 

 

Eclipse

(V1)

Calm down the coast I was sailing

Didn’t need no ladder, didn’t need no railing

Was comfortable kicking in the deep end

Was a good swimmer, yeah was quite seasoned

Then,

For no reason,

The waves crashed down like a titan cleaving

Without no feeling or sense

I wish that I knew the pretense

Funny, thinking that would save me from my troubles

Underneath the surface was searching for air bubbles

What I found left me with a rosy complexion

The 2^ndsun rising in the waters reflection

It carried me up, where first I was muddled

The waters tryna take me dried up like a puddle

It was on that day that I knew my purpose,

No longer toiling away thinking I was worthless

But no, not now, not ever, I see things clear

Left with a sense of right and a reason to cheer

(Hook)

Clarity frothing straight from that chalice

The waters of life don’t contain any malice

But it doesn’t need intention to flounder and drown ya

See in the glimmer was a reflection resounding

That’s me,

Secundus to all these alphas

Don’t need your methods

My school of thoughts been founded

 

(V2)

Instead of blood, in my veins now theres faith

No more ties to material, no weight

No more cries from the honest inspector

Im on the right path, yeah, the journeys director

My cup runneth over like bolt does sprinting

See the wisdom in this glass in kinda rose-tinted

But now,

I don’t need no reason to stomach

The false lies leading all you horses to paddock

Cus the truth is clear, as the sun does shine

Watch out for the eclipse,

It marks my time.

[omenrama]

Was this written without music?

[2ndSun]

I wrote it using a metronome beat with a speed of 79 bpm if I remember correctly.