Shadows and the King

[rockror11]

Hello Friends,

Not a poet/lyricist, but want to start writing stuff.

Please point out my mistakes and provide constructive feedback so that I can improve on this skill.

Here goes:

 

Shadows and the King

Peacefully seated on his throne,
Staring at the distant palace gates,
He see's shadows bigger than the hills,
Approaching at the pace of an arrow.
He calls upon the divine forces,
Seeking help and intervention.
The forces shine bright upon him,
Their light and aura that's blinding.

Though these fights were uncalled for,
Gathering courage n coming this far.
Ready to fight, the league of shadows.
He'll disintegrate the evil and sorrows.

The shadows reciting their evil curses,
Targeting troops lying in their paths,
Breaking their courageous march
Speeding to reach, throne of the One.
The shadows are not at all alarmed,
The king is now divinely armed.
They could fight him if they must,
But in the end, they will be turned to dust.

Though these fights were uncalled for,
Gathering courage n coming this far.
Ready to fight, the league of shadows.
He'll disintegrate the evil and sorrows.

Though these fights were uncalled for,
Gathering courage n coming this far.
Ready to fight, the league of shadows.
He'll disintegrate the evil and sorrows.

[MPerry]

Hi rockror11

 

I liked this very much- has a lot of life- and it rhymes- although that is not my big deal- I write whether it rhymes or not- but yours had consistency and grandiose- it wowed me!. Not sure why no one else commented?, I loved it!, thanks for sharing, regards Mike

[Tracey Cothran]

very creative -  I like things that are different but why are the last two versus the same?

[JamesJones]

wow not my style of peotry but i like the details and feels like a story i like it a lot