Are You Proud Of Me?

[PTCruiser1801]

Hi everyone!

I am only new to this forum and relatively new to song writing and recording. I have recently uploaded my very first original song to soundcloud and I am looking for some feedback on it. If anyone has 3 minutes of free time, I would love to hear what you think!

Here is the link: https://soundcloud.com/ptcruiser1801/are-you-proud-of-me

Here is more information about the song:

I wrote this song a little while ago in response to seeing people around me going through some tough times with anxiety and depression and the struggle that they faced on a daily basis. Some of these friends I saw overcome their struggles and some didn't. The song hopefully reflects the persistent nature of mental illness. The 'Are you proud of me?' line reflects one particular person I know whose personal struggles related to never feeling good enough for anyone.

Here are the lyrics:

I see the road,
Narrow right before my eyes,
And in the dark,
The fading light is my disguise.

I hear a voice,
That familiar haunting sound,
It follows me,
I know no place it cant be found.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

I stand and wait,
To watch you walking right by me,
You think I'm gone,
My shadow isn't there to see.

I keep the faith,
My will is strong if I believe,
In time I'll know,
What I can and can't achieve.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Focus now,
You're reflecting your own dreams,
Broken Down,
Everything's not as it seems.

Weary eyes,
They've seen too much but cannot close,
Sunken Heart,
A lier reaps just what he sows.

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what you see?
Are you proud of me?

[Lisa Gates]

Hi PT,

I see your introduction and this post too. I think you have some talent here on a couple of different levels. I can only critique lyrics so I'll leave this one to the sound and recording geeks that dwell here on Songstuff for that!

I invite you to read the rules here at Songstuff that are set up so you can learn and grow and help others of like mind (like you said in your intro ) This board (as do most of the boards here on the forums) has a critique two / post one rule. If you look at the top of each board there are rules to read. here they are:

http://forums.songstuff.com/index.php?app=forums&module=forums&section=rules&f=20

 

Looking forward for more posts and input from you!

Be Well,

Lisa